Accused, lost scared destroyed

[evian1976]

Well I am back on Monday to answer bail, solictor has said the officer in charge wants to carry out a 2nd interview. I cant see no positive in any off this, social misconception is just so wrong. I dont no why this happend, why the cry of rape. They take the toxocallgy if her but not me, like I drugged her I bet they check for that, but not me....

So unfair, down and scared.... If I am charged it game over I will have nothing left to rebuild.....

[is there justice?]

Well I am back on Monday to answer bail, solictor has said the officer in charge wants to carry out a 2nd interview. I cant see no positive in any off this, social misconception is just so wrong. I dont no why this happend, why the cry of rape. They take the toxocallgy if her but not me, like I drugged her I bet they check for that, but not me....

So unfair, down and scared.... If I am charged it game over I will have nothing left to rebuild.....

Evian, you've had such a long wait and now with another interview looming all the original panic must be setting in again

If you are charged, and that's only an if, you have everything to fight for and rebuild. As I, and my friends, seem to be forever pointing out, being charged does not make you guilty. Try to stay calm and clear headed, get some sleep and mentally prepare yourself which I know is far easier said than done.
Unfortunately cheating happens, as I know, but it isn't a crime and you don't deserve to be falsely accused.

[myhome]

So unfair, down and scared.... If I am charged it game over I will have nothing left to rebuild.....

Hi evian - being down and scared is natural and it would be an arrogant person indeed who wasn't.
However, being charged IF you are most certainly isn't "game over..."
if and when you are charged then you know what you are facing and can work with your defence team to build a defence. they can only help you and defend you if you give them something to work with. Many many people on here go to trial and come out Not Guilty or get the trial stopped before it's even started....the game is never over unless you choose it to be - and then she's won and that would be pointless as she's a liar and you are innocent.....
keep strong - it's an awful time for you but you have come a long way and must try really hard not to give up now - else all the fighting you have done so far has all been for nothing..............you're worth more than that........

[evian1976]

Too fight for!, I have been abonded by my friends, family........ and I cant ever be strong enough to look my children in the eys and tell them this. You may have all been here but no one can be here like me, we are all independant....... I really dont want to leave the police station if I am charged.......... I wont be able to protect myslef from myslef.

[saddened]

Keep your chin up - My son is going through the same

I am taking this very seroius. I think of nothing but this entire mess. I have been to my doctors who has signed me of for a few weeks and give me some anti-depresants. I have spoken with a solicitor who has stated that I have to return for a 2nd interview some time next month.

It changes nothing, I just cant seem to get out of this hole I have been dropped into. I still see no light at the end. Its the worst time of my life every and I am not sure I will ever be the person I was before this ordeal.

Keep your chin up!! It is a horrendous time.... My son at the beginning of this felt like ending it all. Keep fighting this!!!! Our thoughts and prayers are with you and others who find themselves in this awful situation, like you and my son x

[myhome]

Too fight for!, I have been abonded by my friends, family........ and I cant ever be strong enough to look my children in the eys and tell them this. You may have all been here but no one can be here like me, we are all independant....... I really dont want to leave the police station if I am charged.......... I wont be able to protect myslef from myslef.

I completely agree - all our cases are different but they have come from the same source - a lying False Accuser, so from that point of view we can certainly empathise with how you are feeling and I don't mean to diminish or trivialise your feelings in any way.......

I can only say again - IF - and it's by no means certain - you are charged - it is NOT the end - it is the beginning of the next stage which as you have seen on here many many times is winnable....

I can understand why you would not want your children to know about this, but as you are innocent neither you nor they have anything to be ashamed of.

If you are "unable to protect yourself from yourself" (which is a horror many of us have shares) then you have to face the fact that your children would have to grow up without a father and they would always wonder, "Was he guilty then and couldn't face a trial?" They'd never know and not only would they never have the love of their father, they would never have the answer to their question and would always be wondering if you were guilty and would never know the truth....

if you haven't yet been to see your GP to seek medical and counselling support I would really recommend that you do - most GP's are very sympathetic to this situation...

Hold your head high as you've done nothing wrong - keep strong and keep asking for help and tell us how you are feeling and we will help all we can.......

MH

[evian1976]

Well the 2nd interview shatterd me beyond all words, they paint a picture with words, put words on your mouth, I was lost, confussed and still am. CCTV shows us in the bar together, leaving the bar together, going down an alley together, leaving the alley together.....
I feel a monster inside me trying to escape, if justice is found and I am NFA'd or found not guilty all the people that thought I actually did this and abandoned me, how do I not hate them, dislike them, banish them like they have me. What ever happened this said night wasnt done knowingly and if only both parties toxocolgy was taken I think this would already be over, I cant help thinking I was targetted, selected for this entire thing without saying too much.

Then there is the if you plead guilty you will get x, but if you plead not guilty and found guilty you will get xx.

Its all so unfair - I feel for people that are really raped I really do, all this is making me want to do something good after this event and help others in this situation, but I really cant see there being a me after this event. I am all but destroyed and alone more and more each day

[Faith]

Please do not consider the temptation of a plea bargain for a potentially shorter sentence.
I am sorry to hear that you have had a traumatic second interview; it is very true that the police will do everything they can to twist things into their own agenda
What was the outcome of the second interview? Have you been rebailed?

[myhome]

Hi evian - you really are going through it at the moment - but every step is a step nearer to being found innocent....

When you are found innocent, reacting to the people who have abandoned you will indeed be a difficult decision for you. My thought fwit, is that if they didn't stand by you, then they are not real friends. Real friends stand by you no matter what.

You've still a way to go so please try not to think about the worst outcome and how you might or might not react - very very easy to say I know and I'm one of the worst at doing this so I'm not saying it lightly or flippantly. Just take a day at a time or even an hour at a time...then tackle the next hour or next day....

We'll all help all we can -

[Boys don't cry]

Hi Evian.

Faith is right about the Not Guilty plea.

When my barrister "offered" me two years instead of two and a half :I was shocked.

Why should I plead guilty for something I haven't done?

Two years or two and a half, three,.. 5;10;... would have been the same for me.

Take care and remember you are not alone.

By the way the verdict was unanimously Not Guilty.

[evian1976]

I have been rebailed for anoth 7weeks, that in its self is offensive, that our lifes hang in the balance for even longer. The police have now compiled all the evidence and have to have a face to face meeting with the CPS in cases like these. Why is that the case?. I wasnt allowed to leave the police station that day until I had been seen by a GP due to the frame off mind I live in from day to day.

Its true that everyone abandonded you, so here is the only real place I can come to talk, vent my frustration.

[Don'tbelieveit!]

Hi
This is the only place I can come to too! Parents gone, friends gone, acquaintances gone, all cos of an effing (sorry) FA which is absolutely untrue. Parents soooo proud of we have managed to date... and then? Do they give a sugar about what we may lose cos this sh4t? Nope, not an inkling! they can f off.. sorry for my blatant language

You're not alone!
xx

[is there justice?]

Hi Evian

Just want to add my support - nothing in life can prepare you for this ordeal. There's not just the anger at the FA, it totally annihilates your beliefs and trust.

As said, those who don't stand by you were never friends anyway. We've had some nasty and some good surprises about who are our friends.

Our sol said he was duty bound to point out that a guilty plea would result in a lesser sentence but added that he knew what our response would be.

Hub thought he couldn't cope but he's learning to get by. He's still waking at 4am most days but we are keeping it together and you will too otherwise your FA wins and you can't let that happen

[evian1976]

I no longer know the difference between sleep and awake, sleepijng dreams are like reality there vivid, clear, scary. The biggest fear I have realised is that my partner is one of those people that dont beilve me, I would never knowingly cheat on her..... all this was setup and everyone has taken the bait. I am going to have to set her free which is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. For that strengh and support I am going to need lots of

[sparks]

some times we have to take a step back to see the bigger picture, if you give up now you just might as well say " hey I am guilty" you now not only have to prove your innocence but prove the rest wrong also, do not let this FA win, and when your found innocent you will be the one with their head up high.

Sparks,