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Falsely accused - feeling alone. Please help????

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  • Falsely accused - feeling alone. Please help????

    My family are split, it is me and mum who are blood and then you have my step father, his son and daughter. It is my step fathers, sons daughter that has made the allegation. She is a minor, she has claimed that it has happened 4/5 times over the space of the year. Allegedly I was in the room on two occasions when it happened, yes I did share a room but over my dead body did this happen. My partner was on bail for 3 months, then he was interrogated and they kept pushing him and pushing him, but like he said why should he admit to something he hasn't done. Then he has been put on bail again for another 3 months.

    The girls mother, and the minor involved have been very jealous of my mother and myself for a long time and how my two daughters are being brought up. The girls mother married a man who has groomed an 11 and 15 year old, this is a fact as he can be searched on the internet. When this happened my step father went mental and told my step niece what he was, my mum rang the school where she went to tell them surely this isn't allowed,but she got told that social services are fine about providing he is supervised. Which I know he wasn't when he was around her, even now she takes days off school to travel to London with him, and goes out with him weekends delivering takeaways til early hours of the morning. Her real father is a cocaine addict. She came to my house as she said it was a safe heaven, as her real father had different women coming and going and she told me she could hear everything plus he talks dirty in front of her and swears at her, her mother is always horrible to her and she told me her step dad touched her and called her a f++++++ C+++ all the time. Apparently this is normal. My other half never had anything to do with her she was always with me, we were joint at the hip, I used to take her shopping as her parents used to say they never had any money.

    She has been sexual since 2013 at the age of 11, which I told her mum and she hated me for that but we talked about it. Even her own father knows she is lying. Because of her we have SS involved, lost jobs, having to sell the house as the police have sent it to CPS and the police keep saying it will go to court. It is so unfair when we have done nothing, the reason for the allegation is either a vendetta, jealousy or fantasy. She does hear voices, takes anti psychotic drugs, suffers anxiety and depression, and never sleeps this has been the same and started at the age of 11.

    We have never had any problems or involvement with the police. We are both at our wits end, we are not worried as have nothing to worry about but the fit rating bit is she is point blank lying. Please are there other people out there that this has happened to, we feel alone. Thank you

  • #2
    Frightened

    We are just so fightened, I know the police try to get you on friendly terms to get information from you. I have even printed off evidence just so they can get an idea of her character from a social media site, since she was 11 she has talked about sex etc, the police now have this as evidence part of me was scared to give it to the police but I am drip feeding them information some I have kept just in case it goes to court. I was worried that it could go against my partner, thinking the police will say it is because of him she is like this but the solicitor said they can't as it goes back 2013, she is claiming it happened from summer 2014 to summer 2015, which is bull as she wasn't even here then. I have two baby girls, he is not allowed to see them he has lost his home, he was sleeping rough for a bit. The police really don't care,they are not even looking into the other side of her family at all. I am just so torn, angry and very bitter inside.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hello Charliegirl & welcome to the forum,

      You obviously wrote your op while understandably emotionally charged so I am going to try to summarise it rather than attempt to edit as I don't want to lose any detail.

      Your partner was arrested (and interviewed under caution?) about 6 months ago, then bailed for 3 months. He was then interrogated (your wording!) and rebailed for three months.

      The allegation was rape(?) of your stepfather's granddaughter who was 12 at the time the offences were alleged to have occurred on various dates between summer 2014 and 2015.

      You have looked after the girl as a niece, stayed with you in your house etc, and she has been grateful for this.

      Hopefully I have got this right; if not please correct me....

      Just a couple of queries: You mentioned that he has a solicitor, that's good, hopefully he has experience in defending false allegations, however he cannot do very much unless your partner is charged with the allegation.

      SS involvement was inevitable because of your daughter's ages (are these your partner's?); and I guess he was obliged to move out under the threat of them being taken into care if he didn't. Is this split and the resulting disruption why you have both lost your jobs and are having to sell your house?

      The general advice from members who have been in your partner's situation will be, if you have evidence that the allegation could not have happened, do not give it to the police without consulting the solicitor first. What happens is that the police then reinterview the complainant regarding this and as a result they may change their story, dates, etc, to suit this fresh evidence citing trauma or PSTD to explain their initial 'forgetfulness'!
      'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Charliegirl View Post
        We are just so fightened, I know the police try to get you on friendly terms to get information from you. I have even printed off evidence just so they can get an idea of her character from a social media site, since she was 11 she has talked about sex etc, the police now have this as evidence part of me was scared to give it to the police but I am drip feeding them information some I have kept just in case it goes to court. I was worried that it could go against my partner, thinking the police will say it is because of him she is like this but the solicitor said they can't as it goes back 2013, she is claiming it happened from summer 2014 to summer 2015, which is bull as she wasn't even here then. I have two baby girls, he is not allowed to see them he has lost his home, he was sleeping rough for a bit. The police really don't care,they are not even looking into the other side of her family at all. I am just so torn, angry and very bitter inside.

        if she has talked about sex since she was 11 then the police and Crown would say that this is probably down to any sexual abuse she "suffered" (and they will say that the perpetrator is your partner). This could work against you.

        Drip-feeding the police information probably won't help your partner's case. It may well help theirs. I would stop that right now.

        If you read other threads you will see how things work (and don't work).
        People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

        PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

        Comment


        • #5
          Oh bugger

          I have consulted the solicitor and he knew that I was giving that to the police, he had nothing g to say on the matter apart from it will give CPS an idea of her character. Now I am regretting doing this, they can't say that my partner was the perpetrator from the age of 11 as she only started coming to my house from summer 2014 to summer 2015, she used to come with her father before but only for an hour and that was with her brother plus her dads girlfriend at the time. Police won't be able to say that. I don't trust the police at all, now I am hoping they don't use it against him. They have no reason to as she has said a date when it apparently happened and that isn't try as she was with me all night and I was in the room with her. Just need any help from now.

          He is on pre charge still, it will be 6 months on bail in March thanks xx

          Comment


          • #6
            I hope you have a good outcome but be prepared that you wont ( this happened to my son )

            they are not interested in the families backgrounds all the Police and CPS want is a conviction, id be very suprised if he does not get charged even with all thats gone on with the FA

            These re-bail dates mean nothing.

            It will be her word against his and if she is a minor they will believe her.

            This is our realiity welcome to our world.

            Just be prepared for the worse outcome obviously I will hope for the best for him and your family at least you have come to this forum so you will get help read all the threads you can to get an idea on how these things work.

            Sorry not good news but this is a daily occurence on here!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Charliegirl View Post
              I have consulted the solicitor and he knew that I was giving that to the police, he had nothing g to say on the matter apart from it will give CPS an idea of her character. Now I am regretting doing this, they can't say that my partner was the perpetrator from the age of 11 as she only started coming to my house from summer 2014 to summer 2015, she used to come with her father before but only for an hour and that was with her brother plus her dads girlfriend at the time. Police won't be able to say that. I don't trust the police at all, now I am hoping they don't use it against him. They have no reason to as she has said a date when it apparently happened and that isn't try as she was with me all night and I was in the room with her. Just need any help from now.

              He is on pre charge still, it will be 6 months on bail in March thanks xx

              The police are not your friend not matter how nice they might appear.

              Anything useful keep to yourself from now on. Hold on in there.
              People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

              PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

              Comment


              • #8
                So Gullable

                I feel so silly now as the DC involved said " he is a good man" don't want to send a man down with a young family, bla bla bla, how Gullable am I. They said not all cases go to CPS bla bla

                Thank you for all your help everyone. At least you getting me back to reality a bit, I am scared etc I know it isn't going to be an easy ride

                Comment


                • #9
                  Please try not to feel silly. Many people who have never been in trouble before do the same thing, believing that the police will investigate both sides. Sometimes they do but often they don't.

                  Now you know just keep anything else that crops up that could help, under your hat!
                  People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                  PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
                    Please try not to feel silly. Many people who have never been in trouble before do the same thing, believing that the police will investigate both sides. Sometimes they do but often they don't.

                    Now you know just keep anything else that crops up that could help, under your hat!

                    Thank you for the advice. I appreciate everything, it has destroyed my mums marriage, my relationships, our whole world. All I do is cry and ask why???

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Charliegirl View Post
                      The girls mother, and the minor involved have been very jealous of my mother and myself for a long time and how my two daughters are being brought up. The girls mother married a man who has groomed an 11 and 15 year old, this is a fact as he can be searched on the internet. When this happened my step father went mental and told my step niece what he was, my mum rang the school where she went to tell them surely this isn't allowed,but she got told that social services are fine about providing he is supervised. Which I know he wasn't when he was around her, even now she takes days off school to travel to London with him, and goes out with him weekends delivering takeaways til early hours of the morning. Her real father is a cocaine addict. She came to my house as she said it was a safe heaven, as her real father had different women coming and going and she told me she could hear everything plus he talks dirty in front of her and swears at her, her mother is always horrible to her and she told me her step dad touched her and called her a f++++++ C+++ all the time. Apparently this is normal. My other half never had anything to do with her she was always with me, we were joint at the hip, I used to take her shopping as her parents used to say they never had any money.
                      Not quite sure if i kind of could make sense of this bit (have young children and lack of sleep lol) but is there a 'clear enough' motive in here? My OH's allegation came because friends of there believe we phoned the social services on them, (the whole,you try and ruin my family, i try ruining yours scenario) do you think they think you done something similar in order to try and make things aware about the step dad, some peoples motives are that they made a small lie to someone that got out of hand and had to make an excuse why they lied (by making another lie) or anything. Its not quite neccesary now but it is worth thinking about because it may be good to try and find things to help support the reason of the motive.

                      And don't feel bad about passing stuff on, i passed on heaps of screenshots, my thoughts and stuff - loads of emails before i came to this forum and realised i shouldnt (hangs head in shame) i guess you're thinking the same as myself, anything to help them see the truth and get the investigation done quicker, but unfourtanatly i doesn't work like that.... keep strong h xxx
                      "Only True Love Can Survive This"

                      -Hubby was accused - arrested in June 2015 - re-bailed December 2015 - NFA'd March 31st 2016 - SS allowed him back home to our family April 2016-

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hello 88

                        Hi,

                        Thank you hello 88 along with all the others who have very kindly taken the time to reply, I have since found out that a 35 year old man was actually having a full on conversation with her in a sexual way,( of which My OH never did) this has been given to the police as apparently there is evidence of the conversation. They had my partners phone and there was nothing. Which I knew anyway.

                        I feel that your right Hello 88, as the same day she made the allegation she posted on all social media and told people the following statement " ha ha you thought stupid me I would forget" it is defiantly a vendetta as away at getting back at us. The more I am putting the picture or puzzle together thanks to all of you, I am beginning to think they wanted to get at me and what better way then making an allegation against my OH or her mum has found hard evidence of something she has been up to and they are using us as scapegoats. She got expelled from school, she came to me, she ran away from home, came to me, bunked off school the parents came to me thinking she was here when she wasn't, I do know a lot of facts about the family as she shared everything with me, but when she told me that her stepdad had touched her I politely reminded her of his background and she went mental at me, that was the last time she came and even her real father said he wouldn't be surprised if something was going on between her and her stepdad. My head is spinning I am emotionally drained xx

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Charliegirl View Post
                          Hi,

                          Thank you hello 88 along with all the others who have very kindly taken the time to reply, I have since found out that a 35 year old man was actually having a full on conversation with her in a sexual way,( of which My OH never did) this has been given to the police as apparently there is evidence of the conversation. They had my partners phone and there was nothing. Which I knew anyway.

                          I feel that your right Hello 88, as the same day she made the allegation she posted on all social media and told people the following statement " ha ha you thought stupid me I would forget" it is defiantly a vendetta as away at getting back at us. The more I am putting the picture or puzzle together thanks to all of you, I am beginning to think they wanted to get at me and what better way then making an allegation against my OH or her mum has found hard evidence of something she has been up to and they are using us as scapegoats. She got expelled from school, she came to me, she ran away from home, came to me, bunked off school the parents came to me thinking she was here when she wasn't, I do know a lot of facts about the family as she shared everything with me, but when she told me that her stepdad had touched her I politely reminded her of his background and she went mental at me, that was the last time she came and even her real father said he wouldn't be surprised if something was going on between her and her stepdad. My head is spinning I am emotionally drained xx

                          Make sure you get a copy of the Facebook status, it could really help,I know it's hard but try to keep positive and use rational thinking.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Help re solicitors etc

                            Anyone know if any solicitors in Devon specialising in FA work please

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Stephen Nunn


                              http://www.nunnrickard.co.uk

                              Based in Exeter.
                              People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                              PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                              Comment

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