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  • Am boarderlineing suiside

    hello (ps am dislexic sry about spelling) when I was 15 I had a three sum with two girls who known Eatch other very well they were friends at the time. one of them was my next door naber

    we always got along well togther but feel out of touch you will understand why later and the other one I bearly known met her only a few times befor we sleeper togther she cryed rape a week after I sleeper with them.

    We were all under 16 at the time and sober and excited. I never forced the girls into anything and tbh I was more scared then them because it was my 1st time I was a vergin but they didn't know.

    A week after I was arrested for rape and taking to the police stashion. Nothing she said in her statement was true not even the cloths she claimed to have been wearing at the time. The only witness was my naber she was there she known am not the monster her friend made me out to be but just when things could not get any worse her mother withdrew her daughters statement I was told because she didn't want her daughter takeing to court are to be involved at all ( we were told by the police not to talk and despite her saying she wanted to stand up for me she was a miner it was her mama chose if she could clear my name or not so I don't hate her for it but I could never bring my self to call her a frejnd from that day fowerd).

    Her mother throw me to the wolfs it was my word agents hers and it felt like the police had picked a side not mine from the second I was arested I was terrified locked up in a cell for 12 hours.

    a mounth past and By the end I was never takeing to court or charged but I got a worser punishment I had lost almost every single frejnd and I had become the the target to every bully in not just my school but other schools word spread far and fast I had become a social out cast and no one wanted to be my frejnd or been seen next to me my life was destroyed.

    people don't say he was accused of rape but cleared of any charge they just point and tell there Friends he was accused of rape am disliked befor people even speak to me. I was scared to go to school I was treat like a monster people would not even sit next to me and I got bulled every single day I could not face it any more and stopped gowing to school I failed all my exsams. I stopped gowing out compleatly i had no friends and I was scared to death.

    Am 24 now I have spent years in prisond in my own home livening in fear to step out side and been livening on £100 every two weeks benefit to survive I hate my life. I have no qualifications no work exsperance I am unimployable and no income to live happly I can't even afford to leave the area and move down south to get away from this nightmare.

    I have lived alone sins I was 16 I can't go out side I can't be part of a sochial network and I can't afford any thing but struggle to survive on almost no income all I have is a cheep guitar TV and a PS3 from payday loans witch have got me in so mutch debt am better of claiming bankruptcy. am miserable she has scared me for life I don't want to live any more I can't take anufer day let alone a year of this it's what from weekly to daily debating over should I just kill my self she did more the cry rape she killed me
    Last edited by Casehardened; 18 May 2015, 04:23 PM. Reason: Split into paragraphs for easier reading

  • #2
    a mounth past and By the end I was never takeing to court or charged but I got a worser punishment Then being charged#

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi mate.

      I'm really sorry to hear about what's happened to you. That's a very crappy situation and it's obvious that it's left you with some deep emotional scars. What I can tell you for sure is that at 24 you're still a very young man and you've got all the time in the world in front of you. A lot of things change for the better during your twenties and by the time you reach thirty you'll more than likely feel a lot more balanced about your past and it will seem a lot more insignificant than it does now. I know it's hard but the key thing is to try and put it behind you and move on with your life. You have not committed a crime. You are innocent and you should not let some bullsh*t accusations from nearly 10 years ago prevent you from living a happy and fulfilling life. You deserve that.

      Have you spoken to your GP about the problems that you're having? Doctors are usually very supportive of people in these sorts of situations and if you have depression they can help you out with meds which can help you feel a little bit more balanced and make life that little bit easier. They can also refer you for counseling so that you can talk to someone about your past and try and work towards getting over what happened to you. It's hard and it takes a long time but people are there to help you and things can and will get better. If you are feeling very very down I would suggest giving the Samaritans a call on 08457 909090. At the very least consider speaking to your doctor if you haven't already, and if you are already on meds and so on then ask them for talking therapy. There's no shame in this, the vast majority of people need help from time to time. I've been there myself and I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

      Regarding education, I know as a teacher that there are loads of ways for you to get back into learning should you want to. A couple of good friends of mine left school with no GCSEs but went back to it later in life, did their GCSEs and A levels at a local college and are now at uni. Virtually every college will offer schemes of this type and they're often free. At 24 you qualify as a 'young person' and can access certain financial schemes and so on to help you do this. The admissions officer at the college will be able to help you. Your dyslexia need not be a problem either, you can do a test at the college/uni and you'll get stuff like a free laptop, audio recorder for recording lectures and possibly even a learning support worker to help you out. Think about it.

      There's a great quote by Winston Churchill that goes: "If you're going through hell, keep going". Keep that in mind, be as strong as you're able to be and ask for help. People are there to help you get through and all you need to do is ask. Be strong.
      Last edited by StressedNE; 18 May 2015, 03:25 PM. Reason: Typo

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi I needhelp

        Sorry to hear what you are going through, you have had an excellent reply from StressedNE so I haven't got much to add other than I can totally appreciate the desire to hide yourself away from the world and other people, particularly as the false allegation happened at such a young age just as you were becoming an adult.

        Maybe just taking small steps starting with a visit to the GP , will gradually help you to feel more positive. Don't let this experience define you, you can get past this

        Best wishes

        FS
        The truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it. Let it loose. It will defend itself.

        St Augustine

        Comment


        • #5
          hi

          Originally posted by Ineedhelp View Post
          hello (ps am dislexic sry about spelling) when I was 15 I had a three sum with two girls who known Eatch other very well they were friends at the time. one of them was my next door naber

          we always got along well togther but feel out of touch you will understand why later and the other one I bearly known met her only a few times befor we sleeper togther she cryed rape a week after I sleeper with them.

          We were all under 16 at the time and sober and excited. I never forced the girls into anything and tbh I was more scared then them because it was my 1st time I was a vergin but they didn't know.

          A week after I was arrested for rape and taking to the police stashion. Nothing she said in her statement was true not even the cloths she claimed to have been wearing at the time. The only witness was my naber she was there she known am not the monster her friend made me out to be but just when things could not get any worse her mother withdrew her daughters statement I was told because she didn't want her daughter takeing to court are to be involved at all ( we were told by the police not to talk and despite her saying she wanted to stand up for me she was a miner it was her mama chose if she could clear my name or not so I don't hate her for it but I could never bring my self to call her a frejnd from that day fowerd).

          Her mother throw me to the wolfs it was my word agents hers and it felt like the police had picked a side not mine from the second I was arested I was terrified locked up in a cell for 12 hours.

          a mounth past and By the end I was never takeing to court or charged but I got a worser punishment I had lost almost every single frejnd and I had become the the target to every bully in not just my school but other schools word spread far and fast I had become a social out cast and no one wanted to be my frejnd or been seen next to me my life was destroyed.

          people don't say he was accused of rape but cleared of any charge they just point and tell there Friends he was accused of rape am disliked befor people even speak to me. I was scared to go to school I was treat like a monster people would not even sit next to me and I got bulled every single day I could not face it any more and stopped gowing to school I failed all my exsams. I stopped gowing out compleatly i had no friends and I was scared to death.

          Am 24 now I have spent years in prisond in my own home livening in fear to step out side and been livening on £100 every two weeks benefit to survive I hate my life. I have no qualifications no work exsperance I am unimployable and no income to live happly I can't even afford to leave the area and move down south to get away from this nightmare.

          I have lived alone sins I was 16 I can't go out side I can't be part of a sochial network and I can't afford any thing but struggle to survive on almost no income all I have is a cheep guitar TV and a PS3 from payday loans witch have got me in so mutch debt am better of claiming bankruptcy. am miserable she has scared me for life I don't want to live any more I can't take anufer day let alone a year of this it's what from weekly to daily debating over should I just kill my self she did more the cry rape she killed me

          Hello mate,

          **** sometimes isn't it?

          Do you know my early twenties had more ups and downs than any other time of my life, mostly downs. I was very defensive and always thought everyone was trying to have a go at me. I don't know what changed. I'm a bit different to you, I had a lot of qualifications, but was thoroughly miserable. In the end I found that I was happier in manual work.

          Fate will have something good in store for you, otherwise it would never have bothered putting you on this planet in the first place!

          THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!!!!

          Dum spiro, dum spero- that's the family moto. WHILE I BREATHE, I HOPE!!!!

          Hang in there my friend, you'll find something. But to find something you need to find a way of going outside ........

          Good luck. Be strong and let us know how you get on

          Comment


          • #6
            Ineedhelp: How are you doing today bro?

            Comment


            • #7
              Hope you're doing ok.
              Please talk to us anytime you need to.
              Don't be afraid to get help!
              Sending strength.

              Comment


              • #8
                Hope you're OK! Stay strong and keep going.

                You can do this.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Mods: Could you please email this guy? I'm worried...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    He would get emailed notifications that his thread is updated, so I don't think that emailing him will make any difference. I've checked to see if us non-mods can email him but he has not allowed that facility on his account.

                    All we can do is to hope he puts in an appearance soon. It is good to see that some members are concerned about others though.
                    People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                    PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
                      He would get emailed notifications that his thread is updated, so I don't think that emailing him will make any difference. I've checked to see if us non-mods can email him but he has not allowed that facility on his account.

                      All we can do is to hope he puts in an appearance soon. It is good to see that some members are concerned about others though.
                      I'm sure I'm not the only one.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Yearsofhell and Karma have posted too. Let's hope somebody hears from him soon. I know it is worrying.
                        People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                        PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          No you're not the only one. I've been following this thread- I do get worried about members when they "disappear". This guy seems to be really suffering
                          They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Thanks Amanda. I can see this is not a person who is attention seeking but he desperately needs support. I do hope he responds to the emailed notifications
                            People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                            PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                            Comment

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