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I sent her a message saying im sorry i raped you to my ex and now i'm suffering.

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  • I sent her a message saying im sorry i raped you to my ex and now i'm suffering.

    Unhappy I sent her a message saying im sorry i raped you to my ex and now i'm suffering.
    I write this as the time will come where I will be fasley accused of something that never happened. I will be accused of raping someone where we had an extremely rough break up 2 years ago .

    Although she may have a message saying "I raped you and i forced you to do things you didn't want" .because I was talking to.... so many girls behind her back and when she found out I would try to hide it. Since then I did change my number, deleted my social media and tried to move on, all before I would fight to keep her. she wanted the number of all those girls I was talking to. She wanted to tell them what a dog I was. I refused many times but at one point I gave up and wanted it all to be over so I did and then it all started on social media with a "hate group" saying who I was and saying not so nice things behind my back. Giving my number out, giving her number out. Some how, with the help of someone wanting to take me down she was able to download all my what's app conversations and even showed me an image of the download software and a number asking who this was. She had access to all the conversations with he girls. The abuse continued. I just wanted it to stop and end, i'd admit to all of it just for it to stop and she could blame me for everything. just wanted everyone to be okay and move on to try and get on with our lives. I didn't care I just wanted all the abuse to stop, all the screaming, crying and pain to stop just to stop. This is why I sent those messages, because i would admit to anything to ease her pain. All through this time it was her exams and this stress took a toll on it. She failed, it made me things worse, she asked me to change the results somehow and I asked someone... it wasn't possible. I had ruined her career, her life and ambition. Since the "incident" we had met up multiple times with no issues, kissing and holding hands. and even touching each other sexually.

    She hated me, and rightly so, i was dishonest and messed her about in the most important time of her life. she would call me and abuse me all the time and I would just take it and aplogise for how i treated her and how dishonest I was. Until I had to change my number in November 2014. We had stopped talking until she emailed me around March 2015 to see how I was and wanted my number. i said we will just end up fighting or arguing she said we wouldn't. So i gave her my work number. first few months were fine and then it started again... all the abuse, I hate you, you ruined my life, i wish i never met you. But the guilt i felt I couldn't just leave her. I would do anything to help her, i would ask her 100000 times what can i do. she always said its for you to find out!!!

    She says she's going to the police and does this every few months threatening me to do something about it. to help her. i ask her not to because of the message she has. The incident that happened was in the back of my car where she gave me oral sex while she was sat down and was laying down with my legs across her. i can remember 5/6 times that same thing happened where we were in the car and she wanted to give me a blowjob in the car. twice we drove around looking fr a quietish area and she would It was her idea. This even happened in holland park twice in daylight. we both said lets go somewhere quit in all these occasions. I NEVER forced her physically or with emotional blackmail. I never said if you dont we will break up or anything along those lines. I had neevr forced her to do any of those things. The time she is talking of is when I was laying down with my legs on her and for me to get her to do anything I would have to get up. she knew that I had done those things previously and she wanted to do them as well. I know i sent the message but it was all because I wanted it all to end. I've let her verbally abuse me since we broke up because I feel guilty of being such a dishonest partner.

    Sending that message was a mistake a weak moment on my part where I would just accept for the failing of the relationship so she has closure yet not realising the consequences it will have. She has said she will go to the police before and I've told her not to. Not because I did what she is accusing me for but.. because of how it will destroy my marriage, my family and everything I have because... I sent that message without thinking. without realising ehat i'm sayng.

    She has called, text, whatsapp'd me so many times that i've lost count. i had to delete whats app because of this. then she would harass me more. This has been going on for two years and she has said I'll give you one week to do something or she will go to the police.

    What chance do I have because of those messages??

    anyone?

  • #2
    This is a difficult one.
    Because you have admitted to a serious offence and she has this as her evidence, it will be used against you if this is taken to court.
    All you can do if it does is explain why you sent the message!
    This will be your defence.
    Then it's up to a jury if they believe your explanation.
    There's no definitive answer to what your chances are.
    Just make sure your solicitor knows why you sent it.
    Nothing has happened yet, so try not to panic!!
    Don't send any more messages that aren't true!!!
    Keep any messages that you have and any evidence that may support your side of the story.

    What do you mean when you said that she's given you a week to do something or she will go to the police? Do what exactly???


    YoH

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by YearsOfHell View Post
      This is a difficult one.
      Because you have admitted to a serious offence and she has this as her evidence, it will be used against you if this is taken to court.
      All you can do if it does is explain why you sent the message!
      This will be your defence.
      Then it's up to a jury if they believe your explanation.
      There's no definitive answer to what your chances are.
      Just make sure your solicitor knows why you sent it.
      Nothing has happened yet, so try not to panic!!
      Don't send any more messages that aren't true!!!
      Keep any messages that you have and any evidence that may support your side of the story.

      What do you mean when you said that she's given you a week to do something or she will go to the police? Do what exactly???


      YoH
      She's been threatening me with those for 2 years. The only transcript I have is when she don't and our I was talking to someone else and wanted me to give her phone number to her to prove I was sorry for being a jerk.

      Since the incident we have met up 5/6 times for days out with no problems. Hugging kissing and even sexual stuff the. She even met me last year and we had a good time.

      I've got a log of all the miss calls on my phone and would be happy for he police to get my call log and see how often she tried to call/text.

      I has told her I was sexually abused when I was younger and she would also threaten to tell the police that happened to me or to tell my family

      Comment


      • #4
        Based on what you have written, she does not sound like a nice person, but equally the whole relationship dynamics sound very unhealthy for you both.

        Have you considered buying her a new phone as a treat? As a good bye gift.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by soulbug View Post
          Based on what you have written, she does not sound like a nice person, but equally the whole relationship dynamics sound very unhealthy for you both.

          Have you considered buying her a new phone as a treat? As a good bye gift.
          I had offer to take her places, I even paid for her resit exams which she blames me for. I've sent her all sorts of gifts. Shes always harassing me. I even helped her get her company up and running

          Comment


          • #6
            Your truly under her control, I would take a look through all your messages between you two, see how the messages and threats have lead you to make statement with regards to rape, as the previous messages and your constant help you have offered her, may just show she is using you and has almost black mailed you into making rape statement by text.

            Look at all messages as if you was investigating a case and see how it all reads, also build up a time line of situations where you feel you where made to help against your will, look for her bullying you.

            Your single statement of rape in a message, when looked at carefully amongst the messages that proceed it, may well paint the exact picture you describe.

            Start working it out and be prepared, even refuse to help and let her text you, I imagine a barrage of threats will flow in your evidencal favour for the future if required.

            Comment

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