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  • husband accused!!!

    Hi everyone,

    Last sunday my husband got a phone call from is mother saying the police had been looking for him at her address. Not knowing what it was for he went to the police station where he spent 5 hours to then come out and tell me he was being accoused of historicial rape! involving my husband and a now 16 year old girl, who claims she would have been 14 at the time. he wasnt charged, but bailed until the 17th june.

    i would be greatfull for any advice on this situation. this is how it stands at the moment.

    Her statement claims:
    On the 26th of december 2010 she was at my husbands house with his ex her dad and his partner having drinks for my husbands birthday! she claims, when her dad and his partner went home his ex had fallen asleep on the sofa and my husband dragged her upstairs telling her to shut up, were he then raped her! this is all we know because at that point my husband stopped the officer interviewing him stating he didnt need to hear anymore as that itself was the biggest load of rubbish! the officer had said it was his chance to get his side across regarding the incident, my husband replied by saying there was no incident as it was all rubbish!

    His statement:
    He first stated that this could not have happened on this date as he was with me all day, which he was as it was our first christmas together! the officer then stated she must have got her dates wrong which often happens!
    He then went on to say that this actual gathering of people happen the year before, december 2009, but no such thing happened! after having drinks for his birthday he went up to bed roughly befor midnight to watch tv in bed and fall asleep. while leaving his ex and her daughther up and still drinking, this girl in question was also still down there. This girl was also apparently drinking and very drunk at this point! she kept going upstairs to wear my husband was and sitting on the end of the bed, and he had to keep getting his ex's daugther to keep taking her back downstairs!
    He also stated to the police that he was good friends with her dad at the time and thats how this girl got involved in there life, was because she was his daugther!
    He said even after this night she was still coming round with her dad my husband was still going to there house, and everytime my husband called her dad she would be asking to talking to my husband, so at this point was making no sense to mu husband why she would be doing this to him. my husband did not have a solicitor present with him in his interview as he didnt feel he needed one given the fact he didnt do anything wrong.

    two days later he went he to collect his children from his ex partner when he told her what had happened and that she should expect a visit from the police, when he explained when then was she gave him imformation even he couldnt remember.
    for instance. this girl had been sick all down herself and had to be given one of my husbands t-shirts to wear. the fact that 3 other people turned up for drinks and stayed there all night. my husbands ex also told him that she didnt even go to sleep that night.
    so in light of it all i dont think she thought about her lie all that well!

    after alot of searching i managed to find her on facebook where i managed to backtrack to 2009 where 3 days after this supposed rape toke place she is having an arguement with two girls stating what a bull****ter she is, as she was saying something about friends of theres!!
    i have also printed out since 2009 as she had no problem putting posy pictures of herself on there along with flirting with boys and saying how sad it was that she wouldnt have a boyfriend on valentines day. now i know its not really evidence as such, but the girl did not change at all! nothing changed about her personality, and im sure after this apparent thing has happned to you, the last thing you want to do is go on facebook posting comments and pictures.

    i think i got it all in there, but as you can imagine i dont really know what is likely to happen from here and also why the police have not spoken to anyone that can prove my husband did not do it.

    thanks

  • #2
    Hello and welcome.

    Unfortunately your husband has learnt the hard way that he should never ever give proof of alibi to the police. They will then go back to the accuser and encourage her to say that she "may have got the date wrong" due to the "emotional confusion". However, sge was very specific about the precise date. And as it was Boxing Day it's a memorable day, i.e. not just a general day.

    I urge you to keep any evidence you have found between yourself, your husband and your solicitor. Under no circumstances pass it to the police. I know it's hard to believe at this point, but Plod are not interested in anything that may prove your hubby's innocence. In the worst case they might "lose" the evidence and in the best case they will simply ignore it. The police are not on your side, I'm afraid.

    What you have said about them telling your hubby it was "his chance to get the real story across" is all too familiar.

    You need to get a specialist solicitor on board - one who has extensive experience of successfully defending false allegations of sex crimes. If you post up your county (nothing more!) there may be a sol we can recommend.

    Is your husband on good terms with his ex? If so he should ask her to volunteer as a character witness. As she has had dealings with the accuser before she could be a powerful defence witness.

    How is your hubby coping? How are you coping? Something like this is life-changing. No doubt others will be along soon with further advice. In the meantime, welcome.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks for your reply. My husband and his ex are the best of friends as my husband has custody of his 3 children because she wasn't coping, but even after everything they have been through she has said it was not possible that it could have happened with so many people around, and she was keeping her eye on her through the evening because she kept going upstairs.

      My husband isn't coping very well, his not eating and is barely sleeping. I'm trying my best to keep him in high spirits, but as to be expected I'm not succeeding very well.
      I'm trying to hold our family together by looking after his children and my own two. I also have that on my mind! I don't know what happens in regards to social services in these cases, will they get involved with our children? That is constantly on my mind, as well as trying to do the norm for them so they don't realise anythings different.

      Comment


      • #4
        Hello,
        saffron is correct it sounds like VERY serious and the best thing your husband can do is contact a solicitor ASAP also be carefull when speaking over the phone etc as the police could try listen to gather more info also don't contact the girl If you husband is depressed I would see a doctor about getting medicated the begining is the worst it's a horrible terrifying time until over the months you guys will start to accept things If i could go back in time i would have said to myself don't worry to much it's not worth it anti-depressants and good lawyers 2 best things i could recomment and like saffron said the less you speak the better AND REMEMBER THE POLICE WILL PRETEND TO BE YOUR FRIEND BUT THEY ARE PRETENDING AND ARE LIKE WOLVES DRESSED IN SHEEPS CLOTHING IT'S YOUR LAWYER WHO WILL SPEAK TO THEM BY LAW YOU CAN REFUSE TO

        Comment


        • #5
          It's very important for you guys to speak to a lawyer take your husband to the dr I WAS IN A nervous breakdown went mad and a dr put me on zoloft 100mg it will take a few weeks but it will make come back and will help him cope you guys will need the energy i don't know about the kids but like i said a lawyer will help with this unfortunately the better the lawyer is the more expensive but now is the most important time start WITH YOU HUSBANDS EX YOU will want your solicitor to take a statement from your husbands ex and anyone else asap as people change their minds all the time saying she was watching this could save your husband from everything that is very good she was watching see that's fantastic also if you can't afford a lawyer there is legal aid but they are I think like shopping at a $2 store

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          • #6
            Thanks!! We went to see a solicitor on Friday who also advised up to keep all Facebook and other info to ourself because that would be best used if he was charged. When I asked the solicitor what he thought of the case, he said he thought it was a mess as she has no evidence at all, and the situation she's stating doesn't reflect those of the people that were actually there that evening. The solicitor has told us to sit tight and not do anything, easier said than done. I just need to know what's coming next!

            Comment


            • #7
              make sure your husband get's fresh air if he's up to it goes for walks etc that's why it's good for him to get medicated either way he will come back to you don't worry he is just in massive shock atm i really REALLY recommend he get's medicated it will help you so much he is probably suffering massive post traumatic stress I think this has taken 10 years of my life when it ends it will be like england won the nazi's for me
              it will be like V DAY THE WAR WILL END and i can sleep normaly again without the nightmares good luck the secret is THIS WILL PROBABLY BE A LONG PROCESS BUT LIFE MUST GO ON YOU GUYS MUST NOT LET IT EAT YOU TRY YOUR BEST TO BE HAPPY AND WORK EVEN THOUGH IT SOUNDS HARD DON'T GIVE UP

              Comment


              • #8
                FACEBOOK OMG HAHAHAHAHA the first thing i did was from the police station i GOT my lawyer to delete my facebook account DELETE DELETE DELETE it's the first thing the evil police to type your name in google and take everything down delete that **** but make sure your solicitor does not need any of it first but take it away from the public's eye your family is going to want to be living low key or your husband is for sure

                Comment


                • #9
                  facebook is evil and mothing good can come fro having an account it can be used against you i think

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Facebook can also be an invaluable tool providing you take screenshots and not copy/pastes of helpful posts on there. You can set privacy settings to entirely private so that only your friends can see your profile (or even that you are on there at all) if you wish.

                    Keep coming back and updating us so you can be suitably advised.
                    People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                    PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi Scarlett

                      I was told and have collected lots of facebook evidence against my son's accuser in case he is charged. It is relevant evidence and can be used in court if your case goes that far.

                      Please collect as much correspondance as you possibly can from your husband's accuser be it from facebook or text messages she may have sent your husband or his ex wife. I have collected every bit of dirt i can on my son's accuser, some of it may not be allowed to be used in court but it is better to be armed with info than have nothing at all.

                      I have closed down my sons facebook page but only after i had extracted every bit of relevant info that i needed to support my son. The theory behind closing the facebook account is that if you were to leave it open you could end up with a barrel of abuse.

                      The only advice i can give you is this is not something that goes away quickly and you may find that you are re-bailed several times. Try and stay as positive as you can i know its easier said than done.

                      Big hugs

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        The solicitor's advice is 100% on the mark...don't share evidence with the police. Sit back during this stage. very difficult yes, but the police will not be looking for ways to drop the case, they are looking for ways to secure a conviction.

                        I do not agree that you should delete the Facebook page as, like Rights Fighter says, it can be a means of gathering evidence if and when a charge comes. But yes, set it to private.

                        Also, take care with how much detail you post here. never forget that this forum can be accessed by anyone. If your husband's statement is posted word for word, it might be wise to ask a mod to edit it down else you might be recognised by any police snooping around here.
                        "Be sure your sin will find you out"

                        Numbers 32:23

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I wish I could had something else but you had excellent replies from everyone.
                          -Take a solicitor.
                          -Collect as much information as you can and only deal with your solicitor.
                          -Be extremely careful whith posts on facebook and avoid any contact with your husdband's ex daughter.
                          -If your husband's ex doesn't believe her own daughter ,try via the solicitor to get a statement ASAP from her as she may change her mind.
                          -Wait and then if unfortunately your husband is charged I would get legal aid.
                          (Sorry Wunderland or anyone:what does mean by choping in a 2£ shop?.)
                          I had legal aid and I am not sure if it was to chose a barrister,but mine had 40 years experience and God bless him.
                          It did cost me around 4 000£ but as I was found not guilty I will get them back.

                          I do hope your husband will not have to live this and I know it seems hard but he must try to go on with his life.He is already lucky that you and his ex are supporting him.Trust him but I am afraid you will have to understand his mood swings.
                          Take care both of you.
                          Non,je ne regrette rien.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            @boys don't cry sadly the more money a person has the better the lawyer will be.Unless somone is very lucky like you who ended up with a lawyer with 40 years of info :P

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              [COLOR="rgb(0, 0, 0)"][/COLOR]Unless somone is very lucky like you who ended up with a lawyer with 40 years of info :P (From Wunderland)

                              Very lucky like, me? Wunderland.

                              Sorry for this post.But as you may be aware my wife was cheating on me.
                              I have been kicked out of the house for someone else and money.
                              I haven't seen my 10 years old son (God) since a bit more than a year now.
                              I am still going to County Court to fight just to try to see him.
                              I feel like being an Alien at work.
                              I have been in front page of the local newspapers.
                              I still receive emails from my solicitors that my wife NEED to know about my finances.
                              Sorry ,I forgot ,I had a motorbike accident 2 days after being rebailed for the first time.
                              Nearly everyday I cry and most of the time I would like to ...it.
                              My health is deterioring but I won't go and see a doctor or anybodyelse.
                              Once again I AM SORRY,I WORKED 10 YEARS WITHOUT HOLIDAYS,7 DAYS A WEEK TO PROVIDE THE BEST FOR MY FAMILY AND I AM ENDING LIKE S......G MYSELF.
                              DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS LUCK???
                              DO YOU THINK IT IS LUCK TO BE FALSELY ACCUSED BY YOUR OWN WIFE???
                              DO YOU THINK IT IS LUCK FOR MY SON NOT TO SEE HIS FATHER???
                              I SAVED FOR THEM,I HAVE NOTHING,JUST A NICE BICYCLE.

                              SO,PLEASE,WITH ALL DUE RESPECT...

                              JUST ONE MORE THING,I AM NOT SORRY TO HAVE BEEN FOUND NOT GUILTY BECAUSE I RESPECT EVERYONE.

                              (I do not judge people from their politic views,their income,their sex,their tendancies,their nationalities...)

                              WE ARE IN THIS FORUM TO HELP EACH OTHER.
                              Last edited by Boys don't cry; 15 May 2012, 11:32 PM.
                              Non,je ne regrette rien.

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