2 days Into this hell.......

[can it get worse]

Fantastic news GB - this has brought tears of joy to my eyes. How fabulous for you.

Your children can now flourish in the security of your care.

And very well done to you..... and your team. It's through your sheer determination that has brought this proper outcome.

I eagerly await your update on family life.

Bestest Wishes.

[Ghost biscuit]

Hi Everyone,

Thank you for the dancing bananas I like them. Thank you for replying. Boards like this have helped a lot. I will of course update on family life. At the minute I still feel like I am going to wake up and this will be a dream so roll Saturday. I will still of course be here for any one that needs advice or an ear to listen to them.

Regards,

Ghost....B

[phoenix2014]

Well done,just shows what determination can do.

[myhome]

Excellent news - dogged determination really worked for you

[Ghost biscuit]

Hello Every One,

Hello and happy new year to all of you......

Right i have not been on this forum for wells ages and ages now. The last time I was on here the children were to return home. That did not happen. To cut a long story short my ex ended up with the chidren in Scotland. I had acces to my daughter but not my son. Manipulation etc. Evrything was going ok for a few months last year over night stays. I did not have her on a couple of occasion but I informed her car trouble. Me in England them in Scotland.... Anyway

I got a text out the blue off ex stating that I couldnt see my daughter. That was it no explanation. I phoned SS told that daughter was at camhs stating scared of me didnt want to see me. I explanied that this was manipulation from mum. anyway my daugheter said she wanted to kill herslef she was 11 at the time 12 next week. There was a meeting with the childrens reporter over concerns with me and my daughter and all access was cut off. This is is after two years in the English for me to have acces to records and over night stays.
the reason why I was not allowed direct or indirect contact with my daughter. I was shocked that they undone 2 years of fig hting in the english courts. I decided that if this is what my daughter wanted then i will stand by her decison and not be in contact unless she want me to be. I informed SS of my decision and they said ok.

Anyway 21st December I recieved an email from my daughter now this is my daughter who is scared of me and doesnt want to know me in her email it states:
That she does not want to live and wants me to help her and states she wants to COME HOME she even stated who her SS was and her home address that was her exact words.

Even though I was not allowed to have any contact with her I replied. Mainly to let her know I was still here for her. I phoned the police and asked them to check on her etc. They said she was fine and gave her advice who she can talk to if she needs to. The SS did not seem concerned by the email.

Today 09/01/2016 I came home to a letter from SS stating:

I am writing to advise you that telephone contact has been attempted to inform you of your damughters circumstances, however these attemps have been unsuccessful.
Your daughter was received into care on the 24th December 2015.Accordingly your daughter will continue to be subject to compulsory measures of supervision and subject to SS councils looked after procedures, to review your daughters care plan.
If you would like to articulate your views in relation to your daughters circumstances, please write to us.

I am now all over the place. I have no idea what the hell that means.Have I lost my daughter to SS? Is she now losted to the care system? Can she come home? If anyone has any ideas please advise.

I will not find out any information till Monday.

I am working so is my partner so legal aid is out of the question.

Thanks for reading

Regards,

Ghost Biscuit....

[Shah]

I have not read the whole thread but I hope things are not as bad as they sound. I am so sorry about what's happened.

Good luck!

[can it get worse]

hi GB - It was such a nice surprise to see you on here again but then when I read your post - my jaw dropped open.

Have got some further details today about what's been going on?

I hope that your determination will continue to shine as it has done previously.

Sending you every best wishes.

[AmandaF]

Just to echo the above- I hope you got some clarification about all this.

Keep us posted

[Ghost biscuit]

Thanks can it get worse

Hi

No I phoned the SS in Scotland and they said I am not allowed any information because my daughhter does not want me to know anything. Smells of BS to me. So I am at a loss.

Thanks

Ghost....B

[Chapelhill]

Excellent Solicitor

Hi and sorry to hear what your going through. Try Roger Alanson from Alanson's in Bolton really nice guy on the ball and a fantastic solicitor too. Doesn't do legal aid anymore unfortunately

[Ghost biscuit]

Edbs

Hi everyone

There has been a lot of positives in my life since I was NFA anyway I will go into brief detail tonight when I finish work.
Just a quickie I've been accepted for a job as a senior support worker the only issue is my edbs in just waiting for it to come back to see if it shows on there. I went for this job because I said to my partner I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Also was hoping anyone else had issues after been nfa for rape did this show up in the soft information. I'm wanting to work with adults.

Regards

Ghost Biscuit....

[Cat]

Hi everyone

There has been a lot of positives in my life since I was NFA anyway I will go into brief detail tonight when I finish work.
Just a quickie I've been accepted for a job as a senior support worker the only issue is my edbs in just waiting for it to come back to see if it shows on there. I went for this job because I said to my partner I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Also was hoping anyone else had issues after been nfa for rape did this show up in the soft information. I'm wanting to work with adults.

Regards

Ghost Biscuit....

Hi Ghost Biscuit

I hope it all goes well for you. My son went to court and got found NG, he now works for NHS and has a clean enhanced DBS. Good luck!

[Ghost biscuit]

Update

Hi Cat and everyone else,

Cat your son actually went to court and was found not guilty, by the way fantastic result. I was NFA'D so maybe that's different so it may show on my soft information. The role I have been offered is for the role of a support worker /senior depending. This all depends on my EDBS. I have filled ofF the information took about 2 minutes no biggy. I think it takes around 6 weeks plus. Does anyone on here who has been NFA'D for rape and have completed an EDBS was the allegation on the soft information part? Any info on this would be really appreciated.

Right here goes from my last post it was about the children and not seeing them. Well things have changed slightly. My children are both in different care homes and do not speak to each other. Their mum whom I refer to as X has split up with her husband. He has moved back to England X is still in Scotland. My daughter has a new SW and this SW unlike the last one actually has a family. I do have a guy from FNF in Scotland helping me get my daughter back home. My daughter has for so long not wanted to know me nor my son. However I decided to phone the SW every Friday to see how my daughter is doing and progressing and she has been nothing but nice to me unlike the other one.

My daughter has only up until recently opened up to her. Let me explain up until a couple of months ago my daughter resisted talking to the new SW. My court order in England is for contact etc. This has not been revoked in the UK. However as I've explained in previous text in Scotland the system for children is totally different. An order was made for me to have no contact be it direct or indirect absolutely no contact that was the order of the children's reporter in Scotland mainly because my daughter is of the age to have a say.

Right since then the SW says that they now have evidence that basically X has emotionally abused and neglected my daughter and son views in various different ways. SW a few weeks ago sat down with my daughter and had to tell her the truth about her mum that basically X has lied to her about me. My daughter took a deep breath and said she knows as she has been thinking a lot about what has been going on. SW said my daughter felt relieved that the thoughts she had about her mum were right and the SW kind of confirmed what my daughter was thinking. BOOM.

So my daughter now wants contact with me. The SW said she does not want my daughter in care and is looking to move my daughter out of care and has discussed with my daughter long term plans for her living arrangements. My daughter has said that she would like me to be assessed so she can move back home. My son still wants no contact but will concentrate on him once my daughter comes home if that's the decision made. I have to have assessments done etc. but unless there is a risk she should be home this year maybe early next year.

I have not ever given up and always made sure I was in the know as much as I was allowed with my daughter and son. It has been hard but now I am beginning to smile. I still have emotional issues because of the FA against me but they have now eased off a lot. However I am trying to work on the damage its has caused and this is after a couple of years that have passed. I do have a full time job however like I've said have been offered the other job subject my EDBS. I will be leaving this job on Friday as I am unable to face going in due to things going on at work. I am happy that I am now going to be a dad once again to my daughter. I do have older children but do not live with me but I enjoy a good relationship with them and they both supported through this ordeal. Its going to take time to be assessed etc. but I've waited this long a few more months is not going to matter.

So for everyone that's is starting this long, crazy, emotional and truly surreal part of your lives; have faith that one day the turmoil that you are facing right now will not last forever even though it feels like it. If you are just starting out and you have put your foot on the first crazy paving stone just read my story and others and take all the advice on here as this helped me a lot. I use to come on this site like a crazy man on crack scouring for information and stories just like mine so much so, that this site became an obsession. However as time went on I ranted and raved and took my emotions to text on here and it helped. My addiction became less and I was able in time to actually read this site in an informed manner and was thankful for all the support I received and if I can help anyone on here I will just message me publicly or privately.

May strength be your sword and truth be your shield and the support on here be your guiding light in your darkest hour, and your family and friends be your protectors.

Thank you to all on here I will update as I get more news on my children.

Ghost Biscuit....

[YearsOfHell]

Hi Ghost Biscuit

Thanks for updating us. I came here after you and your story and advice has helped us.
Although our situations are completely different, the feelings are the same.
So glad things are getting better for you.
You deserve to be happy.
I can't help with the employment checks as we run our own business and so have not yet needed any checks done.
But just wanted to say that I am so happy to hear your update.
Keep smiling
Wishing you all the very best for the future
Big hugs
YoH

[Franticwithworry]

Hi Ghost Biscuit. What a story! I'm so sorry it's taking so long for good things to happen, but I'm glad that some things are getting better for you, even if slowly.

I see that it's become clear that your ex was lying to your daughter, (and therefore probably your son too), and that she is gradually feeling more comfortable about disclosing this. You might like to read up on Parental Alienation, which was what was going on. Dr Craig Childress is a leading expert on this, and though he's American, so is writing has a USA bias, it's still useful and illuminating stuff. I have no affilliation to him, and there is lots of other useful information out there, but I found his work especially helpful.

Best wishes to you. Please let us know how things continue to go for you.