my patners trial starts tomoorow

[worriedgirl]

feeling stressed

I've been feeling quite stressed lately not looking forward to taking the kids back to school next week as I have found out from a good friend that the school gossip now knows about the accusation against my partner as she tried to tell her all about it. I'm now completely paranoid that everyone must know and that our family will be the talk of the playground and worried that people will assume he is guilty. I know my friend will stand by me and that's a relief I'm hoping my other friends who do not know the situation will not turn away from me for not telling them. my partners struggling with being out of work its been 10 months since he was made redundant and doesn't know if he would be employed with this hanging over him and now the trials not till march its so long for him to be unemployed he is signed off work for depression by his doctor but part of the reason he is depressed is not being able to work.

[can it get worse]

I've been feeling quite stressed lately not looking forward to taking the kids back to school next week as I have found out from a good friend that the school gossip now knows about the accusation against my partner as she tried to tell her all about it. I'm now completely paranoid that everyone must know and that our family will be the talk of the playground and worried that people will assume he is guilty. I know my friend will stand by me and that's a relief I'm hoping my other friends who do not know the situation will not turn away from me for not telling them. my partners struggling with being out of work its been 10 months since he was made redundant and doesn't know if he would be employed with this hanging over him and now the trials not till march its so long for him to be unemployed he is signed off work for depression by his doctor but part of the reason he is depressed is not being able to work.

Oh ...so sorry for you WG... All this hanging over you & now the gossip. In reality, you have bigger things to worry about but you seem like me & probably most women, in that we have all these added worries. It is sometimes just too much to take. Please try to overcome this and rise above it - it is very possible that these other people will not think bad of you at all. Please keep your chin up and I hope you will receive comfort from us on here who provide a tiny bit of support.

[cantgiveup]

I've been feeling quite stressed lately not looking forward to taking the kids back to school next week as I have found out from a good friend that the school gossip now knows about the accusation against my partner as she tried to tell her all about it. I'm now completely paranoid that everyone must know and that our family will be the talk of the playground and worried that people will assume he is guilty. I know my friend will stand by me and that's a relief I'm hoping my other friends who do not know the situation will not turn away from me for not telling them. my partners struggling with being out of work its been 10 months since he was made redundant and doesn't know if he would be employed with this hanging over him and now the trials not till march its so long for him to be unemployed he is signed off work for depression by his doctor but part of the reason he is depressed is not being able to work.

Hi worriedgirl,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so stressed out, try and remember that the feelings you are experiencing are completely understandable under the circumstances and it is ok to feel like that, the important thing is how you cope with it. The thing is we all want to be liked, and we expect people to treat us as we would them...unfortunately this is not the case. I have spent a few months hiding myself away, going to the shop at obscure times to try and avoid bumping in to people and it just doesn't work. Hold your head high, believe in your knowledge of the truth and remember only to value the opinions of those who matter and right now that certainly is not the school gossip.

We have been back to school for a few weeks and it has been fine...so much time as passed and I think people, like I would have previously, believe that if there was any truth then something would have happened by now. Things are still tough, I still do not enjoy the school run, but i am trying to brazen it out, generally if you give a bright smile and hello people do not have much choice but reply in the same manner, keep chat to small talk and stay close by to your good friend, she can give you the courage to face it.

Good luck, it wont be as bad as you imagine!!!

CGU xxx

[can it get worse]

Hi WG, How did the school run go?

Hope it wasn't too bad for you.

[worriedgirl]

hi CIGW,
I haven't had to do it yet as today was an inset day so my daughter first day back tomorrow I'm feeling ok about it thinking positive that it wont be as bad as I imagine I will let you know tomorrow.

[worriedgirl]

First school run today went ok I just smiled and chat to the people I normally do everyone seemed to be acting normal around me so wasn't as I imagined it would be. bumped into the mum who had heard about my partners accusations on the way home and managed to act normal and make small talk she didn't say anything about what she's heard. so I feel quite good today and should sleep better tonight. thanks for everyone's support

[frightened spouse]

Hi WG glad you got over that hurdle, the first day back is always the most worrying.

Just wondered how supportive school/nursery have been of you and your children as this has been going on for such a long time for you. I honestly believe that if I hadn't made a point of going to see the headteachers, absolutely nothing would have been said.

In fact none of them have been in touch since May which I find astounding given the impact on the family and potentially the children's welfare. The nurse who oversees my daugther's care couldn't believe the lack of interest or concern from my children's schools, I know she doesn't really need to make the regular home visits she does ( my daughter is fine) , but she says she does it to support me as I am integral to my daughter's care which is really lovely of her but it seems she is the exception rather than the rule. I'm not advocating schools bearing down on us scrutinising every move, just a phone call every half term would be nice.

Best wishes and virtual hugs

FS

[worriedgirl]

my daughter was at nursery when it all started and I went and spoke to them about the situation as I was worried about the effect on my daughter not seeing her dad at home they were very good and supportive and attended the child in need meetings and I felt happy to talk to them and didn't feel judged and me and my partner and the kids attended many social events at the nursery together. my son started there as my daughter left to start school and carried on the support with him as well. when my daughter started school nothing was said to start with I knew the school was aware of the child in need plan through social services but know one spoke to me about it until the social worker came to see me and said the school had contacted them with concerns about my daughter being clingy with her teacher after returning after Christmas hols. so I went and saw the head teacher to ask why no one had told me about these concerns and we talked about the situation which she knew very little about and ever since she has been very supportive. I do agree with you that the school should be in touch with you even to just reassure you the kids are doing ok in such a difficult situation.
best wishes WG

[can it get worse]

Hi WG,

So glad your day went well and not as you anticipated. That is encouraging for you. It is so very hard when SS are involved. We go over & over our own situation and it feels so unfair. We have put our everything in to raising our children and then find ourselves in this shocking situation where we feel powerless in being able to control it.

Sleep well tonight & take care....

[worriedgirl]

trial 3 weeks away

hi everyone haven't been here for awhile after the postponement have been trying to live an as normal life as possible and not think about what is going to happen.But trial is now 3 weeks away and all the dread and emotions are starting to kick in and writing it down helps me let some of my worry out. My partner is starting to get anxious too so I know I need to be strong for him and the kids. We just need it all to be over and pray we get the right outcome the trial could go on for 4 weeks so its going to be tough doing everyday things with all that happening I don't know how I will hold it together.
Worriedgirl

[edinguy]

hi everyone haven't been here for awhile after the postponement have been trying to live an as normal life as possible and not think about what is going to happen.But trial is now 3 weeks away and all the dread and emotions are starting to kick in and writing it down helps me let some of my worry out. My partner is starting to get anxious too so I know I need to be strong for him and the kids. We just need it all to be over and pray we get the right outcome the trial could go on for 4 weeks so its going to be tough doing everyday things with all that happening I don't know how I will hold it together.
Worriedgirl

Hope you are holding up well, for me personally the waiting before the trial was the worst part as it was all I could think about.

4 weeks eh that's horrible, mine was only 5 days spread over two weeks and I thought that was bad enough.

Head kept high time now.

[is there justice?]

WG

Thinking of you both as you prepare for trial and hoping justice will win the day.

It's an awful nightmare to try and cope with but getting the trial over with will let you move on from this cruel limbo xx

[worriedgirl]

Thank you yes we have waited so long for this trial now so close just need to get through this and hopefully start getting on with our lives without this hanging over us. thanks for the support.

[myhome]

Hi WG - this is possibly going to be a very long 7 weeks for you. Have you managed to plan a lot of different things to do during this time so that you have things other than the trial to focus on? keep posting and we'll be right here for you....

[worriedgirl]

Thank you I hadn't even thought about planning anything but I will give it some thought and try and find things to keep my mind busy