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Should i go to the police ?

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  • Should i go to the police ?

    So ive had a few problems come up from a fling and wanted to post here to try and get some advice ill try and make it has short and basic has i can . I was with a girl for 4 years and had 2 kids with her we broke up cus of her trust issues i really seen a side to her i didnt like so left i had a one night stand with a girl. We was seeing each other for about 4 to 5 weeks she told me that she came into the relationship pregnant and dint know if it was mine or a exs she then kept texting me saying she was having problems and had t be rushed down the hospital for a scan etc cus of loss of blood.I asked to come down but wasnt allowed. She went down around 5 or 6 times in 2 weeks she said. ( i didnt catch on at the time 3 weeks pregnant scan wouldn't show no baby or anything) but she told me that she has debit collectors after her father for rent and her and her father is gonna get kicked out this was stressing her and the baby out and was i able to help i then got a wonger loan out and paid it into her bank ( wanted proof) after the money went into the account she texted me saying there was never no baby and she just needed the money.

    I then told my kids mother everything and we was happy now this girl has told my kids mother i have forced her to do stuff when i was with her. My kids mother have said to her it happened a year ago now and you haven't gone to the police ? this girl; keeps saying she will not go to the police and that she cant because it was so long ago. Me and the kids mother both think this is wrong her saying stuff like this. I have now found out that she is also telling other strangers this stuff.She has 3 facebook accounts i block the one she makes another if some one writes on my wall and is female she will mail them and try and find out if im close to them then she spills her lies to them now my kids mother knows and a very close friend both does not believe her. I have set everything to private now so she cant see nothing.

    The day time she said it happened she seen me for 3 weeks after it happened coming down to my home in taxis and with her friends and this has only come out after i paid her debit off.I have sat down with my kids mother and we have talked we both think i should find a solicitor and write down the whole story and then go to the police the only problem is the £100 looks like i am paying her to shut up my kids mother says.
    It may sound silly but i have asked why she is spreading this around and ive had texts back saying i didnt ever rape her we both just went with our feelings at the time. These was saved on my phone but my kids chucked my phone into a fish tank. I put the sim into a new phone but there gone. I have told the bank about this scam that she was faking to be pregnant to gain money they have sent a letter to her house asking for the money back but was never given back. The bank then felt sorry for me so paid it back to me out of there own money.

    She has been making threats for over a year now im gonna go down etc im never seeing my kids again etc but has never gone i see her in the street with her family and nothing happens. So im thinking of going to the police and telling them everything because i haven't done nothing wrong and want her to get done for making all this up. She has been contacting my kids mother trying to get her to side with her to stop me from seeing my kids but my kids mother is backing me all the way.

    Its been a year and a half now nothing has happened police wise she try's to find stuff out like who im with and who my friends are then try's to tell them to stay way from me.It seems has tho she can just tell anyone anything she wants but then when they tell her to go to the police she says she cant and they even tell her they will go to the police if she doesnt and then she makes threats to them not to go.

    I have kids and a contact order and a close family mum etc who doesn't like talking about stuff like this and there are thousand people in prison who havn't done nothing wrong. I guess im just scared? On the one hand if i go to the police ill get arrested and maybe charged? Then everyone finds out i have been accessed off it. Or leave it and let her spread her lied about ? then let it bite me in the future ? I can honestly say i never raped her she was in control all the time. Has i said every text mail i have sent all say why are u doing this i have not done anything wrong. all i did was love u and this fake child.

    I must also add she has been having family problems all her life she has been running away from home there is also online newspapers asking for help to find her and bring her home before i met her.
    Last edited by shadow; 4 March 2015, 08:31 PM.

  • #2
    I'd say play nice with her, do your best to let her think you are understanding of her situation and get her talking. Save any useful information for yourself. I would not under any circumstance go to police without solid evidence that a rape did not take place. I'm dealing with an utterly obvious false accusation at the moment and the police are treating me like I am a convicted rapist, ignoring evidence I do have. It's a terrible experience

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Tdm View Post
      I'd say play nice with her, do your best to let her think you are understanding of her situation and get her talking. Save any useful information for yourself. I would not under any circumstance go to police without solid evidence that a rape did not take place. I'm dealing with an utterly obvious false accusation at the moment and the police are treating me like I am a convicted rapist, ignoring evidence I do have. It's a terrible experience
      Thank you and im sorry to hear about that. She is only telling my kids mother all of this and another girl i was dating back months ago.The thing is i know for fact she wouldnt go to the police because its untrue and thats why its been a year and a half nearly and she hasnt gone. Just really cant be having it her spreading all of this. I donno whats worse the police investor gating or her telling my kids mother i did ****.

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      • #4
        I see your point and probably would have thought the same way before I became involved with my dilemma. You going to the police may well instigate her making a formal complaint of rape against you which will lead to an investigation. Be cautious. You will likely get a response on here from a solicitor who comments on almost everything. They will offer advice from a legal perspective, I'm just stating what it is like to be investigated. Good luck to you

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Tdm View Post
          I see your point and probably would have thought the same way before I became involved with my dilemma. You going to the police may well instigate her making a formal complaint of rape against you which will lead to an investigation. Be cautious. You will likely get a response on here from a solicitor who comments on almost everything. They will offer advice from a legal perspective, I'm just stating what it is like to be investigated. Good luck to you
          I was thinking of finding a solicitor and then sitting down with them write out the full story but has you said maybe its best to get more proof first like u said because once its in the police hands there is no slowing down so need to get things together before hand.

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          • #6
            Tdm has made some very good points: you know this girl (the accuser) better than us; when the police invite her into the comfortable surroundings of the rape suite (no cells & interview room for her!) to discuss the allegation, is she going to elaborate on the theme or admit she made the story up?
            'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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            • #7
              At this point there wold be no legal aid so you would have to pay a solicitor. It's really not worth it at this juncture unless you have money to burn.

              If she does report this to the police, obviously the bank would provide evidence that they reimbursed you for the load you took out with Wonga - that's a generous bank! Information from the phone might be rescueable if it is necessary.

              As others have said, if you go to the police they will begin an investigation. I've visited too many men in prison who thought they would "nip it in the bud"....
              People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

              PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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              • #8
                I need help now

                please help, my 17 yr old daughter has said I raped and sexually assutled her,which I didn't,i have never seen my wife so sad im beat cant go on help please.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by robbiefowler1 View Post
                  please help, my 17 yr old daughter has said I raped and sexually assutled her,which I didn't,i have never seen my wife so sad im beat cant go on help please.
                  Robbie, start your own thread to get better results. Perhaps reconsider your user name to protect identity of you and your daughter. Also, give a bit more detail and what you want to know rather than just asking for help. If it's general help you seek, there are some good threads here you can read over.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by robbiefowler1 View Post
                    please help, my 17 yr old daughter has said I raped and sexually assutled her,which I didn't,i have never seen my wife so sad im beat cant go on help please.
                    Originally posted by Tdm View Post
                    Robbie, start your own thread to get better results. Perhaps reconsider your user name to protect identity of you and your daughter. Also, give a bit more detail and what you want to know rather than just asking for help. If it's general help you seek, there are some good threads here you can read over.
                    Good point; if the OP wants to start a new thread with another username I will delete these posts.
                    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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