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Feel rubbish and nervous about posting (first post!)

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  • Feel rubbish and nervous about posting (first post!)

    Well, where do I start! I am the wife of someone falsely accused of rape. We are quite far in the process, hubby was arrested at end of '09 and was charged at end of '10 it's a historical claim by his ex's underage daughter. We are still devastated we're going through this. I have a daughter and my hubby is allowed to see her as long as it's supervised, which are the obvious bail conditions! Although social services dropped their involvement after 4 months!! And he cant stay here, which as its now been 18 months, is so hard!

    Im just having a rubbish day! Nothing in particular has happened just finding it hard to budget with the legal fees we need to pay each month (we do have legal aid but its still cost us nearly 8000), struggling with feeling like this is dragging on and struggling with the sick feeling in my stomach that the court case is looming for July.

    It's word against word and so it is down to whom the jury believe and Im so worried that they will believe her over my husband. My husband is one of the nicest people you could meet (yep, im very biased! ) and to see him going through this is so hard. I can't stop thinking of what life would be like without him if he was found guilty, Ive been through a lot and a tough cookie but the more I read about prison the worse I feel. I do try to be positive but I cant help feel that if I dont prepare for the worst then if it was to happen it would hit me a lot harder. We also have debt, well I have a little husband has a lot and Im worrying about that too!

    Sorry if Im rambling on, i've watched the forum for quite a while and know that there are other people out there who have been here. I havnt come on here for sympathy or anything like that, just to chat to people if Im feeling down when hubby has gone back to his Dads! But if anyone does have any advice on how to stay with my head up, it would be appreciated!

  • #2
    new too

    hi noodles
    I only joined yesterday and how I wish I had done earlier, Our stories are so alike hun. like you we have endured 18mth of hell with my 70yr old partner who was wrongly accused of historic sexual offences against younger family members.Unfortunatly he was pressured by his legal team to plead guilty in return for a shorter sentence as they thought he had no chance of a jury finding him innocent and as a result was sentenced to 16 years in prison today. My teenage daughters and myself were just left with no-one to turn to or even able to find out where hed been taken. We are devastated and sitting worrying for him and ourselves as we have been threatened by his former family for many months. I know only to well how you feel , Its something that you cant talk about to anyone , I felt such a relief yesterday when I came accross this site to be able to talk openly- its a nightmare thats never ending and you wonder if there is a normal life ever again. Another part of the nightmare has just began for us, I feel truly let down and judged by his legal team and again alone and scared .Only a while ago I was still at the same point as yourself.I will re read your post tomorrow and see if there is anything I could offer you any support with but at the minute I would just like to say I truly understand what you are going through.Stay strong and take care .xx

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    • #3
      Hi Noodles, welcome to the site.

      There isn't any specific way of keeping head above water, other than plodding on and trying not to dwell on it.

      Yes, there is always the worry that the jury will believe the other side, but all you can do is try to make sure you have as good a defence as possible and hope for an intelligent jury.

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      • #4
        Hi noodles - my advice is - just keep posting - it doesn't have to be anything to do with your case, there's a topic under general discussions where you can just chat.
        And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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        • #5
          Hi Noodles and welcome. I'm sorry you had to find us but glad you did.
          Don't be nervous, we will do all we can to provide support!

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