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  • #1

    Victim of a false accusation

    Hello, I'm new to this forum and stumbled on it while searching for answers. Here's the story:

    I have a partner of almost two years who is a police officer. She has a son of 15 who has made an allegation that I 'touched him inappropriately' almost two years ago near the beginning of my relationship with his mother.

    My girlfriend had told me that he was becomming more and more difficult as he was getting older, and had 'kicked off' a few times with her well before I met her. She is a single mother and has had a few turbulent relationships in her past and her son has no relationship with his father. Her son has damaged her property on occasions, threatened her, bullied her, made a false allegation of assault against her and is a proven compulsive liar. He has also been involved with drug use. He is now in foster care after being arrested for the second time after she kicked him out of the house. I have always tried to include him in everything we do, not as a father figure but simply as his mothers boyfriend. I have had two confrontations with him, one when I caught him lying to a relative about me and made it clear he was wrong (this was about three months into the relationship) and again fairly recently, just before he was arrested for the second time. Needless to say, I am innocent and we think he has made the allegation to delflect attention away from himself (he had been stopped by the police for anti-social behaviour at the time) and take out revenge on me and his mother.

    To cut a long story short, the police are involved and I have been interviewed (I went voluntarily so I have not yet been arrested). His version of events was presented to me and my solicitor and after the interview my solicitor advised me that he did not think the police would be able to take the case to court as there was not enough evidence and my girlfriends son was 'unreliable'. In other words, he believed it would be NFA'd. In fact, I should know by next Monday if they are going to take it further (I am prepared for the worst news incidentally - I have no faith in the 'justice' system). My girlfriend fully supports me and knows that her son is lying as do all of my friends and family, thankfully.

    I have heard today that social services has been to my ex-partners house (who also supports me) in the company of the police, to inform her that allegations have been made against me. We have a young daughter who lives with her mother but who stays with me every other weekend. I have a very good relationship with my daughters' mother and her new partner.

    What I'm struggling with is, how is it possible that simply by pointing a finger and saying 'he did it', without evidence, am I now having to face the humiliation of a police investigation, that I have to prove that I'm NOT guilty as opposed to being innocent until proven guilty? Even if it is NFA'd, it stays on record with the police and could be used against me in the future, if, God forbid, someone else makes an accusation against me. How do I clear my name completely, unambiguously? In the eyes of the police, NFA doesn't mean you didn't do it, just that they don't (yet) have enough evidence to prove you did. More importantly, why did social services go to my ex's house even before I have been arrested, let alone convicted?

    I'm so worried that this will affect my relationship with my ex and my contact with my daughter.

    Any advice would be appreciated.
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  • #2
    Welcome to the world of false allegations.

    Once an allegations is made SS are informed and the accused is immediately assumed to be guilty.

    You are right to prepare yourself for the worst - I've visited too many guys in prison who are absolutely bewildered at the speed they found themselves there. Their solicitors told them "this is rubbish and will go nowhere". On occasion the police officers involved had said much the same - yet there they are in prison.

    You need to start building a potential defence now. If the accuser has stipulated dates then see if you can find diaries/calendars/receipts for holidays away, for instance.

    You will need to "work with SS" and even offer to undertake an independent risk assessment if necessary, so you can see your daughter and other children can continue to visit you. It's ripples in a pond - if they find out that you have friends you visit who have children, then they may well approach them too. It really depends on the area you are in and the SW involved.

    Very best of luck and stick with us. Read other relevant threads and you will learn what to expect.
    People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

    PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

    Comment

    • #3
      Really sorry, this is grim!. Sorry indeed and welcome to this exclusive club! I can't give you any legal heads up - but just say that it often takes many (5+ in my case) months not a few days before decisions to NFA are taken. So prepare for a long haul.

      If you are not arrested, my understanding is that it won't become an entry on PNC, but others will correct me if I am wrong - hence won't appear on records.

      Also, if you are not arrested, you may not even get a formal NFA.

      I uderstand the Social Services Gestapo pile in sooner than the police when it comes to investiagting whather your daughter's visits may continue while you are under investigation.

      I am sure others will be along soon to give more help. Hang in there, we are all here to help!

      Best wishes

      Felix

      Comment

      • #4
        Hi there, I assume that you are in Wales, if you are in Gwent police area it may well take a while to sort this situation out - it took 16 weeks to get an NFA for Tony.

        I'm so sorry that this is happening to you - it is a nightmare, it is cruelty itself to you and yours, plus a massive waste of resources. Sounds like the lad is way out of control in the mid-teens, and is looking for ways to wriggle out of the situation he finds himself in.

        Also, if you are using yr own name or the name of a small town (I'm not a Welsh speaker) it would be best to change it as apparantly the police have been known to go on this site.

        Best wishes
        Jen
        False Accusers Beware: You have chosen to dine at the Karma Cafe. There is no menu: you will just get what you deserve.

        Comment

        • #5
          Don't worry Jen, it's not my real name or the name of the place I live. Felix, what's hilarious is the officer in charge of this case is part time!! Every time I call for information, I'm told she's not in the office for 5 days or so. Obviously the police are not in the least concerned about the damage the length of time it takes to investigate these allegations. If I had been arrested, according to this new ruling on bail times, she (the officer in charge) would not even have had the opportunity to interview me before having to release me! Lol, that's the first time I've laughed to myself in a while...

          Rightsfighter - I've already done everything you have suggested, luckily I keep a diary for work and I take alot of photos for posting on Facebook, to show my family (who mostly live abroad) what I've been up to. Combined with bank statements, I've been able to show where I was almost every day from the day I met my girlfriend to the day of the allegation. Unfortunately, the day my girlfriends son chose was a day I was staying with my girlfriend. She was apparently actually in the house when the event occured. Strange she didn't hear anything given his supposed reaction... There are many inconsistencies like this in his account.

          My girlfriend brought up an interesting point this afternoon: one of my human rights is a right to family life. The fact that the 'SS' has gone to my ex's house to tell her about the allegation before I've been convicted, charged or even arrested could be a breach of this, as their actions could put that in jeopardy. Does anyone have any comments on this?

          One thing I have noticed, going through the threads on this forum and others, and looking for information on the internet, is that there is alot of this kind of thing going on. There's alot of sympathy for the victims of the 'victims', but other than getting a good solicitor, not much more support can be given, as nothing is being done to change the status quo. For instance, any child can make an accusation without any evidence and the accused is put through the ringer to try to prove his/her innosence. And yet, without any evidence that they are, in fact, lying, the police will not charge the accuser with perverting the course of justice, nor investigate the suspicion, even if the case is NFA'd. How is this fair? Why is this allowed to happen? Is there a lobbying group to push forward changes in the justice system? How can it be right that the SS is even involved, given I have not been arrested?

          It's late and I can't sleep, but I'm away to try anyway. Thanks all for your replies, I am grateful for your support.

          Comment

          • #6
            Originally posted by Llywedd View Post
            How is this fair? Why is this allowed to happen? Is there a lobbying group to push forward changes in the justice system? How can it be right that the SS is even involved, given I have not been arrested?
            You're asking questions which most of us have also asked ourselves Some, including myself, have written to our MP's detailing our experiences in the system.

            There was no way that the last government, with Harriet Harmann at the tiller, was going to do anything except try to convict more 'rapists' and they changed the goalposts considerably with the 2003 Sexual Offences Act.

            I had a sympathetic reply from my MP with a promise to refer my letter to the shadow (at that time, pre-election) Home Affairs office, and to be fair the coalition have tried. They proposed anonominity for rape defendants unless convicted and Ken Clarke famously suggested that rape should be categorised by degree, but both these proposals were shouted down by the usual baying mob.

            Unfortunately this cause is not a populist one
            'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

            Comment

            • #7
              The (almost) worse case has happened...

              Well, the almost worst case scenario has happened: My ex-partner and mother to my daughter had her meeting with SS this morning and they've told her that I now how to have all my visits with my daughter supervised by a family member. The only thing that could be worse is that I couldn't see her at all, or that I'm actually convicted. Apparently, if my ex does not comply with the agreement, my daughter could be placed under a child protection order. I can't believe this is happening, I haven't even been arrested yet! It means I can't have my daughter stay over now unless someone comes and stays here with her, it means I can't take her to do any of the stuff we enjoy doing together. I've also been advise that even if the case is NFA'd, the SS may carry on with the arrangement indefinately. So now I'm in a position where I'm hoping it does go to court so I have the opportunity to clear my name.

              What's really frustrating is that the allegation was made six weeks ago and I gave the police my ex's address back then - they've been sitting on it for that long and I've had my daughter three weekends since. What about her best interests then?

              I'm so distaught by this, I don't know what to do, is there anything I can do?

              Comment

              • #8
                Providing an approved member of the family supervises there is nothing to stop you doing all the things you like to do with your daughter. See if you can find somebdoy to stay overnight with you (where the child can share the same bedroom as the approved supervisor).

                If you are NFA'd the SS cannot continue indefinitely. It would depend on the reason for the NFA and if you could get it "no-crimed" so much the better.

                Your daughter is entitled to her own family law solicitor so if things really do get worse with regard to SS (if you are NFA'd) then you can go down that route.
                People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                Comment

                • #9
                  I agree with rf see a family sol. Ss can not be allowed to threaten u once the police case is over. High risk strategy maybe but tell them to get if try more perhaps to get child protection order. See how they fare in court. However as I said high risk. But on the other side of the coin they only have the childs best interests at heart and after baby p and others I guess its better to play it safe than sorry. But this is some one speaking who no longer has ss involved. But it is important to stay whiter than white now, stay off radar and soon hopefully it will be over.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Hi,

                    As RF said, welcome to the world of false allegations.

                    I fully and completely sympathise with you, I had an 'experience' with my own stepson some years ago, having looked after, looked out for, provided for, and even given him a job in my business, he, following a minor argument, cut his head on a window trying to get into my house to carrying on fighting, told the police I had hit hime with a spade and I subsequently went through one and half years of complete and utter hell during which I lost my house, my business, and on occassions my sanity.

                    Dont 'struggle' with trying to find an answer as to why people can point a fingure and your life falls down around your feet because it just does, I can testify to that. Trying to find a reason will make you ill and bitter.

                    Numerous members have posted advising you of legal implications etc but please let me advise you from my own personal experience regarding emotional aspects and constructive support.

                    I have found that you DO have to prove your innocence as in guilty until you prove yourself innocent, unfortunately that is the sad state of affairs with todays police forces. However, on the plus side, you have the support of your girlfriend, who is a currently serving police officer, the support of your ex partner who has a daughter to you, and your stepsons past is somewhat questionable.

                    Do not question what is fair regarding the ss and the police, it will drive you crazy, my own experience tells me that when you are under investigation your life is not your own and you 'belong to them' and unfortunately you must play their game.

                    It does honestly sound as though this will be a NFA, nothing has been done by the police to seperate your police officer girlfriend from you, which I am sure would have happened should charges be about to be brought,.

                    If I could offer one shred of advice however, should this go to a court, please do not hold back in letting the courts know of your stepsons bad character, the judiciary tend to be somewhat apart from everyday life but a jury do, if advised of all the relevant facts, act on common sense and will take into account previous history.

                    It would be worth, when it is a NFA to discuss the implications with your solicitor

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      The election result and consequent political fallout reminds me......

                      Originally posted by Casehardened View Post
                      You're asking questions which most of us have also asked ourselves Some, including myself, have written to our MP's detailing our experiences in the system.

                      There was no way that the last government, with Harriet Harmann at the tiller, was going to do anything except try to convict more 'rapists' and they changed the goalposts considerably with the 2003 Sexual Offences Act.

                      I had a sympathetic reply from my MP with a promise to refer my letter to the shadow (at that time, pre-election) Home Affairs office, and to be fair the coalition have tried. They proposed anonominity for rape defendants unless convicted and Ken Clarke famously suggested that rape should be categorised by degree, but both these proposals were shouted down by the usual baying mob.

                      Unfortunately this cause is not a populist one
                      I won't be sorry to see her sink back into political obscurity
                      'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Waiting for an outcome

                        Originally posted by felix View Post
                        Really sorry, this is grim!. Sorry indeed and welcome to this exclusive club! I can't give you any legal heads up - but just say that it often takes many (5+ in my case) months not a few days before decisions to NFA are taken. So prepare for a long haul.

                        If you are not arrested, my understanding is that it won't become an entry on PNC, but others will correct me if I am wrong - hence won't appear on records.

                        Also, if you are not arrested, you may not even get a formal NFA.

                        I uderstand the Social Services Gestapo pile in sooner than the police when it comes to investiagting whather your daughter's visits may continue while you are under investigation.

                        I am sure others will be along soon to give more help. Hang in there, we are all here to help!

                        Best wishes

                        Felix
                        Hi i was curious about what you said about if you are not arrested not getting a formal NFA. I attended a voluntary interview 27 months ago and since then iv'e heard nothing at all.I have moved in that time so weather they have sent a letter to my old address i do not know(maybe thats wishful thinking on my part).But still at the end of the day not knowing anything after all this time feels just as bad as it did on day one.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Originally posted by whatsgoingtohappen View Post
                          Hi i was curious about what you said about if you are not arrested not getting a formal NFA. I attended a voluntary interview 27 months ago and since then iv'e heard nothing at all.I have moved in that time so weather they have sent a letter to my old address i do not know(maybe thats wishful thinking on my part).But still at the end of the day not knowing anything after all this time feels just as bad as it did on day one.
                          Felix hasn't logged on to the forum for a couple of years so may not respond (my fault for resurrecting an old thread!) however if you were not arrested and bailed then effectively your situation is no different to if you were out in your car and had been pulled over by traffic police for a 'chat' about something or other, e.g. their database shows the vehicle being uninsured, you were able to give a full explanation, and so you would have been sent on your way without a ticket.
                          'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

                          Comment

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