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Evil b** IL

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  • Evil b** IL

    Currently feel like we're on the roller-coaster of hell.
    My OH sister has accused him of historical sexual child abuse, this isn't the first time she's accused him of this when she was younger she made the same accusation and was temporarily removed by social services from their family home (social services had already been involved with her for a number of years before this, she has a history of making things up and some mental health issues). My OH at the time was interview informally by the police and social services as well as his parents giving statements. Back then he wasn't fully aware of what she'd claimed he had done just that it was some sort of sexual abuse. The case was dropped soon after, he was also never told why now we know it's because she told the police and social services that she'd lied.

    Now she's decided to bring it all up again she casts a massive shadow of doubt due to her history and in the course of being with my OH she's used it as blackmail multiple times when she wasn't happy about something or an argument hadn't gone her way. Which is what's prompted her to go the police this time, every other time she pressures her mum to call him round and try 'sort' things out between them. This time I'd had quite enough of living in fear and being threatened so he told them he wasn't meeting them to discuss anything (the original argument was over fb post about her trying to stir rumours) his mum then was being very instant that she was bringing his sister over to talk to OUR house and even after I got on the phone and told her over and over again that she wasn't to set one foot near by house with her she wouldn't let up. That day we went to the police about the threatening messages and worry of his sister coming to our house as she has a violent temper.
    Things seemed to go ok for a few weeks we had a letter sent stating that she wasn't to contact us any more and that an injunction order would be put against her if she ignored it. Then last week we had a knock on the door from the police telling us she'd made an accusation and that they'd been trying to contact him.

    He wasn't placed under arrest or held after the interview and the police we're unaware of the argument they had that day or the messages we were sent, they hadn't got hold of the original police file or her social services paper work yet and said they'd be re interviewing others who had already given statements due to his interview. It seems his mum's painted a very rosy picture of the relationship and family life with his sister. Her accusations are extremely vague she only gave a age at which it supposedly started and said it went on for a few years. So now it's just a waiting game the police said that one of three things will happen they wont take it any further or submit to CPS. I don't know if it's a standard to say that but one thing I found unusual was that his sister had a character witness statement for her from her friend when she went to police this time.

    Sorry if this seems all over the place I've found it really hard to concentrate recently I've been struggling quite bad with depression for a few months now after having a MC and this has just knocked me sideways. I just feel like everything in the life is crumpling apart just when I was starting to make progress. I'm very fortunate that my side of the family and good friends have rallied around us.

    I hope the police see she's just uses this as a trump card and it's the first time she actually gone and done it. She even says in a message sent to me that unless we met her she was going to the police, insinuating that she'd drop it :S Or maybe they'll be something in the original reports from SS he was never questioned further she was never removed again and no protect plans were put in place he was allowed to be around her and left in the house with her when he's parent went away. Surely if SS thought she was in any sort of danger they'd set some thing up, that was less than 5 years ago when SS jump the gun at any sign.

  • #2
    Hi and a sad welcome to our forum and life on the other side of normality!
    It's the same type of story that is happening so often these days- the blackmail of "Do as I say or else I'll tell the cops you did so-and-so. Sadly how our culture has changed!

    I can't help with any legal issues, just to say that it's a horrible road to be travelling on and I hope the police soon see through the lies. However it is amazing how much strength we sometimes find when faced with this level of adversity

    Keep posting, keep us posted
    They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

    Comment


    • #3
      How strange! I've been in PM with another person whose OH's daughter (not sister) had made allegations, admitted she lied, then resurrected the allegations, and he has since been convicted.

      In your case, what was the reason for lying, that she gave to the police / SS the first time around?

      Hopefully your OH had a solicitor with him at the interview.
      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

      Comment


      • #4
        This time she said she didn't want to tear the family apart ^.~ which is completely contradictory to what she's done. We not know what she said the first time she brought it up as police haven't even got hold of that information yet.
        The police let him choose the interview date so we got a solicitor there, although looking at some of the threads that's not normal?

        His family are quite strange after the first few months of date I noticed particularity his sister and mum displayed similar behaviours to an abuse ex I had, very controlling would get over the top angry, then quickly shift the blame to someone else and make that person apologies for making them angry. He was constantly in tears over them and it took a long time to show him that what they were doing want normal or ok.

        Comment


        • #5
          Had there been an admittance of lying that could be put to her at trial, should there be a charge, in your case. it seems though she only retracted. Mind you, she could still be asked why she changed her mind, given that it's torn the family apart now.

          She might say of course that she could not move forward in her life so had to take the lesser of the two evils..... or prosecution could say in in their closing speech, that "she could not move forward in her life so had to take the lesser of the two evils.....".

          All you can do is hold on in there. And maybe watch her FB profile to see if there is anything interesting on there that might assist. if so, take a screenshot and save it. Don't give it to the police as they will advise her to make her profile private, which will mean you lose one avenue of potential defence evidence.
          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

          Comment


          • #6
            Just wondering, from what years is the alleged abuse supposed to of happened and what age would your OH of being at the time in question? As Doli Incapax might apply.

            Comment


            • #7
              She mostly keeps her profile private but has slipped up a few times posting things publicly, I've been keeping an eye out though just in case. A few times mutual friends have sent us screen shots of her over sharing things and publicly threatening people so we might be able to get get something.
              But thank you for the advice if it progress to trial I'll keep anything I find between us and the solicitor.

              The years are a bit vague she said it started when she was 6 so OH would have been 12 and it happened for 'some years' (her words) so that would have been from 2002 I think.

              Comment


              • #8
                "Some years" - do you know how many years? Soulbug raises an excellent point re Doli Incapax. If you Google that you will see what he means.
                People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                Comment


                • #9
                  Unfortunately not, she didn't give an end year. The first time she brought it up was 2010 so between those two dates.

                  I've tried to have a look at the Doli Incapax but find it very confusing 're the changes plus not knowing anything but the ages at the start she claims it happened.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi, based on those dates,I believe Doli Incapax, would not apply. I'm sorry to say

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      If the alleged offences were supposed to have been committed when he was under 14 years then DI might apply.

                      At the moment though, he's not been charged (and may not be) so all you can do at this point is to quietly gather evidence in case he is, and sit tight.
                      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Thank you I'll mention that to the solicitor if this goes any further.
                        The paper work from the solicitor came through with a summery, it says when she first retracted upon questioning by the police on why she wasn't pursuing it she told them it didn't happen. Also the reason she brought it back up she stated because of the argument we'd had she thought she had no other choice at that point. Which is interesting because that argument wasn't related to that at all and ended in telling her we no longer wanted any contact with her and were going to to seek an injunction order against her.

                        Sorry if I seem to be going in circles actually being able to write this down and talk about it has really helped.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          You won't get any paperwork unless you are charged.
                          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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