My story to date (17/04/2014)

[Keithkawasaki]

Well not in a million years did I think some thing like this would happen to me! I have been reading posts on here since being arrested 10 weeks ago and wanted to share my story so far as it seems a little different to most ....

None the less, my name is Keith, I'm 34 and wrapped up in a nightmare.....

I've been with my partner for around 3 years albeit with 2 breaks in between. The first because she went traveling and the second because I moved to London for 6 months.she lives with her sister and I have a small flat in town. My career has really taken off and we have been house hunting...everything was going great. My partner disclosed to me around 2 months ago that prior to us getting together she was raped by a man she worked with, the news broke my heart and my initial reactions where anger, pain and all sorts.

After a couple of weeks I managed to talk her into reporting it to the police, It felt like the right thing to do and we hoped that counselling would help. The investigation has been ongoing now for 6 months or so....

10 weeks ago the police, rather embarrassingly arrested me outside my place of work....luckily no one was in so it went un noticed. Once at the station I was questioned under caution for rape of my partner! My world was spinning!!! Bearing in mind earlier that day we had met for lunch and discussed what sofa to buy for our new place they seized my phone, iPad and work lap top that I had on me at the time

Last week the police shared information with my solicitor- effectively my partners sister and her best friend have claimed my partner declared to them that I had raped her. My partner from what we can tell is sticking to accusing the other man and the police are investigating this on the pretence that she is a vulnerable lady ( went through a period of self harm in our break up).

The police interview was weird, consisted of maybe 20mins and the relationship between me and her sister was discussed. I've never got on with her sister and we just ignore each other? They had little to discuss with me! They then asked me if I understood the meaning of rape and if I had ever raped my partner - a massive NO!

I have since had 2 rebails, on both occasions I was told the week before and given the reason in writing
Both times state unable to proceed at this stage? The OIC in charge has told me that if I could see the bigger picture I wouldn't worry and that she expects things to be resolved before I answer bail next (8 weeks)...but after reading many posts on here I now know the police arnt my friends!

I'm feeling very low with it all, scared and massively confused - it's slowly getting harder and harder to hide from my family and friends....I'm also massively concerned they will approach my employer but worst of all my bail conditions dictate I must not contact the love of my life

Any advice guys?

[is there justice?]

Hi Keith and welcome although I'm sorry you have to come here

These things seem to take an age as the police, who are not your friend as you quite rightly say, try to find anything that might incriminate you in any small way and ignore the huge obvious pieces of evidence that support your innocence.

I'm not an expert on this type of allegation but know others will help soon. Can you think of a motive for the sister to lie? Might your partner have said something when you were on a break because she was angry with you?

You haven't been charged which is good but make sure you have a sol present if the police want to 'clear a few things' with you.

The trouble with FAs is that although innocent, you want to hide it out of embarrassment which cuts you off from the support of family and good friends. If you can confide in a trusted family member, it may help you or if not, you will probably find your GP is very helpful.

I don't think the police will approach your employer at this stage depending on your work but not sure if they would if charged. Hopefully it won't come to that anyway. Keep coming here to ask questions. There are some very knowledgable people and lots of support.

[Casehardened]

Hi Keith,

As you say, an 'interesting' (in the Chinese curse sense!) case, no wonder you are getting rebails....

Last week the police shared information with my solicitor- effectively my partners sister and her best friend have claimed my partner declared to them that I had raped her. My partner from what we can tell is sticking to accusing the other man and the police are investigating this on the pretence that she is a vulnerable lady ( went through a period of self harm in our break up).

If this is correct this is hearsay rape i.e the complainant has not made her accusation against you to the police. However as the accusation has been made, even though indirectly via her sister, they are obliged in the current climate to investigate it, hence your arrest etc.

Looking at this dispassionately, the CPS have a witness who has made an allegation of rape against A but not B; if she is not prepared to make a statement against B it is unlikely that B will be prosecuted unless there was joint enterprise between A & B.

This is not a fair question to ask you to consider because of your personal involvement with the complainant but it is not a given that this was indeed rape; the other defendant's response may well be that there was consent, at least initially, and bearing in mind they worked together this is a likely scenario.

Having said all this, it is a horrible situation for you to be in and you have my sympathy....

You didn't mention whether you had a solicitor present at your first interview, and I quite understand if you didn't, but if you are asked to return for any further interviews it would be as well to do so. There are some recommendations here:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors

[Keithkawasaki]

Thank you for your reply is there justice

Hi Keith and welcome although I'm sorry you have to come here

These things seem to take an age as the police, who are not your friend as you quite rightly say, try to find anything that might incriminate you in any small way and ignore the huge obvious pieces of evidence that support your innocence.

I'm not an expert on this type of allegation but know others will help soon. Can you think of a motive for the sister to lie? Might your partner have said something when you were on a break because she was angry with you?i ask myself this every moment unfortunately after my stint on bail I'm not sure what I think, surely if she says it's not me then case dropped against me?

You haven't been charged which is good but make sure you have a sol present if the police want to 'clear a few things' with you. ok I will look out for that one

The trouble with FAs is that although innocent, you want to hide it out of embarrassment which cuts you off from the support of family and good friends. If you can confide in a trusted family member, it may help you or if not, you will probably find your GP is very helpful.

I don't think the police will approach your employer at this stage depending on your work but not sure if they would if charged. Hopefully it won't come to that anyway. Keep coming here to ask questions. There are some very knowledgable people and lots of support.

[Keithkawasaki]

Hi case hardened ,

That's given me other ways of looking at things,

Hi Keith,

As you say, an 'interesting' (in the Chinese curse sense!) case, no wonder you are getting rebails....
with rebails, are they allowed to keep just doing so or do the police have to justify their actions and the need to use bail? Unable to proceed to me sounds like a very broad statment!


If this is correct this is hearsay rape i.e the complainant has not made her accusation against you to the police. However as the accusation has been made, even though indirectly via her sister, they are obliged in the current climate to investigate it, hence your arrest etc.

Looking at this dispassionately, the CPS have a witness who has made an allegation of rape against A but not B; if she is not prepared to make a statement against B it is unlikely that B will be prosecuted unless there was joint enterprise between A & B.i have literally no connection with this other man, I know his name but couldn't pick him out of a crowd and live 40 miles away :/

This is not a fair question to ask you to consider because of your personal involvement with the complainant but it is not a given that this was indeed rape; the other defendant's response may well be that there was consent, at least initially, and bearing in mind they worked together this is a likely scenario.

Having said all this, it is a horrible situation for you to be in and you have my sympathy....

You didn't mention whether you had a solicitor present at your first interview, and I quite understand if you didn't, but if you are asked to return for any further interviews it would be as well to do so. There are some recommendations here:i didn't know, I now realise what an error on my behalf this was! I've never been in trouble with the police before. I will check them out so thank you

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors

[Casehardened]

KK,

with rebails, are they allowed to keep just doing so or do the police have to justify their actions and the need to use bail? Unable to proceed to me sounds like a very broad statement!


sadly and surprisingly there is no time limit for being on bail specified in PACE; there is a great variation in members experiences for this though 10 months seems to be about the maximum.

[Keithkawasaki]

KK,

with rebails, are they allowed to keep just doing so or do the police have to justify their actions and the need to use bail? Unable to proceed to me sounds like a very broad statement!


sadly and surprisingly there is no time limit for being on bail specified in PACE; there is a great variation in members experiences for this though 10 months seems to be about the maximum.

That's not good!

I'm trying to stay in good spirits, but it's really wearing me down... It's constantly on my mind.

I guess I'll have to be patient and wait for my next bail date

[lawlessone2009]

What's your partners actual words on the subject?

Has she said anything to the Police?

[IRB777]

Your story is very similar to my own Keith. It is very posible your partner suffers from BPD Borderline Personality Disorder, you need to research this on the internet , type Borderline personality disorder evolution of a relationship as a search. And BPD false accusations. I myself was with my partner 12 years we have 3 children i have been on bail for rape for 7 months now without charge, my partner made accusations of sexual assault against someone at work, (not reported to police) she has a history of self harming since childhood. Scars on her wrists she did with a compass as a child have been reported to police as cigarette burns that i am supposed to have done. Forget this woman she is past hope. Free yourself of these allegations ,it sounds like your defence is strong due to the allegation of someone else, stay strong and dont worry. Good luck

[thisisinsane]

Hi Keith, i understand how much you must be suffering at the moment not being able to contact her and ask her whats going on.
Its probably the worst for you at the moment. It may help to keep a journal or a kind of diary where you can write down your thoughts and feelings.

I was suggested to keep a fact journal where you write down everything that happened, e.g. questions you were asked, people who confronted you, things your sol said, actions police took.
It will help you remember everything better IF it comes to a trial. After a couple of months i experienced trouble remembering the exact order of events so i really think this is helpful, and maybe can help you cope.

Stay strong

[Keithkawasaki]

Evening all,

Just wanted to leave an update for anyone reading this,

Still a few weeks before I answer bail, my solicitor has confirmed that my partner has not made a statement against me. The OIC has given him full disclosure, they are "investigating a claim from just her sister now (unsure what happened to her friends statement), they are concerned my partner may be vulnerable.

I have also spoken to the OIC who tells me I have nothing to worry about and things need to run their course...these people are certainly in no rush to help me!

I still haven't really told anyone about this, other than my best friend and my PA. My PA is some one I wasn't planning on telling, after a few drinks one night we grabbed some food and she asked why I had been so weird lately...to cut a long story short she's been amazing and a life saver all in one.

My partner turned up at my office the other day (our anniversary) I wasn't there and my PA diffused the situation sending her on her way before she could catch anyone's attention.

She did however leave me a letter detailing everything she had done recently to try and lift my bail, also saying that she loves me and can't wait for our holiday later this year!

And back to the waiting game ....

[Faith]

Those are some fairly positive developments. The waiting in limbo is undoubtedly the hardest part.
Look after yourself, it's a slow process but things seem to be heading in a decent direction.