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So scared, dunno what to expect after son's wrongful arrest for rape of underage girl. please help, advice very welcome.

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  • So scared, dunno what to expect after son's wrongful arrest for rape of underage girl. please help, advice very welcome.

    Please help anyone! My son was fixated on some time ago by my 12 year old daughters best friends sister who is 14. I warned him to stay away as she is very screwed up - i have had her turn up at my house several times thinking she may be pregnant, sometimes so drunk she couldnt stand. My daughter tells me she s been dating different boys every week up to the age of 25 etc ( u get the picture) she has even talked often about suicidal thoughts so i tried to suggest councelling or encouraged her to talk to her parents. I was deeply concerned for her wellbeing but not wishing to betray her confidence as i could see she was extremely vulnerable and messed up I just offered what help I could. Similarly after her contacting my older son (19) on facebook he tried to do the same as he is very muich like me in that respect, in this case tohis detriment! i warned him to be careful but also knew that he was well against the idea of dabbling with underage girls since i had always drilled it into him from very young having 4 sons so i wasnt too worried an d could see he was just trying to help. One day she appeared at our house during a school day when my son was home alone and she had pretended to be sick so my son let her in. They talked, watched tv then i came home. He then offered to take her home so took the dog for the walk and went. On the way he went to some wasteground nearby where we always take the dog and this is where she decided to basically throw herself at him. He repeatedly refused, trying to b nice but worried about not upsetting her further due to her delicate disposition but after her basically sitting on him and shoving her hand down his pants he basically threw her off and left. Unfortunately for him due to a premature ejaculation problem he sufers from he ejaculated as soon as she touched him , Now 2 months later she has gone to b tested fror sti s an d as they told her off for being underage for some reason she told them she only had sex because she was forced, subsequently they informed the police. The next thing we know cid turned up and took him away! we are all terrified, he s such a good kid he s never done a thing wrong in his life, he s not confident with girls he s just normal i just cant believe she would lie like this just probably so her parents wouldnt go mad with her for sleeping around! We are scared now that if any semen is found on the that clothes she has apparently saved that he ll have no chance. Can anybody advise at all? Please help!

  • #2
    more info

    Hi everyone, i meant to mention, in case i wasnt clear earlier that no sex or sexual act took place between the girl and my son. The only thing that occured was as i said earlier when they sat down at one point when he let the dog off the lead for a run, she sort of jumped in his lap and tried to shove her hand down his pants. She s not just trying to say that sex occured but that he full on forced himself on her so of course the allegation is rape and her being 14 makes it so much worse! obviously they havnt found any evidence of force so how can they accuse him of this? plus how can he prove he didnt have sex with her if she insists he did? im so worried she ll play the victim so well they ll just assume she s telling the truth! Its so unfair. Does anyone know what the outcome might b?

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    • #3
      Originally posted by crystalw1tch View Post
      Now 2 months later she has gone to b tested fror sti s an d as they told her off for being underage for some reason she told them she only had sex because she was forced, subsequently they informed the police.

      We are scared now that if any semen is found on the that clothes she has apparently saved that he ll have no chance. Can anybody advise at all? Please help!
      My thinking is that in the 2 months all her clothes will have been through the washing machine at least once, maybe several times, which will have destroyed any such evidence.

      If she has in fact 'saved' the clothes, this opens up several questions:Why save them but not then report the allegation to the police immediately? Was there an element of premeditation in the allegation, as the usual instinct is to wash everything?

      This doesn't inspire any confidence in the credibility of the girl; however it is difficult to guess how the CPS will view the matter. I'm guessing that at the moment he's been interviewed and released on bail i.e. not charged with anything?
      'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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      • #4
        Hi thanks for replying, i did think it was strange myself if she has saved the clothes but i really wouldnt put it past her as she is very unbalanced. In actual fact she didnt even report the inccident herself even now it was the doctor after she asked for sti tests. They apparently started lecturing her for even needing such tests at her age to which she replied it wasnt her fault she d been forced into having sex. Obviously then they had to report it due to her being 14. God knows why she picked him as she could ve seriously had many to chose from whom she has actually slept with which she s actually told me about! but you are right regarding the legal situation, yes he s been arrested, questioned, bailed til next month and thats all so far.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by crystalw1tch View Post
          God knows why she picked him as she could ve seriously had many to chose from whom she has actually slept with which she s actually told me about! but you are right regarding the legal situation, yes he s been arrested, questioned, bailed til next month and thats all so far.
          Far be it from me to second-guess what goes through the mind of a 14 yr old girl, but maybe it was annoyance for being rejected where all her other suitors had succumbed to her wishes

          It's impossible to say what might happen but try to take some comfort from the fact that he's not been charged.
          'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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          • #6
            Yeah I guess i should b glad for small comforts. The main worry for me. is if any dna is found because then they will never believe that he didn't do anything. He was stupid to let her even get close enough to grab at him and I just can't see them believing that that's all that happened. Plus he can't prove any different. Sorry I'm babbling, my mind is just. racing

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            • #7
              Inevitably you are going to worry, in your situation all of you won't be able to think about anything else.

              Without wishing to preempt anything you could use this situation productively; by getting your son to write down exactly what happened whilst it's still fresh in his mind and jot down all the reasons that you both can think of for the girl to make this false allegation.
              'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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              • #8
                Yes ill make sure we do that thanks for the advice. One more thing, I've tried all ove4 the internet but can't seem to find anywhere that says how long semen can b on clothing and still b detected forensically. As. I explained earlier, any traces will now b 8 weeks old plus they said their backlog means we won't have results for at least 6 weeks. As u can imagine life would b so much easier if there was no dna to worry about.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by crystalw1tch View Post
                  One more thing, I've tried all ove4 the internet but can't seem to find anywhere that says how long semen can b on clothing and still b detected forensically. As. I explained earlier, any traces will now b 8 weeks old plus they said their backlog means we won't have results for at least 6 weeks. As u can imagine life would b so much easier if there was no dna to worry about.
                  Hi again,

                  With modern DNA sampling, I would think that if there was any semen on the girl's clothes it would be detected, provided they have not been washed. If the clothes have been washed then, even if traces of semen remain, there could be cross-contamination with other folk's DNA and the results won't be relevant.

                  In my opinion, unless a alleged rape victim's clothing is bagged up by the police when they first report the offence it will be very difficult to make anything of this.

                  After all, in the intervening two months it would be entirely possible for your son & the girl to have had a further consensual sexual encounter, especially as she only reported the initial encounter when challenged by the STI clinic.

                  The real issue, to my mind, is what your son has said in his interview, this is why I suggested he writes it all down. For instance, if he told has the police what you mentioned in your first post:

                  Unfortunately for him due to a premature ejaculation problem he sufers from he ejaculated as soon as she touched him

                  then the question of DNA is really irrelevant as it would be argued that it could be transferred from her hand to anywhere it is found.

                  Please think about this & discuss it with your son but don't necessarily post the finer details on this thread, it's a public forum and it's not impossible that the other side are also reading it!
                  'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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                  • #10
                    http://www.proofpronto.com/sespytekit.html
                    And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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                    • #11
                      Hi,

                      has your son been medically diagnosed with premature ejaculation? If so, confirmation of this from the doctor could help

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                      • #12
                        wow davet good thinking

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                        • #13
                          Your case is quite different to mine. But I know how your feeling and I Feel for you and will be thinking of you as well in this tough time. Good luck.

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                          • #14
                            Sti

                            Hey, I'm a bit late here and i hope you are still coping ok with this.

                            Have you had your son brought to a sti clinic and tested? I know you said that he did not sleep with her and this might help prove he didnt.
                            She was tested and the doctor told the cops she said she was forced into sex?
                            Did she have any STI's? Because if she HAD an sti, say chlamydia, and your son does not have chlamydia, this can somewhat prove he didnt have sex with the girl.
                            Chlamydia is really infectious.
                            Im guessing that she does have sti's, or why was she getting tested?

                            Good luck.
                            Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

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