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Is there anything I could/should be doing ?

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  • Is there anything I could/should be doing ?

    Hello Everyone

    I have been falsely accused of Non Consensual Sex ( Rape ) by my partner of 9 months.

    Although we had an on off relationship we had arranged to marry at the end of July. We decided to do this as many people were against us being together and had lied about things to split us up.

    I was completely in Love and probably blinded by it as she had a colourful past ( which I only found out about when she told me 2 months into the relationship ) I in hindsight, probably should have walked then

    Anyway, I found out she had been cheating on me and we had a huge row and I smashed her phone ( text messages etc ) I was broken and we had a huge row. We both had a drink and she went off intoxicated and we had shared a spliff together too. I called the Police as I did not want her hurting herself or anyone else as I , nor she could live with that.

    She returned and went mental when I told her I had rang the Police. This was because 2 of her children who lived at the home suffered from autism and ADHD and she was worried SS may get involved. She hit me, and has done before, but got no reaction from me, nor did she the other time she had struck me.

    So I left the home and went to work the next day only to be arrested, heavy handed and taking to the Police Station. I was arrested for Criminal Damage and NCS ( rape ) I was in bits. I had lost the woman love, found out she was a cheat and arrested for the worst crime ever.

    At the station the arresting officer told the Duty Sergeant they were called to her address where upon interviewing her for criminal damage accusations, it became apparent she had been raped by me sometime in the beginning of May. Her friend was with her, the same friend she had drove too that night and who lied about things to split us up, told police that she had told her about it.

    Duty sol and CID were like old friends talking about relationships and where they had been for meals etc....duty sol said it looks like domestic but would prob be dropped or go nowhere, but because of high profile recent cases they have to follow accusations up.

    I have relocated back to the north east since this as I was not coping very well ( not eating / smoking heavily / drinking ) Also mad as it sounds I was still in shock of losing my partner.

    Well now reality has truly kicked in and although I have support from my family ( immediate ) I am totally headshot.

    Can anyone tell me if I need to return to the station I was arrested ( 2nd week oct ) or could they do the NFA / Charge or re-bail thing locally.

    Also should / could I be getting a local sol involved now.... ( I have the name of a specialist and recommended one close to me from reading posts on here )

    I have been and continue to write things down I remember.
    I also have FB screen shots which show she entered a relationship with this person she was cheating on me, 1 week after my arrest. Also other posts by her friend which show that this seems to be a joke to them.

    Any advice would be most welcomed.

    Thanks all

  • #2
    im pretty sure you have to answer bail at the station you were taken to, are you getting legal aid?

    Comment


    • #3
      Hopefully the police and CPS will realise that this is a false allegation motivated by malice.

      However you are very wise to prepare for the worst outcome and organise a defence.

      Should the matter go any further the case will be heard in the court closest to where the offence is alleged to have happened so it would be best to instruct a solicitor from that locality (legal aid won't cover travel/accommodation)

      Regarding answering bail, to add to OMG's advice, if you haven't wound the OIC up he may well rebail you by phone; or the solicitor could ring up the day before on your behalf to find out what is going to happen.
      'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you OMG / CH

        Due to the fact I have just relocated I am not in work at the moment.

        I will find out if I can get Job Seekers within 2 weeks.

        I am actively looking for work and indeed had a good interview today ( fingers crossed )

        I will redirect my looking for a solicitor to the area I will be attending court if the worst case scenario happens.

        Do you think it wise to ask for a copy of my statement ready for this or should I leave that up to my sol when I get one ?

        I will apply for Legal Aid on the advice on these forums, which says apply now or if your circumstances change it could be harder or you might have missed the boat.

        Thanks for you help and advice so far.

        Comment


        • #5
          If u haven't got a job then u will get legal aid but will defo have t be near were the court is(if t goes that fare) hopefully it will not,
          Do not expect the police to drop it coz of her mental heath, the police and cps are only interested in conviction rates.
          They are not there to help you but prove that u are guilty, they have targets to hit.

          Comment


          • #6
            her mental health

            Thanks for thoughts and advice so far.

            I was always concerned about her mental health as she has been through a lot. She also had conjunctions imposed on her sister who is evil and on one of her 6 ex husbands. These people were allowed back in her life. I obviously was very concerned about this as all I had to go on was what she had told me. This has been turned around by her saying I was controlling.

            She also was abused as a child and pretty much left to get on with life from an early age. She told me (and and says only me ) that she was raped at 14 and blamed herself. Her mother found her brother on top of her at a young age and never done anything about it.( it wasn't him who raped her ) She has been cheated on/beat up/had money stolen/ her son sexually abused by an ex she was advised not to let have access to. One of her sisters has died of a terminal illness. Her brother is now dead so I understand she would want a relationship with her sister who is really her ONLY family, although her mother is still alive. 3 of her 6 children refuse to speak to her as she has left them when moving between men and areas. She recently has had to go bankrupt.

            I have only scratched the surface of what has happened to her.

            Now you may or may not have read this and thought why did you get with this girl ? I am level headed, well though of and always worked. Never been in trouble of any kind with Police. Never even had a point on my licence.

            She even rang my ex wife and was telling her I didn't love her for years and that my son was only to try and save our relationship. She also texted my ex wife off my phone, pretending to be me, saying I wanted her back etc.......

            All of this and I still wanted to marry her and am just getting over the fact she cheated and has accused me of this.

            Luckily my Mother and Sister have been amazing, but I am worried for my Mother as she is retired and I can see this is effecting her each day.

            SORRY FOR RANT - Don't know what my point is but just had to SHOUT A BIT
            Last edited by icantevensaytheword; 14 August 2014, 10:25 AM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by icantevensaytheword View Post
              Due to the fact I have just relocated I am not in work at the moment.

              I will find out if I can get Job Seekers within 2 weeks.

              I am actively looking for work and indeed had a good interview today ( fingers crossed )

              I will redirect my looking for a solicitor to the area I will be attending court if the worst case scenario happens.

              Do you think it wise to ask for a copy of my statement ready for this or should I leave that up to my sol when I get one ?

              I will apply for Legal Aid on the advice on these forums, which says apply now or if your circumstances change it could be harder or you might have missed the boat.

              Thanks for you help and advice so far.

              You can't apply for legal aid, the solicitor does that for you if/once you are charged. If your circumstances changed and you were earning money you would have to declare it anyway so it would still affect your application.

              It's sensible to think about instructing trial sols close to where any potential trial would take place. However they can't do anything as there is no disclosure (paperwork). I'd start researching sols in the area who are experienced in these matters - don't contact them yet though.
              People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

              PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

              Comment


              • #8
                thanks RF

                I will look for sol near the court.
                My duty sol is within 200 yards of court and police station.

                Do you think it wise or indeed can I ask if they have any experience in this type of case.
                Although I am not due to appear until 13th October ( I am superstitious ) I am preparing for the worst and want to be prepared for such.

                Also a point of contact may mean I don't have to travel the 570 mile round trip just to be re bailed ?
                I would gladly travel 10 times that to hear NFA.

                Like many people on here, until you are FA'd this scenario is just what you read or hear on the news.

                I cant believe the way in which the system works. I fully understand and support real Rape should have justice and that it can ruin lives, but reading more and more on the issues, for obvious reasons, on these forums and lots of other sources, I am horrified by some of the things I am seeing. ( and obviously concerned )

                This site has already helped me so much ...... Thank you all

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by icantevensaytheword View Post
                  I will look for sol near the court.
                  My duty sol is within 200 yards of court and police station.

                  Do you think it wise or indeed can I ask if they have any experience in this type of case.


                  This site has already helped me so much ...... Thank you all

                  They may say they are when they are not. Check out their website and also Google the name of the sol with the name of the practice afterwards, to see if there are any news reports of them succeeding in similar cases
                  People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                  PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I think it is vital that you check out their experience

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
                      They may say they are when they are not. Check out their website and also Google the name of the sol with the name of the practice afterwards, to see if there are any news reports of them succeeding in similar cases
                      Should I be worried RF? I am & can't sleep!

                      I just did the above for my son's solicitor and found very little so I did it for his barrister and ended up on thelawpages.com where there were 4 cases in 2012 he had defended and 4 he had prosecuted 2011 & 2010. He seemed more successful with the prosecutions although it seemed that the defendant had pleaded guilty in the majority of cases. They were not all sexual cases - murder & gun crime too.

                      I also found him on the cps general advocate panel lists dated 23/7/14 and 14/7/14, level 4 Rape Panel, our area.

                      Thank you for taking the time to read this.

                      Cat

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Cat
                        I don't want to add to your worries but just a point to consider.

                        You say that most of the convicted pleaded guilty, as did hub to a plea bargain because of the horrendous pressure applied to him on the day. His innocence and our description of the undue pressure have been vindicated by a professional polygraph.

                        The second barrister we had, who tried to vacate the plea for us, told us it is the easiest thing in the world to persuade a defendant to plead guilty on the day. I wish we had engaged him at the start but hey ho.

                        I'm not saying that is what your legal team have done, it's just a cautionary tale.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Thanks ITJ

                          The solicitor has said from the beginning that he believes my son and the plea will be NG but I realise that the barrister may say differently and I have not met or spoken to him. It's so hard to watch from the sidelines - my son is an adult and thinks he can deal with it himself and anyway as he is innocent it will all be fine eventually. I wish I could share his optimism.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I think this is somebody else's thread? Could I ask you to post your concerns about your case on your own thread please? Saves confusion and I'm easily confused!
                            People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                            PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Bpd

                              I have been reading a lot about this recently and can not believe how it mirrors the relationship I had with my FA

                              Does anyone know of any cases where this has been used ?

                              Please see link below
                              http://bpdfamily.com/content/how-bor...onship-evolves

                              Also when reading into it,how quick she moved on and her FA.
                              I met her in a pub after a quick chat on-line. She offered me use of her car that weekend even before I knew her full real name !!!

                              Would love some thoughts on this.

                              Found a message on face book where she admits her head is a mess but loves me totally and wants to marry me and knows I will be a great stepdad....... this is 1-2 weeks after the alleged offence.... I have taken a screen photo and have it on my PC too

                              Comment

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