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  • #61
    Small update

    A bit of an update. CPN came to see me this morning and I was in tears and shaking because every day is a battle just trying to keep a sense of normality, and to-day I couldn't do it! Anyway, she phoned the police using 101 (to see if she could find out any information and if they could tell me what the arrest and charging process would be if it went that far as this has been worrying me so much), and asked to be put through to the police in the county where the allegations were made. She spoke to a very pleasant and helpful policewoman there who gave her the name of the Inspector in charge up there and a log number, said she'd do some investigating and call back which she did within a matter of minutes. She asked for more details (she initially said I didn't exist on their computer as I'd changed my surname when I got divorced). She then found "a report" and would ask someone to call me back to-day and explain things to me. In less than 10 minutes someone else rang and spoke to me. She (a DC) said that it was still being investigated and the tapes (which I'd made on 15th November) had only arrived a "week or 2 before Christmas" and gave the impression that they hadn't been listened to yet and that they'd have to be "re-assessed" but didn't explain what that meant; no decision had been made and the Inspector's Supervisor can't review them til they've been listened to. I asked if she was able to tell me if the other person in the allegations had been found yet; she said she hadn't read through the report far enough to find out, but the Inspector would be able to tell me. She added that I wouldn't hear anything one way or the other for at least 6-8weeks and then explained the arrest process to me if it went that far. She said that the Inspector was on leave and would return on Wednesday 2nd Jan and that she would e mail him to-day and ask him to ring me on Wednesday; she also took my mobile number to ensure he could get through to me. She also said that she would ask that, if it went to arrest, that the local police ring me first to say that a letter is in the post, so that I'm prepared for its arrival rather than just the shock of just getting the letter.
    She said that all further communication would be via my solicitor, and not to be offended if he found out what was happening before I did. I told her that my solicitor had told me the reverse - that he would have no further part in the case unless I got arrested and that I should keep him up to date whenever I knew anything. The DC said this was most unusual and never happened because if the police spoke to me first then it would be possible for me to inadvertantly say something to them that my solicitor wouldn't know about!! so they always communicated via the solicitor...
    I'm quite surprised to say the least by all this - this is all information given pleasantly, helpfully and very kindly by police officers from the force where the allegations were made, to me - one of the accused...
    I'll let you knowo what the Inspector says on Wednesday....
    "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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    • #62
      myhome, please check your PM inbox
      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

      Comment


      • #63
        Please be careful

        Hello, I just thought I would quickly back up Charlie on this one as I know his case, and I know how everything started off 'pleasantly, helpfully and very kindly' as you say. His opinions on the 'system' were born of their actions, not due to some pre-existing suspicious nature he had. Throughout the massively delayed justice process of all of this, he has learnt so much, he is not afraid any more, and that's why he is here. And you do not need to be afraid either. His posts here are to help anyone caught up in the sheer hell of all of this. He wants you and everyone else here to prepare and protect themselves, he speaks from experience, and is genuinely happy to hear of cases that are handled properly.

        All I ask, as someone who has witnessed more than one case deliberatlely mishandled, please just keep your wits about you with everything, trust your instincts and protect yourself. I'm sure inside you already know you should, because you started your closing sentence with "I'm quite surprised to say the least by all this".

        I hope the information you desperately need to help you get stronger and put you in a better position comes your way soon. It is only when you have all of the information that you can actually begin to work through this. In the meantime, be strong, be confident, don't be afraid - you can do this

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        • #64
          Not at all. I have been helping to defend and appeal historic allegations since 2000 which is why I wanted to alert the member to a PM from me. She's not in a good place and she needs specialist assistance. I can give her that.
          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

          Comment


          • #65
            Hello Anna,
            Welcome to the forum

            Comment


            • #66
              Thanks

              Originally posted by Verity View Post
              Hello Anna,
              Welcome to the forum
              Thank you Verity

              Comment


              • #67
                my home, I've just read through the first 50 or so entries in your thread.
                I'm so sorry to hear about the horrible situation you're in, and so worried to hear how badly the stress has been affecting you.
                I think you've already heard most of the best advice from most of the most helpful members here.

                I was concerned to see you frightened by scaremongering posts on other threads/ topics, too. On that particular subject, I quite agree with you. There are some ranty posts occasionally that can do more harm than good, but faced with these bizarre circumstances, some folk's reaction is just anger... everyone copes differently, but cope we must.

                I was recommended counselling by a very heplful member when I first joined the forum., and went to my Gp and was referred.... Just the regular weekly appointments with a sympathetic trained counsellor helped me enormously...and obviously free, and my entitlement from the NHS. I would always come away refreshed, with marvellously revitalized senses of sight, smell, sound..... Simple joys that the depression had totally suppressed.

                Do be strong. It's a mad, mad situation. You know the truth. Don't let anything distract you from that.
                Try to find time to just be good to yourself. ....

                This unbelievable situation will by now have you realizing this, but... You are not alone.....

                The suffering of others, it sounds easy to say, but the realization of that can sometimes help to put your own into perspective.

                We need you, myhome.
                Last edited by just married; 31 December 2012, 08:04 PM.
                I'm not ready to make nice

                Comment


                • #68
                  [QUOTE=just married;35325We need you, myhome.[/QUOTE]

                  Oh JM thank you so much for your message - has made me cry!!!!!! In a nice way!!!! To-day has been a dark day and I recognise that everyone has them regardless of state of mind or personal circumstances..... The suffering of others makes me understand that they are suffering too but it doesn't take theirs or mine away....I can be empathetic towards them too..... thank you.....
                  "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    me too. take care, and try not to focus too much on too many of the scary posts.
                    In my own relatively brief ordeal, I don't want to prejudice anyone or anything, but I had no real complaints with the way I was treated by the police.
                    I'm not ready to make nice

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                    • #70
                      I am shouting - sorry

                      I can't do this any more
                      Last edited by myhome; 31 December 2012, 09:25 PM.
                      "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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                      • #71
                        Yes you can. I can ring you now if you need me to
                        People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                        PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Thank you - but I'll just go to bed with my dogs and get to sleep before the wretched fireworks go off - it's just been black day - everyone has them thank you
                          steph
                          "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Thanks for your PM. I really do look forward to speaking with you on Wednesday. Stay strong hon.
                            People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                            PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
                              Thanks for your PM. I really do look forward to speaking with you on Wednesday. Stay strong hon.
                              Thanks - trying to - waiting for the out of hours mental health team to ring back - so will get the dogs to bed in the meantime - and that's where you should be too if not setting off fireworks at midinight!
                              "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Myhome.

                                Tomorrow will be another day and I wish you all the best for 2013.

                                Take care.

                                Non,je ne regrette rien.

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