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Never ending nightmare!

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  • Never ending nightmare!

    Husband has been falsely accused of rape that allegedly took place 9 years ago.
    His life seemed to end that day.
    Claims are that between loving encounters, she was forced on 2 occasions.
    Husband denies any contact at all with the girl who was a friend of ours.
    My husband Voluntarily attended interview but not arrested.
    Solicitor attended with him.
    How serious could this be? Is he really facing 10 years if convicted?
    There's no evidence because it never happened!
    What can we do?
    Anything we should be doing while we're waiting?
    Husband on anti depressants already and not coping well at all with this.
    So glad we found this forum! Thought it was just him, but seems to be quite a frequent event!!
    Any advice?

  • #2
    Hi and welcome to the forum, though sorry you have needed to find us.

    Well done for supporting your husband through this ordeal and this will be a great help to him.

    Several members are in similar situations to yourself and be able to offer support but in the meantime there is some general advice in this link:

    http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now
    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you for this reply, that's really helpful! It's exactly what's happening!
      It's such a relief to see that someone understands. There's very little support for those Accused.
      The waiting is torture! Is NFA a very frequent occurance?
      Her family are causing a lot of trouble over this and I was wondering how much say they have in the decision to prosecute? They will be pushing for my husband to be hung drawn and quartered!
      Anyone have any experience with this?

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi, and a sorry welcome to these forums.

        I am supporting my husband through a similar situation, although ours relates to nearly 2 decades ago.

        I cant say whether NFA is a frequent occurance, my husband has unfortunatly been charged. The prosecution will be looking for any way of getting a conviction they will not be worried about any evidence that your husband can give, and in fact have been known to 'lose' information if it doesnt help them. The wait is torture, we endured nearly 10 months of being left in limbo. From my experience, you just need to be there for him, listen to him shout, support him when he is feeling low and realise that his moods are as a result of this allegation and not personal to you. You need to try to be the voice of reason, however hard it is, and help turn any negative thoughts into positive ones.

        All your husband can do at the moment is think back to the timeframe that this is said to have happened and construct a timeline of anything that he can remember, even the smallest details can help. You wont get any information about the allegation unless he is charged, so by doing this you have something to focus on and if the worse does happen at least you have something to start proving her statements wrong.

        I hope this helps.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thank you so much WhyUs.
          It's a small comfort knowing there are others out there.
          So glad to find this help.
          I'm not good myself today and it's such a struggle.
          Your advice is brilliant, I am now writing the timeline.
          So much happened that year including something that would make it impossible for him to have committed any offence, but reading through these experiences my idea of rushing down to the police station with my new "evidence" is not an option. She will then change her story.
          Really glad if that piece of advice.
          I'm quite a patient person but this is waiting is torture!
          Praying for a happy outcome for you and your family too.
          Thank you

          Comment


          • #6
            it is true that sometimes the police will 'lose' evidence. The case that got me into this business (in 2000) the OIC actually denied that my friend Rob had given her 53 pieces of hand written evidence that would cast serious doubts on the veracity of the girl's allegations.

            When we came to appeal, the CPS asked the police for this evidence; the police came back with "we have mislaid it". How on earth can they have "mislaid" evidence they claim was never given to them?!

            If an alibi is given then the police will go back to the complainant who will then say along the lines of "oh yes that's right. It was three years later. Remembering it has been traumatic hence the mistake......."

            Hubby should play his cards close to his chest. If you have written evidence that might help do not give the police originals, only give them copies.

            It is so sad that so many of us no longer have any faith in the police. Before false allegations hit people, they tend to believe that the police will properly investigate everything. Sadly they often do not.
            People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

            PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
              it is true that sometimes the police will 'lose' evidence. The case that got me into this business (in 2000) the OIC actually denied that my friend Rob had given her 53 pieces of hand written evidence that would cast serious doubts on the veracity of the girl's allegations.

              When we came to appeal, the CPS asked the police for this evidence; the police came back with "we have mislaid it". How on earth can they have "mislaid" evidence they claim was never given to them?!

              If an alibi is given then the police will go back to the complainant who will then say along the lines of "oh yes that's right. It was three years later. Remembering it has been traumatic hence the mistake......."

              Hubby should play his cards close to his chest. If you have written evidence that might help do not give the police originals, only give them copies.

              It is so sad that so many of us no longer have any faith in the police. Before false allegations hit people, they tend to believe that the police will properly investigate everything. Sadly they often do not.
              There is so much more to this story (hence Years Of Hell!!) which I can't put on a blog.
              We lost faith in the police years ago when problems with her actually started. The false allegation of rape now is another "thing" but obviously this is a huge accusation.
              Police are obliged to investigate but we are being extremely careful now especially after the excellent advice from others who have been through it. Still, you hope that now is when the police will do their job, but best not to get complacent eh?
              Thanks so much for all the posts on the forum, it's like gold!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
                it is true that sometimes the police will 'lose' evidence. The case that got me into this business (in 2000) the OIC actually denied that my friend Rob had given her 53 pieces of hand written evidence that would cast serious doubts on the veracity of the girl's allegations.

                When we came to appeal, the CPS asked the police for this evidence; the police came back with "we have mislaid it". How on earth can they have "mislaid" evidence they claim was never given to them?!

                If an alibi is given then the police will go back to the complainant who will then say along the lines of "oh yes that's right. It was three years later. Remembering it has been traumatic hence the mistake......."

                Hubby should play his cards close to his chest. If you have written evidence that might help do not give the police originals, only give them copies.

                It is so sad that so many of us no longer have any faith in the police. Before false allegations hit people, they tend to believe that the police will properly investigate everything. Sadly they often do not.

                Thanks for this RF
                We have a letter from sol who confirms hubby was released without charge but it also says:
                "Please note that following interview you were reported for summons"
                Is it time to start panicking?? That doesn't sound good?
                Does it mean they have a strong case already? Its only been one interview.
                Any advice please

                Comment


                • #9
                  Sounds like he will be at magistrates court for something. We can't say what that would be as none of us have seen the paperwork of course. The summons should come through the post and also the sol will or should get a copy. Ask the solicitor for further advice
                  People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                  PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
                    Sounds like he will be at magistrates court for something. We can't say what that would be as none of us have seen the paperwork of course. The summons should come through the post and also the sol will or should get a copy. Ask the solicitor for further advice
                    Ok thanks.
                    Solicitor has confirmed that the case has been put to the CPS who will decide if hubby will be summoned to court.
                    We are now in their hands.
                    It hits home when you get something in writing doesn't it? Struggling with it today.
                    Still can't believe its happening!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi. Yes my case has been taken to the CPS. That was 2 months ago. Don't hold your breath. My legal team said some take upto a year.
                      Sorry for bad news. Please keep me updated. Regards Steve.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Steve Hay; I've moved your other posts to a separate thread in this section.
                        Last edited by Casehardened; 15 February 2015, 06:11 AM.
                        'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Steve HAY View Post
                          Hi. Yes my case has been taken to the CPS. That was 2 months ago. Don't hold your breath. My legal team said some take upto a year.
                          Sorry for bad news. Please keep me updated. Regards Steve.
                          How are you holding up Steve?
                          The waiting is torturous. Are you holding up ok?
                          We've been completing a timeline of events at that time which has helped to remind us of what happened all those years ago. Many things we had forgotten.
                          Trying to carry on as normal but it's an uphill struggle!
                          Do you have a solicitor in the pipeline?
                          YearsOfHell

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Yearsofhell

                            Many thanks for kindest reply. Holding up ?, not very well. I don't go out. I'm not sleeping at all well. Not to mention my mental health state. Other than that I'm trying to stay on top of it. Did you read my story on the other page. Thank you so much for replying. It means a great deal.

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