Announcement

**sparks** · 14 August 2013, 12:57 AM

Hello and welcome, but sorry you find yourself here and in this situation, the fact your husband has been on bail for that amount of time I would assume you have a legal team, it may assist you with some answers if you read through some of the members posts, but if you have any questions there will always be someone to help you find the answers or at the least offer some emotional support,
Sparks

**HKM20** · 14 August 2013, 01:13 AM

Thank you sparks

We are seeing a solicitor on Friday and she says she is getting a barrister on the case, we have legal aid forms but we are aware that we may need to fund half of the fees ourselves (which is disappointing). Just support from people who know what it is like going through this can truly understand what we are going through helps. We are terrified because she is a good actress and the thought of him going down an innocent man kills us. We have been told he needs to answer his plea in 3 weeks is just so scary. x

**Casehardened** · 14 August 2013, 05:58 AM

Originally posted by HKM20 View Post

(never happened as this person admitted to me she was lieing 10 years ago),

Hi,

I note from your reply on another thread that the police weren't interested in this (why doesn't this surprise me!) but of course you will be a key defence witness especially as you come over as a very articulate person.

Sorry to read your partner has been charged but this means you will get to read her statement and will be able to list the inaccuracies and prepare his defence statement.

As you obviously know the accuser fairly well you will be a strong member of the defence team. As you have looked at other members threads I'm sure you have taken on board the advice regarding engaging a specialist solicitor.

**sparks** · 14 August 2013, 07:18 AM

A plea trial, will is quite short, they will ask your husband to confirm his name and address and as the charges are read out he will be asked if he is guilty or not guilty, there may be a bit of legal mumbling from the prosecution and you barrister, if they both agree a trial date could also be set, the prosecution will then have a set time to hand over there evidence and an outline of their case, you will then in the course of the next week or so be given copies of all the statements evidence etc known as the depositions,

**frightened spouse** · 14 August 2013, 07:39 AM

Hi HKM20

Sorry to hear what you and your husband are going through, my family is in a similar situation but we are only 3 months in and still in the hands of the CPS. It is a horrendous experience that totally turns your world upside down, I know it's not much of a comfort but you are not alone.

The advice and support on this forum is amazing so keep looking in and posting when you feel the need. It appears very common that the police have no interest in defence statements, we have found this too. The positive is that you now have your chance to fight back, the whole process is very frightening but there are people on this forum who have taken this path before you and can give invaluable insight and advice.

Sending virtual hugs and strength

Frightened Spouse

**is there justice?** · 14 August 2013, 08:49 AM

Hi HKM20

Sorry that you are both going through this but welcome anyway. You have been given some good advice and are organised with a legal team.
These are the people to give any further evidence, discrepancies, general observations to, not the police who couldn't give a fig about a balanced approach.

Although being charged is scary, at least you will get an end to it all at some point. There are some very 'good news' results on here so take heart although there are no guarantees.

Hub's FA is also a consummate actress and very plausible so I know how worried that makes you feel. The difference is that only one of them will be telling the truth.

Stay strong, dig deep and prepare for battle. You aren't alone by any means, there are far too many going through the same hell.

**Boys don't cry** · 14 August 2013, 09:21 AM

HKM20.

Sorry to read that your husband has been charged.
At least it is the end of the unknown and the start to fight for the truth and freedom.

You will receive the final disclosure and read all the statements made.
Please ask your solicitor if she can get the unused bundle as well.

Keep confident.

**HKM20** · 14 August 2013, 03:32 PM

Originally posted by Casehardened View Post

Hi,

As you obviously know the accuser fairly well you will be a strong member of the defence team. As you have looked at other members threads I'm sure you have taken on board the advice regarding engaging a specialist solicitor.

Yes unfortunately she is his cousin it has ripped the whole family open for 15 years, her parents wouldnt go the police back then when my partner wanted go but they wouldn't budge! weeks before she first made the allegation she was on holiday with my mother in law and she crawled into her bed to go sleep cos she said she missed her mum and my mother in law thought ok and then she said as quote "my dad comes in bed with me and goes bed after" my mother in law then replied "after you go sleep" and she then said "No just after.......I want my mum now", She was that upset they had to take her home the next day! why she is blaming my partner i have no idea she and her family have always blamed him for everything when they were growing up if things went missing or wrong. I just cant get over it!

**frightened spouse** · 14 August 2013, 04:12 PM

Hi

Trawling through the threads and other stuff on the web can make you feel despondent as you look for reassurance, I know I do it all the time.

This afternoon I have spent time looking at my husband's case making notes of any emails/communications over the years that will cast doubt on the allegations. In fact any contact between my daughter and my family in the intervening years since the supposed assault(s). Also motive for making these claims. I don't know how much use it will be but it has made me feel a lot better. If you could do something similar it may help when you visit your solicitor.

Is the FA in your husband's case short of money at the moment ? there are generous compensation payments available to complainants even if a case does not reach trial or there is a not guilty verdict.

Best wishes

FS

**myhome** · 14 August 2013, 07:00 PM

Hi and welcome to the forum but so sorry you have had to find us. You have been given lots of great advice already. Your husband really does need a defence team which specialises in historical abuse cases. This is an awful time for you and an emotionally draining time too......we'll give you all the help we can.....keep strong....MH

**HKM20** · 15 August 2013, 12:52 AM

Originally posted by frightened spouse View Post

Is the FA in your husband's case short of money at the moment ? there are generous compensation payments available to complainants even if a case does not reach trial or there is a not guilty verdict.

FS

The girl is very money driven their whole family has been, they have done fraud and have had claims for everything going like whiplash and all sorts!
I have lost my job through being off with stress and my partner is fighting for his job (through ill health, and his workplace don't even know about this going on to scared to tell them incase they sack him!) and money is really tight for us. I can only think the reasons why she has done it is because we live in their nans home (which we brought and got a mortgage on it) and my partners mum used to care for her eldery next door neighbour who died and they think she left the house to her (she didnt though, so they will be disappointed to learn they wont get anything from that) and the house is up for sale, since that sign went up the police came knocking. so yeah she thinks she is going to get money out of this. no other reason to be honest, plus she has always been jealous of my partners close knit family because she hasn't got with her own family.

**HKM20** · 15 August 2013, 12:59 AM

I cant thank you enough It is such a relief to talk to people who know what its like. You'd think there would be support for people like us but there isn't any anywhere other than here! I have been told social services will be coming now my partner is charged (even though they didnt even bother coming see us when he was on bail) regarding the kids and we are terrified now, just feel so helpless!

**sparks** · 15 August 2013, 01:13 AM

Remember you are not helpless you are victims, SS tend to come across as judge and jury but you will have to work with them, do not give them too much information, and make a note of everything that is said, it might assist at a later date,

Sparks

**frightened spouse** · 15 August 2013, 08:10 AM

Hi

Have you checked to see if your husband's solicitor is experienced in defending cases of alleged historic csa, I can't stress enough how important it is to have a legal team that has a solid background in this area. If you post the region ( not too specific )that you are living in a forum member may be able to recommend a solicitor they have first hand experience of. The sol we have at the moment is ok but if my husband is charged we will definitely swap to a more experienced team.

As for SS, as Sparks said you just have to work with them, they are only doing their jobs. It is a horrible experience to have them snooping into your family but unfortunately in this situation co operating with them will be the easiest thing to do and hopefully the conditions they place on your husband's contact with the children will not be too stringent.

Take Care

FS

Announcement

Hi my partner has being charged, i need help!!

Hi my partner has being charged, i need help!!

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment