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  • Confused.... Don't know where to turn.

    Hi everyone. My 'story' is a complicated one but I really need help and some support. Ill start at the beginning.

    I was raped in 2011.

    I had a boyfriend, 2 great kids and a pretty good life. Then one day I forgot to lock my door, HE walked in and raped me while I was asleep on the sofa. I did not know the man. I was terrified that if I shouted out or struggled that my kids would wake or he would hurt them. I just let him carry on and just laid with my eyes closed, crying. He beat me around the head and threatened to kill my kids if I told anyone.

    After he left I just laid there trying to understand what the hell happened. I bathed, wiped down the sofa and sat outside of my kids room all night. (And did for weeks after)

    I was a mess, not coping, didn't want anyone to know as I lived in a tiny village, couldn't tell my boyfriend, it was awful. I eventually told a health worker and she went and told social services who basically threatened to take my kids away if I didn't tell the police.

    So I did...

    1month later he came back. This time in daylight, he said he'd heard I'd been talking and was going to show me a lesson. He cut off my hair and smushed my head into a wall. I didn't want to call the police as I just thought what would he do next? I believe he was an addict as he just looked a mess. I saw his face this time.
    The next day I went to the hospital as ever since he hurt my head I'd had pain and my eye was blurry. I lied and told the hospital I'd fallen down the stairs. I was shaking and crying, they knew something was wrong and after they question me i broke down, I explained that I didn't want the police to know as I was terrrified. They persuaded me to contact them and they called on my behalf. They were great. Shame the same couldn't be said for the police that came, the barged in the room and accused me of making it all up, saying I had issues and was a nutter. A nurse witnessed this. I couldn't go back to my house and just upped and left. After a few weeks and forensics etc I was told that they didn't believe me as "it just wouldn't happen" and I was told if they could have found a reason for me to do it they would have charged me with wasting police time.

    My boyfriend left me as the police told him about the rape against my wishes, I had to move away with my children with only a bed, my children had to move from an amazing school to a rubbish one. One of the detectives decided to come to speak to me about being raped when my children were in the room.


    Then... A few months after that I met a lovely man. A true gent. I'd told him about the bad thing and he was wonderful and let me go at my own pace. He told me about himself and explained that he had a son that his ex won't let him see, understandably I was wary and he offered for me to see all the documents (court, solicited etc) from these documents I realised she was one of those women that's got a screw loose.
    She started off by denying hubby was his dad. Once it was proven he was she then said that hubby abused him, again it was proven that it didn't happen. Then he got supervised contact via social services, every time he saw him she would complain that son had said daddy touched me, daddy stuck his finger in me etc. it never happened. The social worker was there the whole time, at no point was he alone with his son. we got married...... The day after there was a 'anonymous' call to SS saying hubby had told a friend that he wanted custody of son so he could 'touch his penis and bottom' there was a massive investigation which SS stated that my hubby didn't touch son.. He got every other weekend and half holidays in court (we live 100miles from son, the judge offered more time but it wasn't possible with trains ect) he also told ex she had to meet us halfway. She was furious.
    There has been countless accusations of us harassing her and beating son etc, she is a nutter. It's so bad that hubby never went to pick son up alone as she would make things up, it's been reported that myself and my children have been involved in abusing son too... None of it ever happened, we just ignored her and moved on.

    Last week my hubby got arrested for the rape of ex when they were together 4 years ago. She has now decided that hubby raped her, tortued her, tried to poison her, tried to drown her, him and his sister used her as a sex slave while a child watched on... Oh god, so many things. Obviously I don't know what went on him their relationship but I do know my hubby, he just isn't like that, I also know that there is a huge amount she has said that is lies as it concerned me and my family and my hubby now such as he is harassing her and he attacked her when he went to pick up his son. (I was with him, I think I would remember)

    All this has started nightmares about what's happened to me. I 100% trust hubby but I've been distant, it's because of the nightmares but he thinks its because I don't believe him. I just don't know what to do. We cannot afford a solicitor to fight for son due to legal aid being stopped so hubby is trying to fight to see his son as well as these other charges. I'm lost as to what I can do. I'm also angry that this thing seems to have all this support even though it never happened and she is a proven fantasist (she claimed to have cancer and only 3 months to live) but I get called a liar and it did actually happen to me. I'm stressed, can't sleep, over eating and I actually want to beat this woman to death for causing this. I don't know what to do or where to go..

  • #2
    Hi again.....it must have taken you a lot of courage to write this - a truly horrendous series of events. I've posted lots of stuff which will help on your other thread.
    However , with regard to what you've written here, it sounds to me as though you have some of the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (lots of info on the net). again I would strongly urge you to visit your GP. If you can't bring yourself to tell him/her this story, paste it onto a Word document, print it off and take it with you for them to read....
    I can fully appreciate how you feel towards this woman, I would guard against saying what you would like to do or happen to her. This is an open forum and anyone can read it including plod. It may be an idea to as one of the moderators _Faith, casehardened or RFLH to edit that bit out of your post...
    Keep strong and be true to yourself and your lovely hubby. You are both at the start of a potentially long, but traumatic journey and we will help you all we can........MH
    "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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    • #3
      We cannot afford a solicitor to fight for son due to legal aid being stopped
      Legal Aid isn't being stopped - there are proposed changes. Everyone is entitled to legal aid but it is means tested - how much you get and how much you have to pay back and when etc..... have a look at this link...there are others, I just googled "Can I get legal aid?"

      https://www.gov.uk/legal-aid/overview
      "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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