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7 months of hell so far !

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  • 7 months of hell so far !

    8 months ago I never knew this world exited; one where every day is hard to get through as you can't not think about the nightmare for long & even when you do manage a few hours of normality, you suddenly remember and feel guilty for a few hours of relative happiness. The flashbacks are the worst; seeing my son, my pride and joy, never ever done anything wrong, never even been in a police station ; suddenly locked up on remand ; stripped of his life and dignity. It took us 4 weeks and two attempts to get bail ; just because he worked outside the UK, they said he was a flight risk !

    We've got 3 months to go ; not sure how much longer I can cope, but no choice. Scarier still is the court case . Really don't know what to expect. Lots of holes in the evidence : although they haven't given us it all yet. And the incident was so long ago, and retracted shortly after opening, it seems not much, if any investigation done at the time.

    But from reading posts it seems to boil down to who the jury believe rather than proof beyond reasonable doubt? Is that about right ?

    Anyone have a view on what to expect in court ?

    Anyone know how often we should be hearing from our solicitor and barrister ? All seems to quiet on both fronts and I really don't know if that's normal : just adding to my worry

    Any views or comments would be so welcome. Thanks
    Innocentson

  • #2
    Hi

    I've just had my trial last week and received 2 not guiltys

    I am young and my dad was probably in the same way you are. He needed sleeping tablets etc to cope. Just be strong for him. His main worries like mine will just be about the impact on others and the more he sees it affecting you the more guilty he will feel. It's hard but try and provide some kind of normality for him. Talk to him about some sport results or something you would anyway.

    Both legal sides will be quiet. Naturally you will feel your sons case is the centre of your world and the most important thing but the reality is to the prosecution he is just a number on their tick list and to the defence he is one of a number of their clients. Trust your defence team, they will know what they're doing but that doesn't mean you have to detach yourself. If you feel something needs to be raised, raise it. It's your sons freedom in question.

    Largely unless the evidence is overwhelming in either direction it will come down to whether the jury believe him. Naturally in these cases the defendants evidence is crucial. He needs to be prepared to give it fully and honestly and make eye contact with every one of the jury members without looking like he's staring them out. He's innocent and he needs to tell them that and not rely on statements and circumstantial evidence. The jury can hear statement after statement read out in court but how much of that will they take in, naturally they will judge peoples accounts when they stand in that dock. It's ok for him to be scared and nervous and people won't judge him for coming across that way, it's a massive deal to him and the jury will understand the pressure he's under. If he starts crying that's fine. Let your true and honest emotion come out. Compose yourself. Hold your head high and carry on. Makes sure he remembers at all times. I am innocent. I am innocent. This way he will be confident.

    Just remind him you are there for him and you know no matter what the truth and that's what matters.

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    • #3
      Thank you so much - drawing strength from your experience!

      Thank you again for your welcome comments ; sounds similar situation. I too am on the pills :-) never used to even take headache remedies but now I need support to function. You sound exactly like my boy in that he's very strong, knows he's completely innocent but more worried about those around him and affects on them, especially his dad ; who's not in great shape and retired , so brooding on what they are doing to his only son. Ditto me.

      It was a one night stand many years ago though & a closed case from years back, suddenly raised due a chance dna hit. It was consensual but as a young boy then, he can't remember much and had no reason to think about it, whereas she had years to concoct a story ....

      I'm really hoping the jury see through all this, as they did yours .... In the interim trying to grapple with how to defend something from out of the blue and supposedly happened way back on a student night out.

      I feel stronger having read your not guilty thread now tho : many thanks ! X
      Innocentson

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      • #4
        Trial started

        IS has asked me to let you know the trial is underway.

        After lengthy legal arguments relating to abuse of process, the trial has gone ahead.

        The complainant could not remember things and shed the obligatory tears.

        Son has now given evidence.

        Please send lots of hugs to this lovely mum.

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        • #5
          Oh my goodness, if positive vibes have any effect then please let it work for them now!
          Sending them by the bucket load!!!
          Keep strong!
          YoH

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          • #6
            Very best wishes to both of you....if you can bear to, please keep us updated....
            'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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            • #7
              Hello

              Sending you all lots of love and strength. I hope to post bananas soon

              WN
              x

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              • #8
                firstly, i know that he would really appreciate the support you are giving him and secondly, i'm just really praying all goes/gone well for son and you. Please keep us updated
                "Only True Love Can Survive This"

                -Hubby was accused - arrested in June 2015 - re-bailed December 2015 - NFA'd March 31st 2016 - SS allowed him back home to our family April 2016-

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                • #9
                  I thought it was starting next week!

                  Absolutely everything crossed here ...........
                  People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                  PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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                  • #10
                    So much positive vibes and good thoughts being sent your way. The only outcome will be the right one, which will be NOT GUILTY! Love and Luck!

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                    • #11
                      Hoping all goes well x
                      They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

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                      • #12
                        Praying for a positive outcome for you. Best of luck. Xx

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                        • #13
                          In my thought and prayers. Hoping a Not Guilty is coming your way!!!
                          Who you become while you are waiting is as important as what you are waiting for -Nicky Gumble

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                          • #14
                            Unanimous NOT GUILTY !

                            Originally posted by Lilyput View Post
                            In my thought and prayers. Hoping a Not Guilty is coming your way!!!
                            Just a quick line - more later ; after celebrations did down

                            7 day trial but Jury took less than 10 minutes to return with unanimous not guilty in both counts !
                            Can't tell you how happy and relieved we are !
                            Keep strong those of you still waiting : the truth does come out

                            Will post a day by day run down soon .. Just need to take breath again.
                            Love to all!
                            Innocentson

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by innocentson View Post
                              Just a quick line - more later ; after celebrations did down

                              7 day trial but Jury took less than 10 minutes to return with unanimous not guilty in both counts !
                              Can't tell you how happy and relieved we are !
                              Keep strong those of you still waiting : the truth does come out

                              Will post a day by day run down soon .. Just need to take breath again.
                              Love to all!
                              Fantastic!!
                              So relieved for you all.
                              Have some of these fellas!!

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