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  • #16
    Originally posted by Lost and empty View Post
    Honestly just don't know what else to do, I can't sleep, eat, think, I walk around like a ghost, I feel empty and alone. I think constantly of the outcome and the effect things could have on the people I love. It's all affected me mentally as I well know and I am dealing with this, I just feel a shadow of my former self and can't see any positive outcome after reading stories.

    "And I am dealing with this".

    You are. You are ever so much stronger than you think. Hang on to that....
    People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

    PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
      "And I am dealing with this".

      You are. You are ever so much stronger than you think. Hang on to that....
      Seconded!! You are stronger than you think!
      And stop reading stories! No two cases are the same anyway!
      Do not read anymore cos it's going to do your head in!
      Keep strong! Good things will happen again. Be patient with yourself.
      You are fighting this, one day (or even hour!) at a time!

      Comment


      • #18
        hi

        Originally posted by Lost and empty View Post
        Honestly just don't know what else to do, I can't sleep, eat, think, I walk around like a ghost, I feel empty and alone. I think constantly of the outcome and the effect things could have on the people I love. It's all affected me mentally as I well know and I am dealing with this, I just feel a shadow of my former self and can't see any positive outcome after reading stories.
        Stay away from reading stories! That's when I had my dark hours, they will weaken you massively. Do you do any weight training, or go to a gym? Try that if you can, it really helps to relax the mind and body, strength is what you need right now. Hope you find something to focus on.
        Stay strong!

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        • #19
          I was once a keen fitness fanatic, I use to box but iv tried to get the motivation just to go for a run but I can't even do that, I feel a failure and now pushing my partner away because I'm afraid of losing her anyway if that makes sense. She deserves so much more and I'm not the one to give her anything.

          I am lost and totally empty with everything.

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          • #20
            hi

            Originally posted by Lost and empty View Post
            I was once a keen fitness fanatic, I use to box but iv tried to get the motivation just to go for a run but I can't even do that, I feel a failure and now pushing my partner away because I'm afraid of losing her anyway if that makes sense. She deserves so much more and I'm not the one to give her anything.

            I am lost and totally empty with everything.
            Just try shadow boxing, throw a few combinations to start with- I'm sure you can think of a few people you'd like to be on the other end! The beauty is that you can do it in the seclusion of your own home, I personally had no problem going out and about but I can understand anybody who does.

            I know it's easy to say and I'm trying not to be hypocritical because I'm much the same; but if your partner is trying to support you, then try and let her. I'm sure there's few things worse than trying to help and being pushed away!

            I'm guessing it's early days still; and most people on the forum seem to make a comeback after a few days. I want to hear you're back in training soon. Stay strong!

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            • #21
              You need the support of your partner now and she you. My man felt sooooo guilty at me being in the position I found myself in (homeless for starters!) but it's not your fault- it is the fault of the ones who have brought these accusations. And that system that allows them to do so. If it breaks you apart then they have won totally- don't let them!!
              And again, don't trawl the internet looking for possible outcomes- no two stories are the same.

              Rant and rave on here, try and have some quality time together without this awful nightmare intruding, easier said than done I know.

              Wishing you both some peace
              They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

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              • #22
                Appreciate your advice, I feel I've become distant from my partner and others as well. Iv tried training to occupy my mind but I become violently sick, I struggle with normal things at the minute and feel alone all the time.

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                • #23
                  well it's officially my birthday and I'm sat on my own constantly thinking, I'm really struggling each day now and don't see a way out. I'm becoming more distant from anyone and feel alone all the time, I know I need help but am to proud to accept it, I believe my loved ones are more better without me, I'm a constant burden on them. I only hope my son never heard of these twisted allegations and lives a normal life. Happy one at that. My partner has been a tower of strength and I only wish one day she can be happy .

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                  • #24
                    Anniversaries are always more poignant when you feel lost and alone. PLEASE get some help- pride is a useless commodity in these situations. I think your partner's happiness would be for you to fight this together and come out of the other side, battered and bruised maybe but still standing.

                    Difficult I know but be a hero for your son, a man who fought against injustice.

                    Don't push the ones who love you away.If they wanted to go, they would have left by now
                    They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

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                    • #25
                      Get help!

                      AmandaF is right, pride is useless if you're feeling like giving up.
                      You really need to swallow your pride and get help!
                      Talk to GP, they can be amazing in a crisis.
                      Do not give up.
                      We're stronger together through this nightmare and one day you'll be able to support others.
                      There is a life after this so find your strength.
                      GET HELP NOW
                      We want you!

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                      • #26
                        It is tough going through this for anyone, the first 6 months are the worst. If your feeling down or depressed then you need to get some help from your GP. Its a mixture of good days and bad, things that i have felt helped are just taking yourself out of your surroundings, get away to the coast, go see a show, or maybe see a sporting event. as a boy i used to do alot of fishing, i now go sea fishing with a friend regularly, something i hadnt done in years. But getting out of the house and doing something new is a day of rest from the worry. For the first 6 months i found it hard to focus on anything other than what had happened to me ,my mind was like a fog, my thoughts were constant over and over, this wasnt doing me any good. Now a year on im relaxed, i donrt worry ,this will come to an end one way or another, but im not afraid of anything. I answer to me and no-one else, not the police, not the courts, not other people ME. I know im innocent i was there, I answer to my own consciounce and its clear. YOU CAN DO THIS ! Its not an easy ride, ive done this with no family, just a couple of friends , I didnt see my kids for a year and a half, ive been threatened in the street and im now warry when people look at me and when im walking at night. This is a battle and i will win, I now see my kids ,I feel strong and very proud of the way ive fought this and you will too. Im not a rapist im a good person. Stay strong and give yourself some mental breaks thats the key to dealing with this. Birthdays ,Christmas there only days, put your son first do right by him and show him what sort of father he has. Good Luck

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                        • #27
                          I am recently looking for the best solicitor I can get, a lot of things point to Stuart Sutton. Could anyone who has dealt with him please advise as iv heard and read a lot of good things about him.

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                          • #28
                            I wasn't impressed with him about 10 years ago, but it's entirely possible that he has improved, so I cannot say. I don't think I've seen his name come up on here. Check out the solicitors and barristers thread under Useful Information
                            People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                            PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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                            • #29
                              What was is that you where no impressed with?
                              He deffo talks a good talk. However we want to make sure we get this right.

                              It says he's only lost 3 cases in 15 years.

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                              • #30
                                Anybody who claims to have only lost a tiny amount of cases either haven't had many, or it's just talk. Talking the talk is not walking the walk. No solicitor or barrister is in charge of the jury or the Court of Appeal


                                As I said he might have improved, who knows? At the end of the day it is entirely your choice who you pick. Whoever you do pick, I do hope they do a fab job
                                People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                                PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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