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  • #1

    My Ordeal

    Hi All,

    Been lurking for a few weeks and have decided to finally post and share my story and get your thoughts on it.

    Two weeks ago I might a girl offline on the pretence of having sex with her. When I picked her up she was not all that appeared to be. I went to a pub to use the toilet (no drinks ordered) and then made an accuse that I had to go home and dropped her off at home thinking nothing more of it and happy to be away from her. During the brief time I was with her c. 15-20 mins I made no physical contact with her whatsoever, not even a handshake. I drove home about 45 mins away down the motorway and thought nothing more of it.

    About two days later I got a call from the DC saying I had to go to the station immediately, and was subsequently arrested for rape!!! My world turned upside down I couldn't believe what had happened. I took the legal aid and he recommended all there questions which I agreed with as I had nothing to hide.

    It came to light she accused me of raping her in my car 20 mins after leaving the pub in a wooded location (she didn't know where though), even though it was a town centre and she lived there. My solicitor said the allegations where ludicrous and stated the police can easily see that her story was preposterous and couldn't see the case going anywhere and to not worry as he had never been involved in such a short alleged rape interview. Was released on bail pending forensic and phone records, where she explicitly stated she was looking to have sex this is worrying me the most as I fear that it will work against me. I made phone calls on the way home and the journey is littered with ANPR cars which have all been passed onto the police and been reassured by police via my solicitor all lines of enquiry will be investigated.

    However, I'm still incredibly worried and can't seem to focus on anything and constantly think of going to court and having my career destroyed!

    Really interested to get all your opinions?

    Manor x
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  • #2
    If you have been lurking then hopefully you have read the forum.
    Sorry you are here but:
    [1] Email the text to yourself. Keep all evidence. If you lost you phone you have a back up right?
    [2] Smart phone - install ACR Automatic Call recorder & keep it on for all inbound/outbound calls.
    [3] If FA is on social media do not contact here but screenshot any pages that could help you - bragging about the FA etc
    [4] Do not investigate further...do not post...do not have contact in any manner shape or form.
    [5] Read here www.shrink4men.com about NPD & BPD characters....any resonates.
    [6] Pick up a cheap digital voice recorder & use it.
    [7] Write anything you can think of down that is relevant in a hard backed (Not loose leaf) book. Use the wisdom of carefully selected crowds - trusted friends & family. Not all will see things you way & those that challenge you will be the best to learn from.
    [8] You are not alone. I am hopeful for a positive outcome given the tone of what you have said.
    [9] Always have a duty solicitor with you no exceptions at interview. None

    Come back often...
    Mr B

    Comment

    • #3
      Originally posted by Mr B View Post
      If you have been lurking then hopefully you have read the forum.
      Sorry you are here but:
      [1] Email the text to yourself. Keep all evidence. If you lost you phone you have a back up right?
      [2] Smart phone - install ACR Automatic Call recorder & keep it on for all inbound/outbound calls.
      [3] If FA is on social media do not contact here but screenshot any pages that could help you - bragging about the FA etc
      [4] Do not investigate further...do not post...do not have contact in any manner shape or form.
      [5] Read here www.shrink4men.com about NPD & BPD characters....any resonates.
      [6] Pick up a cheap digital voice recorder & use it.
      [7] Write anything you can think of down that is relevant in a hard backed (Not loose leaf) book. Use the wisdom of carefully selected crowds - trusted friends & family. Not all will see things you way & those that challenge you will be the best to learn from.
      [8] You are not alone. I am hopeful for a positive outcome given the tone of what you have said.
      [9] Always have a duty solicitor with you no exceptions at interview. None

      Come back often...
      Mr B

      Hi Mr B,

      One of bail conditions was to not contact her... couldn't think of anybody else I'd rather not speak to.

      Police have phone to obtain data from it.

      Thanks for your advice, will hopefully be able to find some comfort in sharing this horrendous ordeal with other going through similliar difficulties.

      Comment

      • #4
        Hello Manor
        Mr Bs advice is spot on.
        You do need to prepare for this to take a while as these things tend to drag on.
        Not necessarily because they have a case but that forensics on the phone (if they bother) is always working with a backlog and takes forever!
        Try not to panic as this is the standard procedure when an allegation is made.
        The police are told to believe the claimant and will attempt to build a case around the statement made by the complainant.
        It is a nightmare to live with it in the meantime but stay strong, we here have been through it in one way or another and survived!
        You'll get through it.
        Big hugs
        YoH

        Comment

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