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Falsely accused of rape don't know what to do

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  • Falsely accused of rape don't know what to do

    I am a real mess at the minute I need some advice or support ill start by telling my story.

    I am 19 years old and was on a night out late August last year with a group of close friends we all drank a lot of alcohol and by the end of the night one of my friends had a big argument with his girlfriend and went home leaving me with his girlfriend who was a friend of mine and her friend. By this point all the pubs had shut she told me she lost her house keys and had nowhere I got us all in a taxi and asked the driver to go in the direction of her boyfriend to see if he had them but we all ended up at my house having a few drinks after a while her friend left and in a stupid drunken state I slept with my friends girlfriend... It tore me apart the next day that I did that to my friend but we both agreed it was best not to tell him the following night we all went out again it was really hard for me to act normal being with my friend and his girlfriend who I slept with behind his back the next day I carrie don drinking as I was so down and ended up walking to his house to tell him what had happened man to man as soon as I told hi, he was so angry and didn't let me explain after that he confronted her and she said she didn't remember anything and reported rape to the police, with her friend backing her story up. The next day I was arrested and interviewed and released on bail I have been retailed since then but can't stop thinking about it almost been 6 months and its killed me every day it's tore my family apart and created a lot of friction in my social life I don't know what to do my new bail is in a few weeks I don't know what to expect! I haven't done anything wrong but its likely ill have to go to court and have my face all over the local news all because of a lie. Or I might have to face another 3 months of bail its getting tough now

    Clearly the case looks bad because she was drunk but so was I!!!! She says she doesn't remember much but I know she does and god knows what her friend has said to back her up

    I'm a good person I've never been I'm trouble with the police I always do right by people I made a bad mistake sleeping with a friends girlfriend and I regret it every minute but She came on to me how can that be rape!,
    Last edited by Mk34; 15 January 2015, 09:52 PM.

  • #2
    Sorry you are having to go through this.

    You say you all went out in a ggroup the following night. Do you have any photos/texts etc of that night? Or maybe someone in the group is willing to offer a statement to show that she clearly was not behaving towards you as if you had raped her. Also I find it in your favour that she only cried rape once you were man enough to own up to sleeping with your friend's girl.

    It seems a cop out in my opinion for her to claim not to remember anything then claim rape?

    I hope all will turn out well for you. Keeping fingers crossed for you.

    Xx

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by changethelaw View Post
      Sorry you are having to go through this.

      You say you all went out in a ggroup the following night. Do you have any photos/texts etc of that night? Or maybe someone in the group is willing to offer a statement to show that she clearly was not behaving towards you as if you had raped her. Also I find it in your favour that she only cried rape once you were man enough to own up to sleeping with your friend's girl.

      It seems a cop out in my opinion for her to claim not to remember anything then claim rape?

      I hope all will turn out well for you. Keeping fingers crossed for you.

      Xx
      yes there is pictures and friends can back it up also I doubt she will denie that we went out the following night she did drop a few hints on Facebook a few hours after it saying she couldn't remember rainy thing but at the time I took that as she was fishing to see if I would say anything

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      • #4
        No worries

        You're 19 years old. The girl you slept with after a drunken night must be 18+ otherwise she was breaking the law by getting drunk underage.
        Two drunk people, both of legal age, sleeping together is going to stimulate a sexual encounter on any planet.
        Your biggest crime is that you have messed up your relationship with your mate, and your maximum sentence for this crime should be a broken nose administered by him.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Phil Free View Post
          You're 19 years old. The girl you slept with after a drunken night must be 18+ otherwise she was breaking the law by getting drunk underage.
          Two drunk people, both of legal age, sleeping together is going to stimulate a sexual encounter on any planet.
          Your biggest crime is that you have messed up your relationship with your mate, and your maximum sentence for this crime should be a broken nose administered by him.
          Thanks phil you are right I shouldn't of done that to my friend but this whole police thing has really taken the spotlight off it... She was not 18 she was 16 but thats still above legal age according to police and I was 18 at the time my friend also 18 she uses a fake id in town and she hangs around with a lot of people my age so it all seems normal and me or my friends never looked at her as 16 it all just seemed normal

          Comment


          • #6
            chill

            If she's into fake ID's so she can drink and party downtown, then you should chill and rest easy. There's no way her words will win her any votes in a court of law because she is simply "asking for it".
            Relax my friend. I was accused of rape by my own daughter two years ago, and I am now slowly coming back to life.

            Comment


            • #7
              There are a lot of friends in this story, lol, but all joking aside this is what you have in your favour, it is not the usual one night stand/post-coital regret/rape accusation scenario that frequently crops up on here.

              The key to this is the account your mate's girlfriend's friend will give/has given; if she confirms that all three of you went willingly to your house and the girlfriend was happy to stay when she (the friend) went home then there is not much of a case against you. After all, why would the girlfriend not go home with her friend?
              'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Phil Free View Post
                If she's into fake ID's so she can drink and party downtown, then you should chill and rest easy. There's no way her words will win her any votes in a court of law because she is simply "asking for it".
                Relax my friend. I was accused of rape by my own daughter two years ago, and I am now slowly coming back to life.
                Asking for it? In what sense?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Phil Free View Post
                  If she's into fake ID's so she can drink and party downtown, then you should chill and rest easy. There's no way her words will win her any votes in a court of law because she is simply "asking for it".
                  Relax my friend. I was accused of rape by my own daughter two years ago, and I am now slowly coming back to life.
                  Drinking and "partying downtown" is asking to be raped? How can that be logical?

                  You can use the fact that she uses fake ID in that it shows that she is not particularly honest, but obviously that does not mean that the one necessarily follows the other, fake ID, drinks, becomes drunk and then is raped because "she was asking for it".

                  That is not a defence by any stretch of the imagination.

                  Being drunk puts her in a vulnerable situation which could end up in her being raped.
                  People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                  PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by edinashed View Post
                    Asking for it? In what sense?
                    I apologize for my complicated expression which left you confused. To clarify my meaning, by "Asking for it" I was intimating that she was "wanting sex". Does that help?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      She may well have wanted sex (in a hypothetical case) but has the right to choose she has it with.
                      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Phil Free View Post
                        I apologize for my complicated expression which left you confused. To clarify my meaning, by "Asking for it" I was intimating that she was "wanting sex". Does that help?
                        This website caters for victims on both sides and I was just intimating that perhaps you should avoid using language like she was "asking for it."

                        Comment

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