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  • Husband accused of rape

    Hi all My story starts 2 week ago- and Im sure it will run and run. Last Friday, I was on facebook and noticed it was my next door neighbours Birthday, so I wished her happy birthday. Then she posted that she was home alone as her husband was working nights and her kids were either out or working ( she has 4), so I thought " she will be around soon," as she has done it before when she was drunk. Anyway, I was just off to bed as I had to work the next day, when I head a knock on my door - I ignored it at first as I knew it was her, but she knocked again, so I opened the door and she almost fell through it as she was so drunk.

    I told her I couldnt stay up long as I had to be up early. She plonked a wicker basket on the table and took out a can of cider and started drinking it and also had another can and bottle of wine in there. We talked for about 10-15 mins, then she asked to go to the toilet, I said you know where it is- next thing she is coming down the stairs with my hubby behind her. She had gone and woken him up, saying "its my Birthday, come and have a drink with me". She opened the wine and gave him a glass. I stayed for about 10 minutes, then took the opportunity to go to bed.

    This was the last I knew until 5.30 the next morning, when 2 policeman were absolutely knocking my door down - they woke up he whole estate and the estate next door - there is no reason for this whatsoever! They said she had accused him of raping her, and he took the clothes he was wearing the previous night. Meanwhile, my 25 year old son, who lives with us, came into my bedroom, and told me what he had been accused of. When they left, my son told me that this woman had come around at about 2am , into his bedroom and told him that his dad had raped her.

    He told her to get out as she was drunk. She said - if you wont do it, then I will, so he saw her out of the door and watched her go into her door.His dad was then in the kitchen. She went home and then apparantly called the police at about 2am. We were talking and I asked him " when and where did this rape take place?" He didnt know. A couple of hours later, I was asked to go to the local police station and make a statement, which I did. Then my son went down there and made one. Afterwards, we spoke, and he told me the first thing that he knew about her being there was when she was shouting at his dad to get up and have a drink. H e heard all three of us talking for about 10-15 mins, then heard me go to bed at about 12.45. About 15-20 mins later he heard his dad say "Im taking you home -youre drunk" - he looked and saw him frog marching her out of the front door as she could hardly walk. He didnt hear the door close and was worried about the dogs getting out ( We have 2 lurchers and they can escape from anywhere if the door is not locked).

    He went downstairs, out of the door and saw his dad coming back from next door, but the 1 dog was out, so they got him back in. This all took about 2-3 mins according to my husband and son. My husband then went into the kitchen/diner and sonny went back to bed. As I said ,the next thing we know, is door is being knocked off its hinges! It wasnt until later on that evening, I found out what was supposed to have happened. My husband was released on bail, even tho the duty officer wanted to keep him in all weekend, but the duty solicitor said no way.

    A policewoman rang me and said as he had no family, would one of my family be willing to put him up for a week as he was not allowed to come home with her living next door. My sisters were with me and both said yes. But both live quite close ( is a small town) and they were not happy! I said I have family living a couple of hundred miles away ( son and daughter) but that was too far! They eventually released him to my one sisters house for a week. The 3 conditions were - he wasnt allowed into our estate, he couldnt talk to the family concerned and he must reside at my sisters address. Fine.

    We were told the dna results would be back on the Wednesday ( by the way,) she told police - he raped her and ejaculated into her, she was screaming at the top of her voice and was scratching him and thumping him in the face. This was all supposed to have happened in the few minutes my son saw him take her home and saw him come back. He had no marks on him, apart from a couple of small holes on his hand, which he said the dog had done a couple of days previously. The doctor said he could see the mark was a few days old. He gave DNA willingly as he said nothing would show up.

    She refused to do a video statement on the Saturday as she said she was "too tired" and would do one on the Monday, we presume she did give one, tho we have heard nothing. I had booked the following weekend off work for us to go and stay with my daughter and son, as it was her Birthday, but the solicitor said we could not go ( or, he could not go) as it was breaking the bail conditions. He said the dna would be back mid week so things could change. He was bailed til 3rd July at the city police station.

    The day before(his Birthday) he was told not to go, as the dna results were not back and he was being further bailed til 17th August. The dna apparantly gets sent off in stages. He then asked if he was allowed to go visit our children and was told - no, it takes a court to change the conditions But I had already read on here that the duty officer could do it - they were most surprised at that! So we are allowed to go ( going tomorrow) In the meantime, He has to say at my sisters house,sleeping on the sofa ( he is 6 feet 3inches) even tho they told her it would only be for a week.

    I am now having to pay for his "keep" there, even tho she tells me no. Her partner is out of work, as is my husband. I am struggling with the bills as it is, on basically minimum wage, as she is. He has 2 job interviews next week, but if he doesnt mention all this, what happens if he gets a job and is then charged and has to go to court? He will prob lose it again! Apart from this, we have 2 dogs and when im at work, they will be on their own for 13 hours a day! Apart from my sons statement my sister in law and brother live next door to her on the otherside.

    My sister in law was up between 1am - 2am that night and heard her say (tho she does not know who to, as she didnt look) " Biddys Still up" so why did she come back round to the house of the person that was supposed to have raped her and not to the other side! She did not hear her shouting, altho she has in the past when her husband has been beating her up .Also, her husband waited til my brother went out and went and apologised to my sister in law for all the hassle. We are not supposed to comunicate. We have not as yet told anybody about what my sister in law heard as no one knew until the statements were already given - do you think we should tell someone, would it make any difference?

    I am just waiting for the DNA results - if he did what she said, then his dna will be all over her, if there is no match then I will know he is innocent. She had 4 kids upstairs that night and not one of them heard her screaming?And believe me she has a voice like a foghorn! What do you all think? Thanks for reading my rambling!
    Last edited by RFLH; 6 July 2012, 07:02 AM. Reason: edited for ease of reading

  • #2
    It's not easy to write your story so I am glad that you have found the strength and I hope that you may have found it therapeutic.
    Unfortunately, there is very little that you can do at this stage except wait for the DNA to come back.
    Is your husband saying that nothing at all happened?

    Could it be that she made a pass at him in a drunken state then cried rape to cover herself? Is there any other motive she might have for wanting your husband in trouble?
    "Be sure your sin will find you out"

    Numbers 32:23

    Comment


    • #3
      Husband accused of rape.

      Hi thanks for reading. He says he took her home, put her on the sofa and turned her onto her side as she said she felt sick, he didnt want her vomiting and choking. He and my son then got the dog in.He said nothing happened at all. I heard today, that her son is telling everybody and she refused to give a swab. I dont know how true this is, could they have got it mixed up with the FACT that she refused to do an interview on the Saturday. Can we get this confirmed, if so, how? No one is telling us anything. If she has not given a swab, can they go on my husbands dna alone? Also, I do not understand the timetable of all this. She phoned police at 2am, they turned up on our doorstep at 5.30. At 2.53am she had put on her facebook status "Off to bed"xx . The city is about 30 mins drive from us.W ould they have come to her house when she phoned, then taken her to the city to give a statement and be examined, then bought her home? This is only a small town. Then how could she have been going to bed an hour after the phone call, or would they have left it til the morning? By the way, I have print screened this comment, which you explained how to do on here, thanks! It seems so wrong that they are allowed to carry on with their lives as normal, whilst ours have been ripped apart. I do not know of any reason why she would lie, only that she was very drunk, maybe she was on some kind of drug? Idont know, only heard that she was on medication for something to do with her stomach. I know she had put in an application to move to a new house (wanted a 4 bedroom) and she was turned down, although her husband didnt want to move. She also mentioned that night that another neighbour whom she does not like, was not now moving. But surely she would not go through all this just to get a move? I have been married for 25 years and can tell when my husband is lying, I believe him totally. Thank you

      Comment


      • #4
        She is within her rights to refuse a swab and as this allegation is false, it's fairly obvious why she has done this...as it would show she was lying.
        These things CAN still go ahead on statements alone...the police of course may be checking her bed/sofa etc for traces of your husband's DNA...
        "Be sure your sin will find you out"

        Numbers 32:23

        Comment


        • #5
          Husband accused of rape

          Thanks for replying. I dont know if she has actually refused to give a swab, or if this is just gossip. Is there any way of finding out for sure? Yes, it was supposed to have happened on her sofa, can they test that without her permission? The only statements that they have taken, that I am aware of, are off me (who wasnt there when it was supposed to have happened), her, my husband and son. Our statements all match, more or less. The solicitor said about hers (which she must have given when she was drunk) "something isnt right here, there are too many inconsistancies in what she is saying"

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          • #6
            Hi,

            Just a thought re. the comment made on facebook: It is possible to update status from a mobile phone or tablet so she may not necessarily been at home when she made it. (maybe her entry was made in the sense: '[now] off [home] to bed'
            'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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            • #7
              Yes, thats probably right, but going on to Facebook just after you have been raped doesnt seem right to me.

              Comment


              • #8
                Husband accused of rape

                Hello all! Finally got my keyboard back! Well, yesterday, after a lovely weekend with my son and daughter, was my first day back at work after all this happened. I live in a small town , work in a factory, made up almost entirely of men, so I was dreading it!

                At first, most people just said hello, but were not as normally as chatty as norm - but it was our first day back on shift. I thought they seemed embarrased. Within an hour, tho, one person came up to me and said - " you have been the talk of the factory for the last couple of weeks, what have you been up to?" My hackles rose and I said "Nothing!" He said _ Not one person that I have spoken to - "And I mean absolutely NO ONE" believes a word of it.

                A few minutes later , someone else came up and said What I have been hearing is a load of **** - nobody , but nobody, believes it, she shouldnt be allowed to go around saying things like that - you must sue her for defamation of character at least! Finally, another man came up to me and said " Dont say anything - but that evil, filthy cow should be locked up for life and the key thrown away! He said " if P wants a reference, I will give him one, also K will give him one, as the things K has been saying about her is so awful, I cant even tell you!" I proceeded to tell him about it and the things she has done and said in the past and he said "thats exactely what K has said.

                I realise you cant say things about her character in court, but the point that so many people dont believe her because of who she is, and dont automatically think P is guilty, just helps me. So far, not one word of negativity.

                The bad things are - today, my dogs were left for 13 hours on their own. He is not allowed to come up and get them to take them out, so they had to wait for me to get home, take them down to P, who then walked them, then I had to go and fetch them back home. Tomorrow is not so bad as Im on nights, so I can walk them and then go to work at night, altho they will still be on their own for 13 hours at night.

                We never planned for this, it is so unfair. Why does it take so long? She is there living her own life as normal! My husband has not even been charged, he is living the life of riley at my sisters, being waited on hand and foot and Im still working all hours God sent, living on my own next door to 6 loonies! The best thing we can hope for (from reading this site) is NFA. WTF! She can come up with this bull**** and disrupt all our lives, then say "Im not giving a statement, Im not giving DNA and walk away with HER life not being disrupted at all, and we should be grateful that our husbands/partners are found "not guilty" but to call her a liar will cost us thousands! Yes, I cant wait for my husband to come home, but that cannot be the end of it, surely? How can she get away with this? I feel like calling the police and saying "her husband has raped me, but Im not making a statement, Im not giving any dna - but move him out and see how she copes and likes it! From - very angry and very bitter!
                Last edited by Saffron; 11 July 2012, 11:16 AM. Reason: Adding paragraphs for ease of reading

                Comment


                • #9
                  Yes it does seem so unfair and sometimes (just for an nanosecond) I wonder if muslims are on the right track.

                  However (and I'm sure you wouldn't want it any other way) in this country women have their 'rights' to make accusations and the police have to enforce the laws that parliament has passed down.

                  Take comfort in karma, from what you say about her she is obviously not happy with her life and this accusation won't make any difference to that, while you and hubby will come out the other side stronger in every way. From what you've just said in your last post about your workmates reactions, you and hubby will be able to walk through your town with your heads held high & she will have to stay indoors.
                  'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thanks for your reply, Casehardened. I agree completely that people should have the right to make a complaint and have it investigated, but the law should work both ways, and if she is found to be lying, then she should be the one investigated and made to suffer, it is so easy to lie without even having to give any
                    evidence. It is her son saying that she wouldnt be examined, so she has not been through any ordeal whatsoever. She will not hide indoors, she is not the type, she has no shame and is really stupid. By the way, guess what? She has asked to be moved - what she has wanted all along! I hope this is all resolved before she moves because it will get very interesting, alot of my family live around here!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm so glad to hear that your hubby has lots of support. Just knowing that people believe he is innocent is a huge help.

                      This woman sounds like a nasty piece of work. As others have said, she is within her rights to refuse a medical examination, incredible as it sounds. So if it ever does get as far as court there will be no DNA evidence, no witnesses to say they overheard screaming, no scratches/bruises etc on your husband, not a shred of physical evidence.

                      Your husband's DNA might be in her house, as he escorted her there, but there won't be any semen or pubic hairs from him.
                      She seems to have very strong motives for making a False Allegation as well - financial reward and a new house.


                      I don't want to get your hopes up, but it sounds as though you have a strong defence case. Hang in there.

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                      • #12
                        Thanks, Saffron, too scared to get my hopes up, but am sure truth will out in the end, its just the waiting. Good luck to everybody!

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                        • #13
                          Hi everybody. Just a quick question. My husband was told by somebody today that this is not the first time that this woman has done this. He didnt ask who the other person was! Dont even know for sure if it is true, but am now working on finding out. Surely if it is true, it must help our case? If we find out can we approach this person and ask him to give evidence? If it got as far as her reporting it to the police,would they be aware of it, without us prompting them? Would this count against her if it goes to court (must do)?Also, if it did happen,could we ( or the police) in the event of NFA, prosecute her? My family are justifiably, very angry and can not believe she could get away with no action being taken against her whatsover! I believe we can not claim legal aid to sue her for false allegation,slander, libel or defamation of character? Can someone please confirm this so that I can tell them as they are all offering to put money towards this and I belie we are talking thousands here, which we could no way afford. Sorry, more than one quick question!

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                          • #14
                            It would depend if the other allegation was made to police. If it was then the police SHOULD already be aware of it. it could make powerful evidence to the defense.

                            However, if it was not made to police and was just people spouting to eachother, it would be considered hearsay and therefore unlikely to be admissable.

                            I would abandon any thoughts of prosecuting the liar, at least at this stage. This is sickeningly expensive and unlikely to succeed unless you have hard proof of her lies or a confession.
                            "Be sure your sin will find you out"

                            Numbers 32:23

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thanks for your quick reply, Faith, yes its what I thought, but I wanted confirmation to tell my family, as they will not believe that there is nothing we can do, at least at the moment. Will continue investigating ( as the police would say)! Also, my husband has had a letter off the duty solicitor saying they can represent him at his bail hearing, but after this he has to get legal aid. Does this mean that the solicitor thinks he is going to be charged?If he is charged, are we entitled to legal aid( he is not working, and Im on a low wage)? Also, might be a stupid question, but when he goes to his bail hearing, is it possible that he could be locked up? He is driving himself over there, and his car would then be stuck there, or should he get someone else to take him? Its quite a way and buses are virtually non existent ( I cant drive, by the way!)

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