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  • Help me please Not rape but sexual assault

    Hi,

    My son is 16 years old. He is awesome. Never been in trouble, good student, been in Army Cadets for years, doing DoE silver, very fit, has successfully applied for Marines and is waiting a start date.

    One day 3 weeks ago his 15 year old girlfriend arranged to meet him by text, she met him and they had a 'petting session' as I would call it.

    That weekend he was arrested for sexual assault as she claims he forcibly touched her when she was asking him to stop.

    We are bailed to return on 4th May, not yet charged. Absolutely heartbroken as a family.

    Several things ...

    She said in her statement they had accidentally met but she had texted him the day before to meet at 4 at the park (lied in statement)

    He texted her later on after the alleged assault to see 'You are hot', she replied 'thanks', he sent 'love you so much', she answered 'love you too'.

    She then sent him the day after a message that she had met with her friend (my sons EX) and her friend says my son forced her .. my son texted back I didnt .. she said I said stop you didnt listen .. he says I didnt .. she said you made me feel like I couldnt say no (contradiction?) he says I dont understand but if I have upset you then I am sorry

    She then sends him various messages all day saying my mum has rung police and asking repeatedly have you told your mum and ring me now He keeps saying Im sorry I dont understand what I have done

    She asks him in this conversation to delete all the pictures of her that she has sent to which he replies I have .. she then tells him I have told my mum and the police that I am not talking to you any more so you dont get in any more trouble so delete all these messages (lied to police there)

    Last December my son synced his iphone to his laptop which he rarely does and it downloaded onto it several pictures of her she has sent him which are naked or just in underwear

    The police interviewed him, said all through it you keep saying sorry, is that for what you have done? He says no its cos I have upset her and dont know what to say (His previous gf was a self harmer and suicidal and trained him basically to apologise for everything - he is only a kid for gods sake!)

    They didnt mention the lies she had told, or the pictures she had sent, or the fact she was texting him after saying she loved him


    I dont know what to do, I cant eat, cant sleep, I feel like his life is ruined and cry all the time

    I have read some of these posts and really need some support Do you guys think he is likely to get charged? His career in Marines will be over before it starts. She has told everyone at school and he has to go back there on Monday after the holidays and everyone knows. I am worried sick for him.

    Social services have sent me a letter saying although they are taking no action at present they are aware of allegations and they have informed our daughters school (both in primary school) .. Can they do that?

    Please can someone advise me at 16 would he get a prison sentence for this?

    Please can anyone help us?

  • #2
    Wow...

    Your daughters primary school has most likely, and rightly, been informed in case something were to happen to your youngsters. It gives them a kind of 'heads up' to be vigilant. They have a duty to protect those in their care and any information which ensures that they are most able to meet this duty is what they will be supplied with. You may believe that they've been given every last detail but they will not have been. They will get a very brief snippet of info and some recommendations on how to proceed/what action to take. It will NOT be used against you or your family. I'd imagine that schools receive hundreds of these a year so they won't make any big deal of things. They may invite you in for a chat. No panics and keep things simple and private.

    As for your boy. JAIL??? Highly doubtful but of course dependent on the actual allegation. One allegation of sexual assault isn't going to result in jail time unless it is at the extreme end of the scale.

    My only concern is that he is 16 and she is 15. My concern is not a major one though, merely regards the age of consent. Courts of course deal with many thousands of cases regarding youngsters so their practices and processes are pretty robust and also, to a degree, understanding. If your boy was 21 and she was 15 then I'd be worried rather than simply concerned.

    If you still have the phone then make sure and 'synch' it again and keep ALL information from it. Download the whole lot, burn it to discs and store the discs where they cannot be taken by the Police. You may rely on these later.

    Question your boy, if you have not already done so, with regards to how the relationship was, if there were any rows and what his opinion is with regards to what has happened. It is not too difficult, as a youngster, to get a little carried away and potentially misunderstand what the other party thinks/wants. You can be the judge of what you know and advise him of your thoughts.

    I can't advise on how to proceed except to say that the Police are not your friends. Social Services are to be avoided at all costs. Keep any information to yourself and ONLY share it with your solicitor. Did your boy have a solicitor when questioned?


    As for the marines. Hardened bunch that can generally overlook minor issues. If asked, be honest! Integrity and loyalty are tantamount in the forces. I heard they eat worms!
    Wow... A signature option!

    Comment


    • #3
      I can't add to L1's excellent advice but it seems the crux of the matter is her asking your son to delete the revealing 'selfies'. She is obviously quite aware that these confirm an intimate consensual relationship or, at the very least, an invitation to one; in turn his defence will be that the 'assault' was simply part of a developing loving relationship.

      I can only echo L1's advice on not sharing the existence of these photos with the police without the agreement of your solicitor; if you did they will re-interview her regarding this and she may then come up with a convincing tale to explain sending them to your son.
      'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi sorry to hear of your troubles. The key point is when the girl says " You made me feel like i couldnt say no." feeling like you cant say no and saying "No" are two very different things. People are not mind readers, if the girl doesnt want things to happen but goes with the flow so to speak, then this is not unconsentual. Im no expert but to me that is how i see it. Its good advice never trust the police, and dont trust social services either. Get a good solicitor and stay strong as a family. Spend time as a family group , take your son out places on a weekend it will give him a feeling of normality and take his mind off things. Unfortunately this can be a very long process, but i hope it isnt in your case. Be conscious of your sons moods, being in this situation is 24/7 i spent months unable to think of anything other than my situation i just couldnt switch off from it. I have no family and few people to talk too. But i have always been resiliant, not everyone is like this so be vigilant with your son being so young. Have faith in the truth you have that on your side and its a powerful weapon. As you can see there are alot of good people on here living similar nightmares who can give advice, be positive and stay strong. good luck

        Comment


        • #5
          Heartbroken Mum

          So sorry to see you here but welcome anyway.

          You sound as though you are still in shock, this will probably last for about 4 weeks then lessen a bit. Tears, anger, insomnia are all normal.

          You have been given great advice already especially re the messages, pics etc.

          Your son needs to know that he is fully believed and supported and can talk about this to you but you need support too so come back here as often as necessary.

          I hope this is sorted quickly. Hopefully your son is now putting himself first and has lost his feelings for this girl. It's not a time for him to feel protective of her.

          Comment


          • #6
            The pictures create an issue.

            She's 15. There should not, technically, be any naked pictures of her in existence. I understand that she sent them to him but did he request them? The prosecution could turn it into 'he forced her to send pictures so he forced her to do x'.

            I know that is not what has happened!

            The problem is that the rules of the game are such that they will do anything to make even the simplest innocent thing seem like complete and utter unquestionable guilt.

            Don't give them any ammunition to make a potential defence more difficult.

            Your boy has had an innocent and most likely loving relationship. He's probably had a wonderful time and both parties have grown together and shared many wonderful moments and experiences.

            For whatever reason that is now over.

            It's a bloody shame.

            You and him now need to ensure that the relationship is ALL that is over. You need to tell him not to go anywhere near that female ever again in his life. She is clearly dangerous. Even if, and it's a big 'if', he has pressured her into something that she did not want to do I am sure that there are many methods of dealing with it other than running to the Police. I am not saying he has done anything, I am not saying she shouldn't have done what she has done, I'm not implying any guilt on either party I am merely saying that there are ways of properly resolving issues without the involvement of the law. She will gain nothing from reporting even 'if' she is being truthful.

            Please understand that I am on nobodies side in the above paragraph. I am not implying guilt. I am merely opening up the questioning and insight that you will need to fully understand and suitably question what has happened and what is going to happen. You need to ensure that at ever step of the way you remain fully informed and skeptical. Ask the questions just now while the pressure is low for later on it is easy to miss the simple stuff and get swamped with the complexities of complete nonsense.
            Wow... A signature option!

            Comment


            • #7
              I know just how you feel....

              Hi Heartbrokenmum

              Every time I read a similar tale of woe I just want to send out a virtual hug to those going through it!

              I was in a very similar situation between November 2013 and February 2014. My son was 14 when he was intimate with another 14 year old at a party. Before that night he knew of her from school but wasn't she wasn't a friend of his. She invited him to the party and targeted him when he and his friends arrived, due to drinking spirits he couldn't really defend himself as he couldn't remember what exactly happened - but the police tried to arrest him and interviewed him and the witnesses who were there to try and establish if a sexual assault happened. As she actively pursued him and other boys over the party weekend, then laughed and boasted of her conquests BEFORE getting into a heap of trouble from school - IF it had gone any further I'm sure the defence team would have made mincemeat of her testimony. However, before the police had concluded their investigations she realised what a mess she had got herself in and withdrew the allegation - so 3 months after the alleged offence took place we got a NFA from the police.

              Like you this took over our lives for a time - like your son my boy was doing very well on all fronts until the rug was pulled from under him. There are many problems with the justice system which makes the whole trauma of defending such an allegation a nightmare for boys. You've received some brilliant advice on here and it will help put it all into perspective. I'm no legal eagle but I know a lot more about the challenges you face than I did before October last year.

              1) the police are told to believe the victim, their view is "why would she make this up?" Not all little girls are sweet and you should try and work out WHY she is doing this and whether someone else - the troubled 'ex' you mention or her parents - are pulling the strings.
              2) as soon as a alleged sex offence is reported it goes on the police stats as a CRIME before it is qualified. A sex crime which isn't solved looks bad, so their is a strong impetus to get a conviction for the police to look good.
              3) if what she says happened is different to what your son says happened the police will submit her word as EVIDENCE without any witness statements or DNA or facebook comments to back it up. Her word is evidence your son's is not.
              4) don't give anything to the police thinking it may help them see sense - they will be very sympathetic to you but twist your evidence to support their prosecution - this happened to us and so many more people on here.
              5) the police are obliged to put a section 47 on your son which alerts SS to look if any other children are at risk. We tried to move schools to get my son away from the trouble and couldn't because the police hadn't done this - its routine and I don't think you should read too much into it. However I would contact the primary school and give them the bare facts from your perspective i.e. his 15 year old ex girlfriend is causing him trouble.
              6) my son was terrified about what me and his school friends and teachers would think of him. I hit all this head on by giving him my unconditional and vocal support - I went to school 5 or 6 times (he had 7 weeks off) and insisted they sent him work, they had strategies for dealing with the situation if the girl and him met. I was very assertive insisting no one viewed him as a rapist in any way. HE was the victim of a daft child, scared and angry parents and a stupid system. He saw only 1 or 2 friends who were very loyal to him and now its all blown over the girl is the one with a stigma not him. What I didn't know at the time was that she had a long earned reputation as a trouble maker and a liar. Only the police and her parents believed her! He really withdrew and still isn't as outgoing and confident as he was - he totally relied on me and my partner and his brother and his close friend. His world is still a lot smaller, but he's getting better as time passes.
              7) if she was consenting but at some point said 'no' and he carried on - if only for a moment it is still classed as an offence. I think the best evidence you have is the texts AFTER which indicate they are still friendly and flirty. What happened after that? If she regrets it or feels she needs to change her story to justify her behaviour to her parents that's different. The explicit photos help you, but it really comes down to what happened in the moment and whether he ignored her. No doubt he was very confused!!! The police told me that they knew she had given other boys oral sex after she alleged my son had assaulted her - but that didn't matter - all that mattered is had she claimed she had said NO to him. (although she was too drunk to remember anything else )

              Is your son just starting his GCSE exams? If he can't face school on Monday I'd make sure he has all his revision notes and let him hole up and revise. He will have covered the courses now. If he doesn't want to sit in the exam hall and risk being upset I'd get school to organise a separate room. If hes a good student the teachers will want to help him. My son is taking some a year early and his grades went up as he was off facebook and not going out!

              All my son needed was my unconditional support and the confidence that we had an excellent solicitor who was an expert. You will learn more than you ever wanted to know about teenagers and what they get up to - a real eye opener. But he'll bounce back quicker than you - you just need to ride out these next few months and try and keep him focused on the exams he faces.

              Good luck! xx

              Comment


              • #8
                similar situation

                Originally posted by tiger mum View Post
                Hi Heartbrokenmum

                Every time I read a similar tale of woe I just want to send out a virtual hug to those going through it!

                I was in a very similar situation between November 2013 and February 2014. My son was 14 when he was intimate with another 14 year old at a party. Before that night he knew of her from school but wasn't she wasn't a friend of his. She invited him to the party and targeted him when he and his friends arrived, due to drinking spirits he couldn't really defend himself as he couldn't remember what exactly happened - but the police tried to arrest him and interviewed him and the witnesses who were there to try and establish if a sexual assault happened. As she actively pursued him and other boys over the party weekend, then laughed and boasted of her conquests BEFORE getting into a heap of trouble from school - IF it had gone any further I'm sure the defence team would have made mincemeat of her testimony. However, before the police had concluded their investigations she realised what a mess she had got herself in and withdrew the allegation - so 3 months after the alleged offence took place we got a NFA from the police.

                Like you this took over our lives for a time - like your son my boy was doing very well on all fronts until the rug was pulled from under him. There are many problems with the justice system which makes the whole trauma of defending such an allegation a nightmare for boys. You've received some brilliant advice on here and it will help put it all into perspective. I'm no legal eagle but I know a lot more about the challenges you face than I did before October last year.

                1) the police are told to believe the victim, their view is "why would she make this up?" Not all little girls are sweet and you should try and work out WHY she is doing this and whether someone else - the troubled 'ex' you mention or her parents - are pulling the strings.
                2) as soon as a alleged sex offence is reported it goes on the police stats as a CRIME before it is qualified. A sex crime which isn't solved looks bad, so their is a strong impetus to get a conviction for the police to look good.
                3) if what she says happened is different to what your son says happened the police will submit her word as EVIDENCE without any witness statements or DNA or facebook comments to back it up. Her word is evidence your son's is not.
                4) don't give anything to the police thinking it may help them see sense - they will be very sympathetic to you but twist your evidence to support their prosecution - this happened to us and so many more people on here.
                5) the police are obliged to put a section 47 on your son which alerts SS to look if any other children are at risk. We tried to move schools to get my son away from the trouble and couldn't because the police hadn't done this - its routine and I don't think you should read too much into it. However I would contact the primary school and give them the bare facts from your perspective i.e. his 15 year old ex girlfriend is causing him trouble.
                6) my son was terrified about what me and his school friends and teachers would think of him. I hit all this head on by giving him my unconditional and vocal support - I went to school 5 or 6 times (he had 7 weeks off) and insisted they sent him work, they had strategies for dealing with the situation if the girl and him met. I was very assertive insisting no one viewed him as a rapist in any way. HE was the victim of a daft child, scared and angry parents and a stupid system. He saw only 1 or 2 friends who were very loyal to him and now its all blown over the girl is the one with a stigma not him. What I didn't know at the time was that she had a long earned reputation as a trouble maker and a liar. Only the police and her parents believed her! He really withdrew and still isn't as outgoing and confident as he was - he totally relied on me and my partner and his brother and his close friend. His world is still a lot smaller, but he's getting better as time passes.
                7) if she was consenting but at some point said 'no' and he carried on - if only for a moment it is still classed as an offence. I think the best evidence you have is the texts AFTER which indicate they are still friendly and flirty. What happened after that? If she regrets it or feels she needs to change her story to justify her behaviour to her parents that's different. The explicit photos help you, but it really comes down to what happened in the moment and whether he ignored her. No doubt he was very confused!!! The police told me that they knew she had given other boys oral sex after she alleged my son had assaulted her - but that didn't matter - all that mattered is had she claimed she had said NO to him. (although she was too drunk to remember anything else )

                Is your son just starting his GCSE exams? If he can't face school on Monday I'd make sure he has all his revision notes and let him hole up and revise. He will have covered the courses now. If he doesn't want to sit in the exam hall and risk being upset I'd get school to organise a separate room. If hes a good student the teachers will want to help him. My son is taking some a year early and his grades went up as he was off facebook and not going out!

                All my son needed was my unconditional support and the confidence that we had an excellent solicitor who was an expert. You will learn more than you ever wanted to know about teenagers and what they get up to - a real eye opener. But he'll bounce back quicker than you - you just need to ride out these next few months and try and keep him focused on the exams he faces.

                Good luck! xx
                i'm going through my own nightmare, never again will i trust anyone and take them in, why are girls and women so vindictive?

                http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...hild-sex-abuse

                Comment


                • #9
                  Nothing to add to what has been said,you will get great advice on here,advice I never in a million years thought I would need.
                  Wishing you the best of luck from a mum going through similar. x

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by lawlessone2009 View Post
                    Wow...

                    Your daughters primary school has most likely, and rightly, been informed in case something were to happen to your youngsters. It gives them a kind of 'heads up' to be vigilant. They have a duty to protect those in their care and any information which ensures that they are most able to meet this duty is what they will be supplied with. You may believe that they've been given every last detail but they will not have been. They will get a very brief snippet of info and some recommendations on how to proceed/what action to take. It will NOT be used against you or your family. I'd imagine that schools receive hundreds of these a year so they won't make any big deal of things. They may invite you in for a chat. No panics and keep things simple and private.

                    As for your boy. JAIL??? Highly doubtful but of course dependent on the actual allegation. One allegation of sexual assault isn't going to result in jail time unless it is at the extreme end of the scale.

                    My only concern is that he is 16 and she is 15. My concern is not a major one though, merely regards the age of consent. Courts of course deal with many thousands of cases regarding youngsters so their practices and processes are pretty robust and also, to a degree, understanding. If your boy was 21 and she was 15 then I'd be worried rather than simply concerned.

                    If you still have the phone then make sure and 'synch' it again and keep ALL information from it. Download the whole lot, burn it to discs and store the discs where they cannot be taken by the Police. You may rely on these later.

                    Question your boy, if you have not already done so, with regards to how the relationship was, if there were any rows and what his opinion is with regards to what has happened. It is not too difficult, as a youngster, to get a little carried away and potentially misunderstand what the other party thinks/wants. You can be the judge of what you know and advise him of your thoughts.

                    I can't advise on how to proceed except to say that the Police are not your friends. Social Services are to be avoided at all costs. Keep any information to yourself and ONLY share it with your solicitor. Did your boy have a solicitor when questioned?


                    As for the marines. Hardened bunch that can generally overlook minor issues. If asked, be honest! Integrity and loyalty are tantamount in the forces. I heard they eat worms!

                    The police seized his phone and laptop when they arrested him Thanks for your advice He was 16 three days prior to this 😔 I hope the Marines do still take him

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thanks so much for all the great advice it's actually in my head all the time Our family and his friends believe him 100% no question .. Even her friends are messaging saying she is a liar I am saving those messages I'm also screenshotting all her statuses like the day after the incident she is 'bored, like for an inbox' etc etc Obviously upset there by what's happened  Also this week where she says she is in a new relationship

                      I am a children's nurse and I know teenagers ... We have had some very awkward conversations over the last few days  but he has been brought up very well, and has 2 sisters and I know totally if she said no he would have stopped which is what happened After some touching and feeling she then said no He stopped then they kissed and cuddled for a bit longer then he left and all messages were indeed flirty and happy afterwards until she met his ex

                      When the pictures were sent they were both 15 years old Does that make a difference? There were conversations around the messages where she had offered to send them and asks does he like them

                      I rang a solicitor before the police even knocked on my door as this girl told my son she was going to police and he seems very, very confident Is this a good sign or just usual?

                      I am so desperately frightened for him  I've told him all his family love him and we know he didn't do this Even his teacher said No way, not him and offered a character reference for him

                      I've always told him women can be nasty and vicious (after all, I am one ) but my poor kid will probs never want another girlfriend again How the hell will he ever trust another girl? I've drummed it into him she does not care for you like you thought because if she did this wouldn't be happening

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by tiger mum View Post
                        Hi Heartbrokenmum

                        Every time I read a similar tale of woe I just want to send out a virtual hug to those going through it!

                        I was in a very similar situation between November 2013 and February 2014. My son was 14 when he was intimate with another 14 year old at a party. Before that night he knew of her from school but wasn't she wasn't a friend of his. She invited him to the party and targeted him when he and his friends arrived, due to drinking spirits he couldn't really defend himself as he couldn't remember what exactly happened - but the police tried to arrest him and interviewed him and the witnesses who were there to try and establish if a sexual assault happened. As she actively pursued him and other boys over the party weekend, then laughed and boasted of her conquests BEFORE getting into a heap of trouble from school - IF it had gone any further I'm sure the defence team would have made mincemeat of her testimony. However, before the police had concluded their investigations she realised what a mess she had got herself in and withdrew the allegation - so 3 months after the alleged offence took place we got a NFA from the police.

                        Like you this took over our lives for a time - like your son my boy was doing very well on all fronts until the rug was pulled from under him. There are many problems with the justice system which makes the whole trauma of defending such an allegation a nightmare for boys. You've received some brilliant advice on here and it will help put it all into perspective. I'm no legal eagle but I know a lot more about the challenges you face than I did before October last year.

                        1) the police are told to believe the victim, their view is "why would she make this up?" Not all little girls are sweet and you should try and work out WHY she is doing this and whether someone else - the troubled 'ex' you mention or her parents - are pulling the strings.
                        2) as soon as a alleged sex offence is reported it goes on the police stats as a CRIME before it is qualified. A sex crime which isn't solved looks bad, so their is a strong impetus to get a conviction for the police to look good.
                        3) if what she says happened is different to what your son says happened the police will submit her word as EVIDENCE without any witness statements or DNA or facebook comments to back it up. Her word is evidence your son's is not.
                        4) don't give anything to the police thinking it may help them see sense - they will be very sympathetic to you but twist your evidence to support their prosecution - this happened to us and so many more people on here.
                        5) the police are obliged to put a section 47 on your son which alerts SS to look if any other children are at risk. We tried to move schools to get my son away from the trouble and couldn't because the police hadn't done this - its routine and I don't think you should read too much into it. However I would contact the primary school and give them the bare facts from your perspective i.e. his 15 year old ex girlfriend is causing him trouble.
                        6) my son was terrified about what me and his school friends and teachers would think of him. I hit all this head on by giving him my unconditional and vocal support - I went to school 5 or 6 times (he had 7 weeks off) and insisted they sent him work, they had strategies for dealing with the situation if the girl and him met. I was very assertive insisting no one viewed him as a rapist in any way. HE was the victim of a daft child, scared and angry parents and a stupid system. He saw only 1 or 2 friends who were very loyal to him and now its all blown over the girl is the one with a stigma not him. What I didn't know at the time was that she had a long earned reputation as a trouble maker and a liar. Only the police and her parents believed her! He really withdrew and still isn't as outgoing and confident as he was - he totally relied on me and my partner and his brother and his close friend. His world is still a lot smaller, but he's getting better as time passes.
                        7) if she was consenting but at some point said 'no' and he carried on - if only for a moment it is still classed as an offence. I think the best evidence you have is the texts AFTER which indicate they are still friendly and flirty. What happened after that? If she regrets it or feels she needs to change her story to justify her behaviour to her parents that's different. The explicit photos help you, but it really comes down to what happened in the moment and whether he ignored her. No doubt he was very confused!!! The police told me that they knew she had given other boys oral sex after she alleged my son had assaulted her - but that didn't matter - all that mattered is had she claimed she had said NO to him. (although she was too drunk to remember anything else )

                        Is your son just starting his GCSE exams? If he can't face school on Monday I'd make sure he has all his revision notes and let him hole up and revise. He will have covered the courses now. If he doesn't want to sit in the exam hall and risk being upset I'd get school to organise a separate room. If hes a good student the teachers will want to help him. My son is taking some a year early and his grades went up as he was off facebook and not going out!

                        All my son needed was my unconditional support and the confidence that we had an excellent solicitor who was an expert. You will learn more than you ever wanted to know about teenagers and what they get up to - a real eye opener. But he'll bounce back quicker than you - you just need to ride out these next few months and try and keep him focused on the exams he faces.

                        Good luck! xx

                        I have just read your thread on your son and tbh I feel just as you did, as does my husband

                        We have money to throw at this in the hope a good solicitor will get this sorted .. Nothing is too much to bear for our boy She is at a different school, and all his friends (and hers) know she is a liar and he is quite happy to go to school he says I will be watching him closely and checking with him that he feels the same

                        I know my son is innocent .. our sol has already advised not to accept a caution but I would never have anyway

                        I will fight for him all the way if I have to I am ready! Just so gutted I have to 😡😠😡😠😡😠

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Just to say as well we were going to Florida three days after he was arrested and when we came out of interview the OIC said "You just forget about this and enjoy your holiday" ... Seriously? I nearly asked was he taking the mick? I feel like claiming the cost off her for the holiday £11,000 wasted!

                          My husband is determined to take out a civil action for slander and defamation of character against this girl .. I will just be happy if he is not being locked up! Has anyone any experience with this?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by HeartbrokenMum View Post
                             I hope the Marines do still take him
                            Gotta get rid of him somehow....
                            Wow... A signature option!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by HeartbrokenMum View Post
                              Just to say as well we were going to Florida three days after he was arrested and when we came out of interview the OIC said "You just forget about this and enjoy your holiday" ... Seriously? I nearly asked was he taking the mick? I feel like claiming the cost off her for the holiday £11,000 wasted!

                              My husband is determined to take out a civil action for slander and defamation of character against this girl .. I will just be happy if he is not being locked up! Has anyone any experience with this?
                              It would be virtually impossible, especially in the current climate, to succeed in any civil action. The law has swung far too far in the other direction with regards sexual allegations.

                              The only real route would be if she admitted she made it up. There is then various 'bars' to taking action against her. If she is dealt with via a criminal prosecution then the possibilities of you launching a civil case are limited. The law cannot be used to punish people in every way possible and as 'criminal' sits above 'civil' the criminal route would take precedent. It is also generally accepted that when an allegation is dropped that is the end of it. There are at that point far too many hurdles to overcome for a civil case to be possible. It would also be incredibly expensive.

                              Short of her coming out and stating that she made it all up I am afraid the best result is her simply dropping it. At the age of 15 I would very much doubt there would be any criminal prosecution and the Police would ensure that the apparent 'victim' wasn't left open to any action as it could potentially put off other 'victims' from coming forward. I am sorry to use the word 'victim' but it is not my point of view, it is what the gigantic 'industry' calls false accusers.

                              Locking up won't happen. Relax.

                              As for the pics. Your detail is good enough to to set my mind at ease. I wouldn't worry about them. I would, however, be a bit disgusted if I was the girl!!! A bunch of cops are going to be looking at naked pictures of her! Kind of sick in a way but she's aired her dirty washing now......
                              Wow... A signature option!

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