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Falsely accused of rape by ex-partner of 10 years

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  • Falsely accused of rape by ex-partner of 10 years

    Hi there everyone. Last week I got a call from a solicitor who had a restraining order to serve to me at the request of my ex - partner. We have a 9 year old and it has always been a problem seeing him. She has never let me take him home overnight or see any of my side of the family. I have been consistent with child support without court involvement as I did not want my child in the system in any way. However we have been getting along "well" for last year or so albeit all visits have been according to her terms. I have to go over to hers and spend day with my son ( and her!). She has threatened in the past to stop me from seeing my son. On the last occasion I saw her and my child, she would not let me leave her house and hid the door keys. In the end I called the police to come diffuse the situation as she had drunk a bottle of wine and was getting agitated at the fact I wanted I leave. I wanted them to let me leave peacefully. Upon arrival they arrested her for holding me hostage (against my wishes). She didn't take kindly to this and has accused me of:
    RAPE, COERCING HER FOR SEX AGAINST HER WILL
    PUNCHING & KICKING HER TILL SHE MISCARRIED
    BEATING HER UP ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS OVER 10 YEAR PERIOD
    INTIMIDATING HER
    CALLING HER DEROGATORY NAMES
    MAKING MY SON SCARED FOR HIS SAFETY

    She claimed that AnE has records of her injuries and police have the complaints. The time she miscarried before my son was born, we were told at a scan that there was no heartbeat and both cried over it. No reason was given by the doctors why she had lost the pregnancy.
    On the restraining order she says in her statement that at the time the police did not arrest me as they didn't know where I lived! On the day she got arrested she told the officers I beat her and bit her, they checked for injuries and found none and they told me of the accusation and that they don't believe her version of events. I was not arrested but allowed to go home. They asked for a statement if I wanted to press charges I said no, I told them the events of the day truthfully. She must of kept up the story with her duty brief in custody who then advised a restraining order be issued. I have to pay my legal costs as the only way I get legal aid is if I put the restraining order on her too. It's ridiculous. I have not been charged or arrested for any of her allegations or any violence on the past or present. At the 1st hearing I was asked if I challenge the order and I said yes. Next date is in a couple weeks where I have to produce my evidence. I'm very confident that there is no one shred of evidence against me. I can't explain the pressure I'm feeling. I wish I was not on this planet at times but most times I'm strong and determined to see this through. At times I wake up at night dreaming of being dragged to prison by police and can't go back to sleep.

    I'm a grown man but I cry sometimes and think why me. It's made me super paranoid about people around me and their motives. I've been encouraged by the stories on here of NFAs. Sorry if my writing is all over the place, I'm not quite myself as this happened literally a couple weeks ago. The Lord is my strength and I'm certain I will come out unscathed despite the emotional upheaval I'm going through at the moment.

  • #2
    So sorry that you've found your way here.
    It's a complicated case as is often the case in ex partner/relationship cases as they tend to span several years.
    This can make things harder to deal with and more complicated for the police to "investigate".
    I'm afraid I'm not much help with the whole "family court" scene and I'm not familiar with cases of restraining orders so i can't be much help to you.
    But we are all here to support each other through their own personal experience of the hell on earth!
    You seem to have a relatively good hold of matters and you can't beat yourself up for feeling helpless at times. Just stick to the plan you have and stay strong!
    You will get through this and come what may, this forum is a lifeline.
    It's a roller coaster ride and a half so hold on tight and prepare for the long haul!
    All the best
    YoH

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    • #3
      I'm in a similar situation mate,it's just horrible...I'm still waiting to find out if I will be charged or nfad...just keep cool,stick to ur state ment and hopefully u will be nfad
      Turn the pain into power. ::

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