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  • #76
    Originally posted by Swirl View Post
    Being strong is what i am trying so hard to do.
    My favourite fridge magnet says that a woman is like a tea bag; no one realises how strong she is until she gets into hot water
    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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    • #77
      Swirl, I've added you as a contact so please send me a PM with your landline number so I can ring you asap
      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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      • #78
        Hi Swirl

        I know you are all over the place at the moment and it is hard to get your thoughts into place. I also know you want to make the best decision regarding a solicitor, as at the end of the day your future lies in their hands. I am going through the same as you, although slightly further down the road, so I know exactly how you are feeling, so hopefully what I am going to say will help you.

        We had a solicitor that we used, whilst my husband was on bail, but due to small insignificant things, when he was charged we knew we needed the best that we could afford. We arent made of money so knew we had to try to get Legal aid. We therefore went on the experiences and recommendations from people on this forum and can honestly say so far it was the best decision we made. We havent yet met him, but just speaking to him has put our minds at rest that we are in good hands.

        For legal aid purposes you need to have a disposable household income of less that 37,500, but you can only apply for this via a solicitor, so you need to instruct one before you find out if you are eligable.

        I know you are trying to be strong for your partner, and probably keeping your lives running as well, so maybe this is a time to show that strength, and if he doesnt want to make a decision, you do it... believe me I do not think you will get better advice than from those on this forum who have been or are going through similar hell.

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        • #79
          Whyus

          Thank you for your post, speaking to Gerry he's experienced, knows his stuff, very well recommended also.
          Our income is below that I believe, when he was on bail with duty solicitor he was informed he should get legal aid but may have to contribute,
          The duty was adamant my hubby wouldn't be charged, yet he was!
          So immediately lost faith
          We have met 2 so far and only 1 was any good but Gerry would be great.
          Just feel as he believes we aren't commited, he would now not take on our case

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          • #80
            Unfortuantly, solicitors have no greater knowledge as to who will get charged than we do .. Its very much a lottery and he police and CPS are only interested in their targets, so do not let the fact that he was charged make you lose faith.

            If Gerry is who you want, you need to speak to him and ask him if he is willing to take on your case, and not ask him advise about any other solicitors. As RF has said, he will be extremely busy and will be putting all of his efforts into defending those that have instructed him.

            We have to make a contribution towards legal aid, but this is a lot less than if we had to pay outright

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            • #81
              Thanks again, just feel I shouldn't contact anyone Until we know who to go with, but without contacting we don't know who can, who's experienced in these cases etc catch 22
              Regards

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              • #82
                We're back on that magic roundabout again......
                People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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                • #83
                  Not at all I'm just stating as it is

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                  • #84
                    Hi Swirl,

                    Have you thought of taking some time out regularly? Not talking about it all the time, not constantly worrying about it?

                    What did you do in your spare time before this happened? What do you enjoy most? Are you still doing those things?

                    After finding a decent solicitor (ours was Gerry MacDonald), one of the most important things is not to let this overwhelm your life- it's hard by you may need to force yourself out of the black cloud and back into sanity.

                    Do you like walking? Have you seen all the snowdrops around and now the daffs coming into flower? Have you stopped to listen to the bird song and observed them starting to woo their future mates and all the other wonderful things going on out there? Have you been to see a good film lately, a live band or show, sports or leisure club? Have you had a good laugh?

                    Doing any one of the above (or anything else that you enjoy and which engrosses you) on a regular basis will do you and your husband the power of good, will help you keep in touch with reality, help you keep the lid on things , help you to see things clearer and may even help your man prove his innocence.

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                    • #85
                      Originally posted by whatsgoingon? View Post
                      Hi Swirl,

                      Have you thought of taking some time out regularly? Not talking about it all the time, not constantly worrying about it?

                      What did you do in your spare time before this happened? What do you enjoy most? Are you still doing those things?

                      After finding a decent solicitor (ours was Gerry MacDonald), one of the most important things is not to let this overwhelm your life- it's hard by you may need to force yourself out of the black cloud and back into sanity.

                      Do you like walking? Have you seen all the snowdrops around and now the daffs coming into flower? Have you stopped to listen to the bird song and observed them starting to woo their future mates and all the other wonderful things going on out there? Have you been to see a good film lately, a live band or show, sports or leisure club? Have you had a good laugh?

                      Doing any one of the above (or anything else that you enjoy and which engrosses you) on a regular basis will do you and your husband the power of good, will help you keep in touch with reality, help you keep the lid on things , help you to see things clearer and may even help your man prove his innocence.
                      Great advice for anyone in this situation.

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        You beat me to it Joe!
                        People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                        PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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                        • #87
                          Hi all
                          Been reading all your posts. Just not added for a while
                          Been trying to get on with everything as best we can.
                          We have now Instructed our chosen solicitor, feel slightly better now we can let them do what they do best, help prove my partners innocence.
                          Never goes away but just trying to carry on as best we can!
                          We are aware most of these cases go to trial so trying to prepare for the long journey through this horrible ordeal that has all been caused by lies!

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