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  • help this is hell!

    Hi there!

    I am nearly a week into the worse week of my life!
    I am going through a divorce and my wife has accused me of 3 counts of rape! She says that one incident took place 2 years ago but couldn't give a date or time and that another incident took place at the end of October! And another in September whilst on holiday!

    I moved out of the family home at the beginning of September as our relationship had broken down. I was under the impression it would be a trial separation with a view of seeing how things went. We were due to move in September so I was visiting home and helping to pack boxes etc. Everything seemed fine then last Friday I was arrested and held for nearly 17 hours.

    The incident 2 years ago I denied and there is nothing to back her claim that the event took place.

    The incident on holiday, she alleges that after an argument i raped her. I am also being charged with assult as during the argument is grabbed her (which I did and have admitted to).

    Now the most recent allegation took place on a Saturday. However I was at work the Saturday morning and Saturday afternoon I did go back to the house to get the front garden sorted before the move. I left at around 4 as my wife was going to her brothers to celebrate their birthday. Then on the Sunday I was back over cutting the grass at the back garden. Surely if I raped her on the Saturday she wouldn't have gone to her brothers afterwards nor have me over on the Sunday to cut the grass?! Then on the Monday I get a text to say it was over... Too much water under the bridge etc... Still no mention of any rape. She asked me not to contact her she would be in contact with me when she was ready. I did text her twice once to say I missed her and once to see how she was getting on... No reply to either. Then 10 days later the police are arresting me due to an allegation she made the same day!!

    I am currently on bail and am not allowed contact with her, and I haven't. then today she's filling for an injunction against me!

    Any advice or anybody been in the same situation?

  • #2
    Welcome though sorry you've had to find us and so sorry to read of your ordeal. Sadly, what your wife has done is not uncommon - in fact much more common than you would imagine.

    Immediate advice - screenshoot all social media posts she makes; store all text messages/emails - all electronically somewhere where plod won't get it.
    - don't talk to plod with out a solicitor present and certainly DO NOT give them anything that would help to prove your innocence or provide them with an alibi etc. because they will either "lose" it, deny they ever had it or tell your wife and allow her to change her story to render your info useless. However, if you change your story they will accuse you of lying!!!!
    - plod are not your friends - they have conviction targets to meet
    - have a look at this thread..... http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

    Keep posting and we'll help all we can MH
    "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by accused87 View Post
      Hi there!

      I am nearly a week into the worse week of my life!
      I am going through a divorce and my wife has accused me of 3 counts of rape! She says that one incident took place 2 years ago but couldn't give a date or time and that another incident took place at the end of October! And another in September whilst on holiday!

      I moved out of the family home at the beginning of September as our relationship had broken down. I was under the impression it would be a trial separation with a view of seeing how things went. We were due to move in September so I was visiting home and helping to pack boxes etc. Everything seemed fine then last Friday I was arrested and held for nearly 17 hours.

      The incident 2 years ago I denied and there is nothing to back her claim that the event took place.

      The incident on holiday, she alleges that after an argument i raped her. I am also being charged with assult as during the argument is grabbed her (which I did and have admitted to).

      Now the most recent allegation took place on a Saturday. However I was at work the Saturday morning and Saturday afternoon I did go back to the house to get the front garden sorted before the move. I left at around 4 as my wife was going to her brothers to celebrate their birthday. Then on the Sunday I was back over cutting the grass at the back garden. Surely if I raped her on the Saturday she wouldn't have gone to her brothers afterwards nor have me over on the Sunday to cut the grass?! Then on the Monday I get a text to say it was over... Too much water under the bridge etc... Still no mention of any rape. She asked me not to contact her she would be in contact with me when she was ready. I did text her twice once to say I missed her and once to see how she was getting on... No reply to either. Then 10 days later the police are arresting me due to an allegation she made the same day!!

      I am currently on bail and am not allowed contact with her, and I haven't. then today she's filling for an injunction against me!

      Any advice or anybody been in the same situation?
      Do you have children with this lady ? Are you trying to get custody of children?
      Has she found out about a affair ?

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi,

        I wonder if the motivation for your wife to suddenly make these allegations is to get assistance with her legal costs? Are you contesting the divorce or are there issues over child custody?

        http://www.divorceaid.co.uk/legal/legal-aid.htm
        'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Casehardened View Post
          Hi,

          I wonder if the motivation for your wife to suddenly make these allegations is to get assistance with her legal costs? Are you contesting the divorce or are there issues over child custody?

          http://www.divorceaid.co.uk/legal/legal-aid.htm
          No idea don't contest the divorce. I'd gladly sign the papers tomorrow! She would get legal aid as she isn't currently employed.

          The divorce would be simple as we never owned a house together nor have we any savings together so there is nothing to split.

          I'm slightly concerned as to why she is seeking an injunction when I can't already contact her due to my bail conditions. Any ideas? Should I fight this injunction? Although how can I when I'm not allowed contact?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Kjg View Post
            Do you have children with this lady ? Are you trying to get custody of children?
            Has she found out about a affair ?
            No children to fight over. We have a step child together but I wouldn't fight for them and she knows that.

            I had an affair at the beginning of out marriage which she knew about 2 years ago!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Casehardened View Post
              Hi,

              I wonder if the motivation for your wife to suddenly make these allegations is to get assistance with her legal costs? Are you contesting the divorce or are there issues over child custody?

              http://www.divorceaid.co.uk/legal/legal-aid.htm

              Exactement CH! Legal Aid has been removed from many parts of the Criminal "Justice" System. One way to get it in family/divorce cases, is to allege sexual assault.

              Be careful what you write on here as these forums can be and are viewed by members of the public, including the police.
              People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

              PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

              Comment


              • #8
                Pinched this from t'other forum - may be useful to you

                http://www.legalfutures.co.uk/latest...-referral-fees


                Extract: On the impact of the legal aid cuts more generally, Green J said “judges regularly tell stories” of wives, or occasionally husbands accusing the other of abuse to get public funding.


                “Judges then find themselves having to adjudicate upon disputes where the one partner (usually the mother) is legally aided but the allegedly abusing other partner (usually the father) is a litigant in person, and where false claims of abuse have to be pursued and persisted in by the legally aided party in order to justify their funding.


                “Hearings become fraught with emotion and take longer to resolve and therefore become more expensive to conduct. The absence of legal representation for an alleged abuser leaves open the prospect of that ‘abuser’ cross-examining the alleged victim of the abuse.


                “Judges have expressed to me their real concern that the tenuous nature of the justification for obtaining legal aid places advocates under real ‘ethical’ pressures. Fathers feel bitterly that they receive second class justice.”


                Green J said that data from the Legal Aid Agency showed that aid was provided for over 205,000 new cases in 2012/13, but only 42,800 in 2013/14.
                "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

                Comment

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