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**WhyUs** · 9 July 2015, 02:22 PM

Hi YoH

Sorry to hear this. Hopefully it is just to clarify a couple of points. I cant really offer advice as my husband only had one interview.

Fingers crossed it doesn't lead to a charge. Please try not to stress to much, but I know what you are going through. The whole thing is absolutely torture and there are no words to describe some of the feelings I went through.

Stay strong

**AmandaF** · 9 July 2015, 02:42 PM

Hi YoH!

I can completely understand the panic you must be feeling- it's always the not knowing/ second guessing (we had so much of that) that drives you to despair.
Hope it all works out in your favour.
Let us know what happens

**Casehardened** · 9 July 2015, 02:52 PM

The likelihood is that new evidence has come to light (and bear in mind that this might be in his favour, the FA might have tripped herself up!) and in the interest of fairness this will be put to him for a response.

**YearsOfHell** · 9 July 2015, 03:00 PM

Thanks guys
I keep telling myself that nothing has changed from 4 hours ago and it may not be bad news.
Desperately trying to stay positive! That's what I would be telling others here in the same situation!
Thanks all, I feel better just knowing we're not alone!
Whatever happens tomorrow, it's out of our hands.
They either believe him or they don't.
It's that simple. Our story has never changed whatever she comes out with.
Let's hope she's said something completely ridiculous and it's all over!

**WhyUs** · 9 July 2015, 03:50 PM

I think that is the right attitude to have. Although it won't stop you worrying. After 16 months I still panic when we get a letter or phone call but am able to have more rational thoughts and can reason better with myself

Just take one day at a time and I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Hope it goes well and as CH has said hopefully she has tripped herself up over her lies

**AmandaF** · 9 July 2015, 04:58 PM

Our story has never changed whatever she comes out with.

That's hit the nail on the head. Our fa's kept changing their stories even during the trial.
Fingers crossed for positives here

**jittery** · 9 July 2015, 10:39 PM

hi

Originally posted by YearsOfHell View Post

Thanks guys
I keep telling myself that nothing has changed from 4 hours ago and it may not be bad news.
Desperately trying to stay positive! That's what I would be telling others here in the same situation!
Thanks all, I feel better just knowing we're not alone!
Whatever happens tomorrow, it's out of our hands.
They either believe him or they don't.
It's that simple. Our story has never changed whatever she comes out with.
Let's hope she's said something completely ridiculous and it's all over!

Hi YoH,

I know my friend in W******* was called in for a second interview, in his case there was a first interview, his ex was told what he had said and she tried to make up a new story. In his case as CH has intimated may be the case for yourselves, it was to clarify a couple of points from her second statement. Hoping it's something similar here !!!

Stay strong YoH and all the best for your other half!

**YearsOfHell** · 10 July 2015, 07:27 AM

Hoping they see the truth!

Originally posted by jittery View Post

Hi YoH,

I know my friend in W******* was called in for a second interview, in his case there was a first interview, his ex was told what he had said and she tried to make up a new story. In his case as CH has intimated may be the case for yourselves, it was to clarify a couple of points from her second statement. Hoping it's something similar here !!!

Stay strong YoH and all the best for your other half!

Thanks Jittery.
I don't know what I'd do without you all!
Feeling sick this morning but a tiny bit hopeful!
It's the not knowing! It's soul destroying!
Praying my life away wishing it was over.
Staying strong for him as always!
Thanks guys
Big hugs!

**AmandaF** · 10 July 2015, 08:29 AM

Biting my nails for you guys!!
I soooo hope it's a big bunch of nothing.
It's time we had more bananas!!

**YearsOfHell** · 10 July 2015, 05:49 PM

Ok update.
Sorry for delay my head is thumping.
We have listened to lies upon lies being thrown around today!
I can't believe what these people can make up!
Lots of things that can be disproved immediately but some very bizarre ones too.
I have no idea what to do now.
SS are now being involved and I really dont want him to have to leave!!
My kids will be devastated! They love their Dad!
Wish I had some good news to report but it's all bad!!

**Rights Fighter** · 10 July 2015, 06:47 PM

If SS ask you whether you believe he is innocent do NOT say "yes". They will believe that you have been groomed.

Tell them that from the evidence you have seen so far, you can see nothing that would cause you any concern with the children. However, your children come first and always will, and if you see anything that causes you to doubt him, no matter how small, you would be prepared to review your position.

In the meantime, you will conform to any conditions SS might want to put into place - ie to not allow the OH alone with the children at all and that you will "supervise" absolutely everything in the household.

You are not doing this because you think he is guilty but because you want SS to see that you are being responsible and that you will adhere to any conditions they may put in place, in order to protect your children. This includes protecting your children from emotional harm and upset.

Obviously you accept that the children must come first - of course they do - and if their father has to leave the house this will cause them huge stress and anxiety and would do more harm than good, which is why you are prepared to "work with" SS with regards to "supervision".

And you must stick to it.

This is not about keeping the OH at home but keeping the children safe and happy. They would feel unsafe and insecure if dad had to leave. They would also be distraught. You want to avoid any situation that could cause any emotional harm to the children.

**YearsOfHell** · 10 July 2015, 09:45 PM

Thanks RF.
That's very sound advice.
I will take that on board.

**AmandaF** · 10 July 2015, 10:05 PM

When RF posted that advice on one of my threads I was horrified, but it really is the only way to go.
You have to be seen to be putting your children's welfare first, no matter how much it feels like towing the line.

I am so sorry it wasn't a better outcome for you today.
Hugs x

**YearsOfHell** · 11 July 2015, 08:35 AM

Originally posted by AmandaF View Post

When RF posted that advice on one of my threads I was horrified, but it really is the only way to go.
You have to be seen to be putting your children's welfare first, no matter how much it feels like towing the line.

I am so sorry it wasn't a better outcome for you today.
Hugs x

Thanks AmandaF.
I'm afraid I wasn't horrified as I think I am constantly being educated as to how the crazy world we live in works!
I keep saying it but this forum is a life line.
It's like we've been sent to another planet! Nothing works how we thought it did.
I'm really praying that you've had a breakthrough in your OH case!
You deserve some positive news after all the help you've been to me.
I'm sure others feel the same.

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