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my patners trial starts tomoorow

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  • #16
    [QUOTE=can it get worse;42772]
    This horrible waiting seems to be typical for all people in these situations. I would never really have described myself as strong & hate every minute of this. But we have no choice but to stay strong and carry on. Your children will get you thru this and you have no option but to focus on them and praise yourself greatly for each day.

    thanks CIGW totally agree never thought I could get this far but have found the strength from somewhere for my kids and partner. will keep going even though wish it would be over. Luckily I have a supportive family and a close friend who has been a rock for me.

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    • #17
      I've been having trouble sleeping everything running through my mind. trying to work out why all this is happening. Was hoping my partner would be able to live with us again but doesn't look like it will be easy to get social services to change our contact agreement they have there own procedures. Nothing is simple.Trying to stay positive.

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      • #18
        try keeping a notebook by your bed so you can write your thoughts down when they invade - this gets them out of your head and you then won't lie awake going over and over and keep worrying you won't remember them in the morning. I have found a sachet of dried lavender and hops by my pillow very calming....
        "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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        • #19
          Thanks myhome sounds like a good idea ill give both things a try.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by worriedgirl View Post
            Thanks myhome sounds like a good idea ill give both things a try.
            Hi worried girl sorry to hear about your case you and your partner have obviously been through so much over such a prolonged period of time, I can't even imagine how hard it's been.

            I was unable to sleep for more than a couple of hours a night during the two weeks after the FA was made against my husband. In the end I called the 101 service and was prescribed sleeping tablets. I was given quite a high dose but decided to take only half. After a month or so I stopped taking them as I was worried about becoming dependant and I have pretty much managed since without them but I know they are there if I need them in the future.

            I know medication is not for everyone but I don't know how I would have managed without them . It's not an ideal solution but they helped me get 6 hours or so unbroken sleep so I was able to manage looking after my children.

            Take Care
            The truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it. Let it loose. It will defend itself.

            St Augustine

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            • #21
              Originally posted by worriedgirl View Post
              Not had a good day today my partner attended his first day of trial only for it now to be postponed until march as one of the key witnesses for the other person on trial is no longer able to give evidence for health reasons. so disappointing thought we were at the last hurdle. One positive is the judge changed his bail conditions so he can now live with us as long as he is always supervised by me with the children although before he moves in we've got to get social services to agree and change our contact agreement. I feel so down by the time march comes this will have been hanging over us for 3yrs feels like it will never be over. Thanks for everyone's kind words and advice it is much appreciated.
              Hey,

              It appears that your partner is suffering from 'delay' in so far as the trial is concerned. It is positively encouraging that the delay is not anything to do with him. Have you guys sought the opinion of your legal representative as to what can be done about the delay?

              It seems to me that it is an unduly LONG delay. Your partner has a RIGHT to a fair trial within a reasonable time. There could well be scope for a legal argument now as to what constitutes a 'reasonable time' as it would be my opinion that the delay is lengthly and unreasonable. English law is remarkably different from Scots law but both are governed, ultimately, by the European Convention on Human Rights falling under Article 6:

              http://www.hri.org/docs/ECHR50.html

              and in England, Human Rights Act 1998 (same apart from 2 sections are missing):

              http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1998/42/contents


              There is also scope within:

              http://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2.../contents/made

              Now, please understand that there are literally thousands of appeals within the system and a lot of them are directed towards the very situation that your partner finds himself in. It would be for a learned legal practitioner to state your partners position, I am merely providing a little info for your reading. I wouldn't know where to begin with finding relevant case law with regards to the law in England & Wales, could be something else for you to attempt to find?
              Wow... A signature option!

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              • #22
                A three year wait based on a statement only....

                I have only been on bail since may..my heart really goes out to you...

                You might not be In prison at this time, but waiting for an answer is such stress and worry...I strongly believe for someone having to wait 3 years should be shown compassion if the worst was to happen...

                Good luck to you and your husband.

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                • #23
                  [QUOTE=lawlessone2009;42936)Hey,

                  It appears that your partner is suffering from 'delay' in so far as the trial is concerned. It is positively encouraging that the delay is not anything to do with him. Have you guys sought the opinion of your legal representative as to what can be done about the delay?

                  It seems to me that it is an unduly LONG delay. Your partner has a RIGHT to a fair trial within a reasonable time. There could well be scope for a legal argument now as to what constitutes a 'reasonable time' as it would be my opinion that the delay is lengthly and unreasonable.[/QUOTE]


                  GOOd point! Go for it!

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Innocentguy1983 View Post
                    A three year wait based on a statement only....

                    I have only been on bail since may..my heart really goes out to you...

                    You might not be In prison at this time, but waiting for an answer is such stress and worry...I strongly believe for someone having to wait 3 years should be shown compassion if the worst was to happen...

                    Good luck to you and your husband.
                    If you replace 'compassion' with 'remedy' then you're on the mark...

                    Part of the 'remedy' for a lengthly period of time passing is for a reduction in sentencing. The other remedy can be 'expedited' (quickened) proceedings.
                    Wow... A signature option!

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                    • #25
                      thanks for all the comments and advice I think we will do some research and talk to his solicitor. but I think them setting the new date for march was down to available court time as it is predicted to be a 4 week trial and having all the witnesses available.

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by worriedgirl View Post
                        thanks for all the comments and advice I think we will do some research and talk to his solicitor. but I think them setting the new date for march was down to available court time as it is predicted to be a 4 week trial and having all the witnesses available.
                        In Scotland there is specific appeal court decisions about 'pressures of court business' and these were held to be 'no excuse' for delay.

                        As far as I am led to believe the prosecution are supposed to do the allocation of cases within available slots in the chosen court with considerations given for any trial 'overlap' (previous case going on a bit and so delaying start of next). A four week trial is an extremely long trial and should stick out like a sore thumb when it comes to planning. It appears that they've merely thought 'bugger it, we'll stick it in for March...'

                        What happens in March when there are further delays?

                        Why are you and your partner being made to wait such a lengthly time in the interim? An extension of 'uncertainty'.

                        If the trial was over, say, today and heaven forbid it went the wrong way then by the time March arrives your partner could be well into a sentence. He (as well as you) isn't suffering much less than a convicted person at the moment except potentially having the bonus of liberty BUT a convicted person has the certainty of their situation, you guys don't.

                        It could be argued that you and your partner are being held in limbo at the whims of the prosecution. Your lives are at a standstill whilst they are running around focusing on their own little superiority complex. A four week trial is not something that has little importance and is certainly not something they should be kicking into the wilderness. They should have a 'priority' list of trials and you guys should be taking precedence, unfortunately.
                        Wow... A signature option!

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                        • #27
                          thank you lawlessone for all your advice it is definitely the uncertainty that is the worst. Some good news today social services have agreed to my partner moving back home just have to wait for them to write up our new agreement and all sign it so by next week we will have some normality back in our lives and the children will be happier and we don't have to pretend he's at work anymore.

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                          • #28
                            Really pleased to hear your good news, this is a really positive step
                            The truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it. Let it loose. It will defend itself.

                            St Augustine

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                            • #29
                              Hey there that's great news and will make the waiting a lot easier to bear....
                              "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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                              • #30
                                That's great news!

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