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  • Accusations, defamation and civil court

    Hey all

    I'm just asking for some advice if anyone knows much about this side of things.

    Over a year ago I was falsely accused of rape by my girlfriend after I'd found out she'd been cheating on me. She never took this to the police (so far), just spread it around all our friends and associates that I'm a rapist/abuser. She obviously didn't want to be known as the cheater she was and decided to make herself the victim, ruining my life in the process. She's now married the guy she was cheating on me with, while I'm left with zero interest/trust in females any more and happy to be forever alone. Anyway I may be coming into a little money soon, and I fear she might take things further on catching wind of this, hoping for some 'easy' cash.

    My question though is in regards to civil courts and the defamation law. I understand I'm able to file a lawsuit against her for defamation but I'm not too sure how this all works, or costs, what I will need etc. I have MSN chat logs of the first half of our relationship saved, which show without a doubt she's making everything up. She claimed the rape happened couple of years before I'd even met/starting talking to her, so whatever is in these chats are AFTER her concocted date. These include instances of her asking me if i'm a virgin and stating she is too (lol), inviting me round while her parents were out, begging me for sex, being completely infatuated with me, among other things. We basically spent most evenings chatting to each other online back then so there's loads of em. I also have friends who she texted slanderous things about me to trying to get them on her side (they told me they'd save the texts in case I needed them).

    Any advice? Would those chats be able to be referenced and used in a case? They are basically my lifeline.
    Last edited by shockedlad; 10 August 2014, 11:53 AM.

  • #2
    Hi,

    One of our members has looked into this and rather than deflate your balloon I'll just post the link!

    http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...pe-allegations
    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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    • #3
      Thanks, I think since my accuser hasn't reported it to police then the part that applies to me out of that is;
      If a person makes false allegations to your friends and family via text message or email for example or verbally or on facebook or other publications then yes you can make a claim, provided you have enough evidence.
      Anyone have any idea of the kind of costs involved?

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      • #4
        I can fully understand you wanting to take that action. However if you do she may then feel obliged to report it to the police and even though you have evidence to prove it isn't true it is hell going through the police investigation process.

        My advice would be to hold on to all your evidence in case you needed in future and walk away from all those sad people who have nothing better to do that spread lies about you. That being said I fully support your right to defend you character, just warning you there could be unforeseen consequences. Best of luck either way.

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        • #5
          I know of one guy who attempted to sue his ex for defamation (to SS after the guy and his wife applied to become foster carers) and when they realised they were going to lose, hey presto her daughter made false allegations of sexual abuse to the police - and he did time for offences he never committed. It's really not worth the risk.
          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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