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Need advice -Falsely accused of rape last night

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  • Need advice -Falsely accused of rape last night

    Yesterday afternoon I wen to to a friends house to watch football. This 23yo girl (I am 28) I had met online earlier in the week stated that she wanted to hang out so I agreed to go pick her up and bring her over. Before I left to go get her I let her know that we may have to sleep at said friends house because we would be drinking and I refuse to drink and drive. She agreed and even stated that she would bring something to sleep in. Keep in mind, most of our conversations took place via text message so everything I am stating here can be proven.

    Also, this female had sent me several nude picture messages prior to us meeting. When we got back to the house everything was going great. She seemed to be really laid back and we were all sitting around drinking beers laughing and carrying on. As the evening went on we began to become more friendly. She was showing me her "cute thong" she was wearing and then sat on my lap. A little bit later we kissed for the first time and it became obvious that my friend was feeling like a third wheel so the femal called over one of her friends to keep my friend company. She even stated in the phone call to her friend that she needed her to come hook up with my friend because she was trying to sleep with me. When her friend got to the house we decided to run up to the bar around the corner for a few more drinks.

    Everything was fine at the bar as we were dancing and making out pretty much the whole time. Shortly after we got back to the house she asked me to go in the bathroom with her and when I did she started making out with me and one thing led to another and we wound up having consentual sex. She was actually the one that initiated the whole thing!!! When we got out of the bathroom we joined my friend and hers and continued to hang out for about another half hour. Mind you, nothing was said to my friend or her friend about what happened in the bathroom.

    While my friend and I were outside smoking a cig her friend had left and we found her asleep on the couch. I tried to wake her up by kissing her and when I did she jumped up and ran to the bathroom. When she exited the bathroom my buddy was there by the door and could tell she was upset so he started asking her what was wrong. She didn't answer him at first and proceeded to walk outside like she was leaving. My friend followed her out there and then came back inside stating that she had just called the police because she stated that I had raped her.

    Of course, I waited around for the police and when they got there they immediately handcuffed me and put me in the back of the car where I remained for approx. 2 hours. The detective then got me out of the car and asked if I would be willing to give a statement and I told him the story just as I have written on here. He let me go and has set an appointment to meet back with me at 10am Monday morning. What should I expect? The anxiety is killing me! To think that this female could have me put in jail just because of what she says drives me nuts. I would lose everything if this happens and I guess I'm just needing some advice. Please help!
    Last edited by Saffron; 11 October 2010, 06:58 PM. Reason: putting in paragraphs for clarity

  • #2
    Hi there, I'm so sorry to see that you have needed to come to this site - however, there are a lot of experienced and knowlegeable people who come on here. I, sadly have little to offer other than my sympathy as I am pretty new here. I really hope this meeting with the police goes ok.

    People who know how to address your concerns will be along. Best of luck for tomorrow - I think people here would say to ensure you have a lawyer with you.
    False Accusers Beware: You have chosen to dine at the Karma Cafe. There is no menu: you will just get what you deserve.

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    • #3
      Hi Devine, sorry you're here. Firstly, any texts, emails etc from her proving your side - get them out of your home and store them safely. Get a friend to look after them, buy a new phone, copy all emails to a CD or usb stick and store away from your home.

      As you are now a rape suspect, police can and will "stop by" first thing in the small hours to seize anything which will help their case. This means anything capable of holding digital media. This means the things which hold the evidence which could help YOU.

      Sad to say it, but police are not there to establish the truth. The fact is a rape allegation's been made, and as far as they're concerned that is the truth. Their whole job now will be to gather evidence to gain a conviction on you.

      Do NOT think that the police are there to be fair. Far from it. This is why you do not allow them to have access to anything which could help you, as they will take it off you and conveniently lose it in order to hinder your case.

      You need to find a specialist solicitor in this type of case, duty solicitors are rarely any good.
      First thing though, get any evidence which can help you to a safe place. Fast.

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      • #4
        Thanks for your advice CS

        I may have a problem based on what you just told me. The detective last night took my cell phone stating that he needed it for evidence. He did ask me to bring the charger tomorrow for our meeting so that we can go through the texts tomorrow. I pray that he doesn't conveniently lose it. I feel like this keeps getting deeper and deeper.

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        • #5
          Okay, not a lot you can do on that. If it's got evidence on it which doesn't help his case, but does help you, then it's more likely to go awol.
          What I personally would do is take a disposable camera and demand to take photos of the texts on the screen, so you have some proof should the worst happen. He shouldn't have a problem with it, as it's your phone and there's nothing illegal on it. If he does, then that should tell you something.
          Note: It has to be a disposable, NOT a digital, as anything digital he will seize if it's in your possession, no matter who it belongs to. You can pick up a cheap disposable camera in most chemists, and their focus is set to a foot or two to infinity.

          Take the charger along, and play it by ear, would be my advice.
          Last edited by LS; 11 October 2010, 12:47 AM.

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          • #6
            Hi,

            A frightening story as in what have you done wrong, the same scenario probably is played out somewhere every night (except for the rape allegation of course)

            One quick query: I know you said you were handcuffed but were you formally arrested and cautioned? If not you aren't on police bail and so your appointment is voluntary.

            Obviously you must go but use the couple of hours until then to prepare and LS has given some excellent advice.

            Realistically, you won't be able to get hold of a solicitor of your own choice until office hours unless you have a 24 hr number, so there isn't much time. At least collate what you want to say on paper and ask for a private meeting with a solicitor before speaking to the police (duty solicitor if you can't get one that you know) to discuss this with him. Some solicitors suggest just giving the police a statement and not replying to questioning, but this is a matter to discuss beforehand.

            Please don't make the mistake of not having a solicitor because you are innocent, as LS rightly says the dectective is only interested in proving your guilt and you need support during the interview.
            'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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            • #7
              Welcome

              Welcome to this site but sorry you had to find your way here. If you read through some of the other threads you will find MANy people who have been in the same sort of situation. It is a terrifying situation to be in as so much is out of your hands but you really need to keep your wits about you. Take heed of what others have said on here and we will try to support you the best we can. Please keep coming back.

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              • #8
                Hi, are you in England? If not, it may make a difference to any advice given.
                And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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                • #9
                  im sorry you find yourself in a position were you need this site its a terrible accusation to find your self in
                  , people on here have been in or had some one close to them in your situation. your not alone . I found this a big help.
                  Last edited by 0990; 12 October 2010, 02:24 PM. Reason: typo error

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