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  • Advice please

    Hi
    I'm new to this but it's plain to see we aren't the only people going through this horrible ordeal.
    My partner has been accused of rape.
    He had consensual sex with a woman to which she obviously felt used or guilty as she had a partner.
    She reported him of rape, he's been charged at station and has a court date, I am supporting him as he is not a rapist. He made massive mistake, and has hurt me dearly, which I should be punishing him for! But Instead her lies have brought our world crashing down.the thought of all this pain And hurt over lies! I cannot Understand how someone can be this evil.
    I'm after any advice, or possible outcomes of which others have experienced.

  • #2
    Advice please

    Cat
    I'm so pleased for you I read your thread from start to finish, and was waiting for you to update as you stated feb 2015.
    I bet your so relieved. Is there any advice you can give me, it's her word against his! And this whole thing is killing us!

    Thanks

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Swirl View Post
      Hi
      I'm new to this but it's plain to see we aren't the only people going through this horrible ordeal.
      My partner has been accused of rape.
      He had consensual sex with a woman to which she obviously felt used or guilty as she had a partner.
      She reported him of rape, he's been charged at station and has a court date, I am supporting him as he is not a rapist. He made massive mistake, and has hurt me dearly, which I should be punishing him for! But Instead her lies have brought our world crashing down.the thought of all this pain And hurt over lies! I cannot Understand how someone can be this evil.
      I'm after any advice, or possible outcomes of which others have experienced.
      Hi Swirl.

      I'm sorry that you have found yourself on this forum abut there is a lot of information here that can help you. The link below can tell you a bit about what to expect.

      http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

      Your partner needs to write down everything that they remember about the time of the alleged incident.
      Also you probably need to ask the moderators of this forum to move your post to your own profile or it will get lost in mine and won't get as many responses as you may need.

      Comment


      • #4
        [QUOTE=Cat;52361]Hi Swirl.

        I will attempt to do that not sure how!

        My partner has already done that, it's so detailed even down to the horrible details that I don't really want to hear! But I accept he has cheated on me and right now we are just concentrating on the lies of this woman. Our relationship can wait! We just want it all over, yet it's only just beginning.
        Did you get a specialist to represent your son?

        Comment


        • #5
          [QUOTE=Swirl;52363]
          Originally posted by Cat View Post
          Hi Swirl.

          I will attempt to do that not sure how!

          My partner has already done that, it's so detailed even down to the horrible details that I don't really want to hear! But I accept he has cheated on me and right now we are just concentrating on the lies of this woman. Our relationship can wait! We just want it all over, yet it's only just beginning.
          Did you get a specialist to represent your son?
          Your partner is lucky he has you to support him. It's a horrible situation which you have no control over and can be overwhelming at times but you have to have faith that justice will overcome in the end. I am no expert but these cases do come down to one person's word against another in the end as for obvious reasons no one else is present.

          Try to think if there are any reasons why this person would falsely accuse your partner. Have a look at her social media pages if you can and if there is anything relevant take a screen shot of it. Keep anything you find to yourself and only share with your solicitor. Do not trust the police they have targets to meet and are not interested in proving innocence.

          My son had a duty solicitor present when he was interviewed by the police and after making some enquiries we decided to stick with him as he had a good reputation. The duty solicitor recommended the barrister who was fantastic. Both never doubted my son's innocence and were supportive.

          There is a sticky on here with recommended solicitors in different areas of the country, I ll see if I can find it for you.

          http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ght=specialist
          Last edited by Cat; 13 February 2015, 03:54 PM. Reason: Added link to solicitors

          Comment


          • #6
            Thank you got your replies,
            The person who's accusing we don't know her name. So we can't look at social media etc!
            Yeah there are a few reasons for her doing it that I can guess at! Felt used, as he didn't want anything else, he knew he'd made a massive mistake, but she emplied that she did. She also has a husband as far as I'm aware, so probably guilt. but she told him so many lies during the time the incident happened that she may even be lying about that.
            My parther has been through IT with me over and over, everything is so detailed, I cant understand how it's even got this far!
            His representative at the station told him this would go no future, yet he was charged and due in mags in few months. Which we have been told will be directly referred to crown

            Comment


            • #7
              Swirl, if you start your own thread then people are more likely to see there's a newbie on the board and will step forward to welcome you
              People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

              PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
                Swirl, if you start your own thread then people are more likely to see there's a newbie on the board and will step forward to welcome you
                Hi Swirl & welcome to the forum,

                I have moved your posts to their own thread as per RF's suggestion
                'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thanks CH. This OP might have thought she was being ignored buried underneath scores of dancing bananas! At least now hopefully folk can come in and offer support......
                  People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                  PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thank you, not sure how to start threads!
                    Just want and need advice
                    Thanks

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      A mod has done it for you.

                      To start another thread if you need to, go to the link to the FA bit

                      http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/f...usation-Issues

                      Then to the sub forum you want such as

                      http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/f...ccused-of-rape

                      Look to the top left and you will see


                      +Post New Thread.


                      You need to put a title/subject on it of course.
                      Last edited by Rights Fighter; 14 February 2015, 03:06 PM.
                      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Swirl, our solicitor also said at the outset that it wouldn't go any further meaning that my son would not be charged. It seems that the CPS are charging Falsely Accused people a lot more nowadays. To me it seems to be a complete waste of public money and everyone's time.

                        All cases go to magistrate's court first then get referred to crown court. I think my son appeared in crown court twice before the actual trial.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Yes we have been told the same in regards to crown court twice before trial.
                          It's tearing our family apart, can't think about anything else. How someone can do this without having any thought as to what the causes of this are to an innocent family.
                          Day by day it doesn't get any better, and knowing he's innocent and yet having to go through all this!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I know exactly how you feel. Unfortunately it is out of your hands now. You won't get any paperwork until after the first appearance in crown court. Until then you have to try and get on with your life and put it out of your mind if you can otherwise it will tear you apart. Try and do other things and not talk about it all the time. I know how hard this is to do but try. Maybe decide that if you are going to think / talk about it you will do it for just one hour a day then try to put it out of your mind.

                            You will have good days and bad days but it does get a little easier to live with as time goes on & hopefully it will all work out ok in the end. Get a good barrister to represent your partner in court and have faith in the justice system.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Easier said than done, as you already know. Good advice in regards to setting time to speak about it.
                              I really appreciate your advice and any more you are able to give. We have already lined up a solicitor and barrister, but it's havng no faith in the justice system that worries us.
                              We'd like to think that all innocent people are proven innocent but it's not always the case. And that is what worries us.
                              I will continue to stand by him, no innocent man should go through this at all let alone on their own.
                              Thanks again if you have any more advice we would appreciate it

                              Comment

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